How Do I Attract Emotionally Avail. Men who want A LTR?

MissCreativeSpirit · #1 01-01-2019, 04:41 PM

I have struggled with this my whole life. I REALLY WANT a Life long committed partner who deeply loves me and is with me until the end of my life? I meditate in it, I date around. I write it in the first line of online dating site profiles! I am starting to think aI must find some kind of arranged marriage just to have a companion at all that sticks. I have been alone 12 years besides dating like 5 dud emotionally unavailable. Jerks who just used me for sex.

iamthat · #2 01-01-2019, 06:55 PM

Yes, unfortunately men can be jerks (and I speak as a man).

A couple of observations, which may be totally off the mark, as I don't know you and your post is brief.

Firstly, you come across as emotionally frustrated, which is understandable because it sounds like you have struggled with this for a long time. You also sound quite idealistic - you want a life-long committed partner who deeply loves you and will be with you until the end of your life. Of course, this can happen, but do you come across to the men you meet as emotionally needy and desperate? If so, this will put many men off.

It often seems to happen in life that emotionally needy people attract partners who are emotionally aloof and unavailable. Perhaps this is a learning experience to push our buttons and make us aware of how we are.

I suggest that the solution lies within you. As the saying goes, what we resist persists. Maybe something within you has to change for you to find what you are looking for. If you incarnated with the intention to be with a particular person then that relationship will manifest with perfect timing. So maybe try to be content with your life just as it is and patiently trust the universe.

Good luck.

Peace.

Exa4310 · #3 16-01-2019, 07:12 AM

You can try writing down the characteristics of your ideal partner. Afterwards, visualize yourself being together with that person. Writing down my desires is effective for me because it helps me visualize effectively

MissCreativeSpirit · #4 18-01-2019, 06:31 PM

Ok, so technically I have this now. I've succeeded. But he's human, he and I both have our own serious problems outside of the whole being emotionally avail. to one another.

7thSign · #5 18-01-2019, 11:51 PM

Yeah you can heal each other. But what I learned healing the other will only go faster if you are able to heal yourself first. Or else healing the other and being healed by that person will make you return to where you started emotionally. To heal yourself you must become yourself best friend. To be kind to yourself like you want others to treat you.

squadus · #6 12-02-2019, 04:59 AM

Continue to enjoy doing the things you love, and the right person will come along.

MissCreativeSpirit · #7 12-02-2019, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iamthat

Yes, unfortunately men can be jerks (and I speak as a man).

A couple of observations, which may be totally off the mark, as I don't know you and your post is brief.

Firstly, you come across as emotionally frustrated, which is understandable because it sounds like you have struggled with this for a long time. You also sound quite idealistic - you want a life-long committed partner who deeply loves you and will be with you until the end of your life. Of course, this can happen, but do you come across to the men you meet as emotionally needy and desperate? If so, this will put many men off.

It often seems to happen in life that emotionally needy people attract partners who are emotionally aloof and unavailable. Perhaps this is a learning experience to push our buttons and make us aware of how we are.

I suggest that the solution lies within you. As the saying goes, what we resist persist.

I think I can swing to emotionally aloof at times like everyone else. I want a completely devoted and confident romantic partner!
I am very tired off trying to force myself to accept any less!

Shabda · #8 12-02-2019, 07:53 PM

Why not try something a bit different than an affirmation? It is somewhat similar to the idea of affirmations, but also has a creative element that everyone has and uses, for positive and negative in their lives, whether they realize it or not. First, identify exactly what you want. You have already done that so that is good.

Next think about how it would FEEL, if the goal had already been accomplished for years. The goal is to habitually FEEL that feeling rather than to imagine the factual data that you want. Instead imagine how having the goal feels, and then FEEL that feeling that implies the goal already accomplished. Feeling is the key that unlocks the entire thing so that it manifests. But you ought to feel from a point at the end of this story, not anywhere earlier, and at that end FEEL what you would feel if you had your entire list, every aspect, perfectly existing already in your life.

Do not use the mind to go over the details of HOW it will come to pass, or WHEN, as these things cause a limitation and if anything, prevent the goal ever being realized. Instead, just assume that the "Universe," or "God," is going to take care of the details.

So, to make it short and sweet, try this:

1. Feel from the state of the goal accomplished. Assume that feeling , but do not listen to your mind or your senses as they will try to tell you that none of it exists. Instead, be detached from the old state that desired the goal, and be detached to the mind and the things it insists are true. It takes some work, but if you do this often enough to overwrite the mental habit, it will become the new habit.

2. Always leave the time wide open, and imagine something in the future well after it has been accomplished. But make that image/feeling imply that all of the specific things have been accomplished. That is what feeling it as if it already exists does. Often we do the same thing in a negative sense by imagining and feeling the emotions about a thing we do NOT want to happen, and when we do that we literally manifest exactly that rather than protecting ourselves from it. Either way, we create our reality based on how we imagine and feel most often.

3. Bring the feeling to a specific thing or action, that also implies it having already been manifested, i.e. seeing the ring on your finger Implying marriage, lifelong commitment and even children if that is a part of the goal. Another way is to hear a friend congratulating you on being in such a long, wonderful, satisfying relationship. Another would be thanking the Universe, God, or your luck and/or choice making abilities on having chosen to start the relationship that has made you so happy and contented. Now, one detail about this...if you happen to be seeing anything happen in your mind's eye, do NOT watch it as if it is a movie being acted out in front of you, view it from your own eyes WITHIN the scene, actively participating in it and FEELING it.

All of this are basics of the New Thought movement, but I have always taken things specifically from Neville Goddard, so these are the methods that he taught his entire life, and they work. There is absolutely NO reason to settle for or accept anything lesser than what you want, but the way you think and feel about it has a great deal to do with whether or not it ever manifests in your reality. You hold the keys in your own hands. Use them! At the very least, give it a try and see if you notice these feelings creating things in your life that you desire.

Be not emotionally anything but the state you would naturally be