My demons...

[happy soul]

Originally Posted by M.Tesla

My demon is that I feel utterly abandoned by God. I thought he was supposed to love me and make sure I'm okay, but it feels I'm lost to him. He doesn't even know I am here. It hurts so bad. I pray and I get nothing. I can listen to Christian music and see the perspectives of other people and how they feel and communicate and feel guided by God. I don't feel that way. Is it because I like the same sex? Is it a curse? I'm not sure, but I have little left to fight for or to fight with. Feel defeated. I want to know God is real.

Can someone help me?

I have two suggestions.

Spend a while each day just sitting down and being with God. JUST SIT THERE. Don't talk. Don't pray. Just enter God's presence and be quiet. It's a form of meditation and a way to connect with God and receive God's love. Don't TRY. Sit there and be with God.

Secondly, try repeating these affirmations. Just a few repetitions is enough, which would only take twenty seconds or so. And don't worry if you don't think you believe the words, you don't have to believe them to get the benefit.

- I am priceless to God. I am worth more than any amount of money.

- God loves me. I am worthy of His love.

- God sees me as lovable and beautiful.

- My life has meaning and value.

What you're going through isn't uncommon. I went through a similar thing once. It's a 'dark night of the soul.' The good news is that these kinds of things are almost always temporary. Things will eventually get better.

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by God-Like

Accepting yourself as you are is accepting god as god is .

Problems can occur when God is personalised in way's where god has preferences and looks over and loves one individual over another.

The greatest challenge as I see it is loving oneself as one is, or if one is not feeling that they are living life truly as they want to be or as they believe they should then one will only feel a level of peace if one makes steps towards this.

When one feels that they are doing the best that they can in such areas then it won't matter what anyone else thinks, or whether anyone else loves you or not including God personalised.


x daz x

Dazzer, hey there. I wanted to add on a few thoughts here...

You're right the challenge is to see God (or Source or One) as always connected. As Love that surrounds and fills us. We are within Source but Source is also within us.

Without this, the OP may certainly feel rejected by traditional religion and a traditional God figure that sees God as harshly judgmental and separate from us. When we see Source as only "God in the heavens" as separate from us that we can feel alienated and shamed, due to a foundational rejection -- i.e., rejection of the soul, rejection of our existence.


Equally MTesla may also feel shamed and rejected by his fellow human beings. And he is actually referencing something deep and true in not separating Source from sources (us), as it's really a connected thing, a spectrum, a both/and sort of thing. Which is that he deserves simple lovingkindness and equanimity by virtue of his humanity...as do we all. And that he's missing some of that authentic love from the Divine...both from Source (God) and from sources (us, humanity), because these things are not separate, in truth.

Sure, Source may be more reliable in "Oneness form" in the infinite foundational love that Source provides in every moment (can't be that, eh? ;) but then again, there's also nothing like a real hug or a kind word from someone who genuinely gives a damn from one of these little sources running around down here Do we have to pick, hahaha? Luckily NO we do not :). There are in that sense two kinds of presence, and we are here for one another to manifest one kind of divine presence...the simple kind that humanity embody or one another. To be and do lovingkindness and equanimity for one another.

Because in this realm, we are the manifest God on earth for one another. God isn't just one of us (as the song goes). God is all of us. Each and everyone one of us. And we are God's manifest lovingkindness and equanimity for one another here on earth. Source can't be there to give you or me or Tesla a hand or a shoulder or a kind word in the way we can do for one another. Those are jobs for "source" and not "Source", or rather those are jobs where Source is manifest as sources (as multitudes).

Peace & blessings
7L

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by happy soul

I have two suggestions.

Spend a while each day just sitting down and being with God. JUST SIT THERE. Don't talk. Don't pray. Just enter God's presence and be quiet. It's a form of meditation and a way to connect with God and receive God's love. Don't TRY. Sit there and be with God.

Secondly, try repeating these affirmations. Just a few repetitions is enough, which would only take twenty seconds or so. And don't worry if you don't think you believe the words, you don't have to believe them to get the benefit.

- I am priceless to God. I am worth more than any amount of money.

- God loves me. I am worthy of His love.

- God sees me as lovable and beautiful.

- My life has meaning and value.

What you're going through isn't uncommon. I went through a similar thing once. It's a 'dark night of the soul.' The good news is that these kinds of things are almost always temporary. Things will eventually get better.

Happy Soul, great affirmations!!! Thank you for sharing...they are direct and right on point.

MTesla, these apply to you . You are valuable and worthy...and I'm sending you a bear hug from afar Please read my discussion with God-Like. I want to affirm you are right to question why we don't provide one another with more authentic love on our journeys...and I hope that this gives you confidence to pursue your own journey in authentic love for yourself and others.

Peace & blessings
7L

[M.Tesla]

Originally Posted by happy soul

I have two suggestions.

Spend a while each day just sitting down and being with God. JUST SIT THERE. Don't talk. Don't pray. Just enter God's presence and be quiet. It's a form of meditation and a way to connect with God and receive God's love. Don't TRY. Sit there and be with God.

Secondly, try repeating these affirmations. Just a few repetitions is enough, which would only take twenty seconds or so. And don't worry if you don't think you believe the words, you don't have to believe them to get the benefit.

- I am priceless to God. I am worth more than any amount of money.

- God loves me. I am worthy of His love.

- God sees me as lovable and beautiful.

- My life has meaning and value.

What you're going through isn't uncommon. I went through a similar thing once. It's a 'dark night of the soul.' The good news is that these kinds of things are almost always temporary. Things will eventually get better.

Thx to this I realized it is a dnots. I still feel quite horrible but the thought of a road trip to my home state sounds like it will zap the stress literally right out if me. That's what I need.

[M.Tesla]

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

Dazzer, hey there. I wanted to add on a few thoughts here...

You're right the challenge is to see God (or Source or One) as always connected. As Love that surrounds and fills us. We are within Source but Source is also within us.

Without this, the OP may certainly feel rejected by traditional religion and a traditional God figure that sees God as harshly judgmental and separate from us. When we see Source as only "God in the heavens" as separate from us that we can feel alienated and shamed, due to a foundational rejection -- i.e., rejection of the soul, rejection of our existence.


Equally MTesla may also feel shamed and rejected by his fellow human beings. And he is actually referencing something deep and true in not separating Source from sources (us), as it's really a connected thing, a spectrum, a both/and sort of thing. Which is that he deserves simple lovingkindness and equanimity by virtue of his humanity...as do we all. And that he's missing some of that authentic love from the Divine...both from Source (God) and from sources (us, humanity), because these things are not separate, in truth.

Sure, Source may be more reliable in "Oneness form" in the infinite foundational love that Source provides in every moment (can't be that, eh? ;) but then again, there's also nothing like a real hug or a kind word from someone who genuinely gives a damn from one of these little sources running around down here Do we have to pick, hahaha? Luckily NO we do not :). There are in that sense two kinds of presence, and we are here for one another to manifest one kind of divine presence...the simple kind that humanity embody or one another. To be and do lovingkindness and equanimity for one another.

Because in this realm, we are the manifest God on earth for one another. God isn't just one of us (as the song goes). God is all of us. Each and everyone one of us. And we are God's manifest lovingkindness and equanimity for one another here on earth. Source can't be there to give you or me or Tesla a hand or a shoulder or a kind word in the way we can do for one another. Those are jobs for "source" and not "Source", or rather those are jobs where Source is manifest as sources (as multitudes).

Peace & blessings
7L

Thx well it's either I have a demon living inside me that is good at masking itself but at the same time wreaking havic on my emotions or it's dnots, doesn't feel like anything can really cure it I'm trying to be gentle and accepting everything just feels heavy.

[davidmartin]

I thought of something while driving home, think of all the wingnutty, crazy religious types like Benny Hinn. God is still with them, I believe and so do they, even though they're wrong about a lot of stuff, and they don't listen to him. How much more then is he with you. If he works in them then think how widespread and complete his working is but it's hard to perceive until you think hold on a minute, he's working with that guy?

[M.Tesla]

I dunno I just won't believe in anything anymore. Why in the first place should I? Every...everything I ever clung to, or held.... Taken away I don't see why any of this life matters I'd.ratherjust dissociate the rest of my life away. No one really cares at the end of the day. I hate BPD. So much.

[davidmartin]

Originally Posted by M.Tesla

I dunno I just won't believe in anything anymore. Why in the first place should I? Every...everything I ever clung to, or held.... Taken away I don't see why any of this life matters I'd.ratherjust dissociate the rest of my life away. No one really cares at the end of the day. I hate BPD. So much.

don't worry theres many who do care and are willing you to come through

[happy soul]

Originally Posted by M.Tesla

I don't see why any of this life matters

YOU matter.

People (and all other beings) matter.

Love matters because living beings matter.

You matter because you FEEL - because you can be happy, because you can suffer.

You feel because you have consciousness, awareness.

Life matters because that which lives matters. (and btw those who have 'died' are still alive)

Just as you matter to yourself, and if you had children they would matter to you, you matter to God.

[God-Like]

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

Dazzer, hey there. I wanted to add on a few thoughts here...

You're right the challenge is to see God (or Source or One) as always connected. As Love that surrounds and fills us. We are within Source but Source is also within us.

Without this, the OP may certainly feel rejected by traditional religion and a traditional God figure that sees God as harshly judgmental and separate from us. When we see Source as only "God in the heavens" as separate from us that we can feel alienated and shamed, due to a foundational rejection -- i.e., rejection of the soul, rejection of our existence.


Equally MTesla may also feel shamed and rejected by his fellow human beings. And he is actually referencing something deep and true in not separating Source from sources (us), as it's really a connected thing, a spectrum, a both/and sort of thing. Which is that he deserves simple lovingkindness and equanimity by virtue of his humanity...as do we all. And that he's missing some of that authentic love from the Divine...both from Source (God) and from sources (us, humanity), because these things are not separate, in truth.

Sure, Source may be more reliable in "Oneness form" in the infinite foundational love that Source provides in every moment (can't be that, eh? ;) but then again, there's also nothing like a real hug or a kind word from someone who genuinely gives a damn from one of these little sources running around down here Do we have to pick, hahaha? Luckily NO we do not :). There are in that sense two kinds of presence, and we are here for one another to manifest one kind of divine presence...the simple kind that humanity embody or one another. To be and do lovingkindness and equanimity for one another.

Because in this realm, we are the manifest God on earth for one another. God isn't just one of us (as the song goes). God is all of us. Each and everyone one of us. And we are God's manifest lovingkindness and equanimity for one another here on earth. Source can't be there to give you or me or Tesla a hand or a shoulder or a kind word in the way we can do for one another. Those are jobs for "source" and not "Source", or rather those are jobs where Source is manifest as sources (as multitudes).

Peace & blessings
7L

I always speak of reflections cos there pretty cool lol, and as you say it's a challenge to see God as always connected to all or as all / one / source.

It's impossible for an individual on this plain of reality to encompass God as all / one / source while living life on earth.

So we can have these feelings that we are not God or something other than what we think we are.

As you know I have had a lot of grief lately and it sucks from one perspective even though I have realized what I have.

This reality is not a reality that encompasses all there is in one mind-body and there is the challenge.

The challenge to be as we are, come what may while there is the knowing that our individuality at times creates difficulties for us to try and overcome.


x daz x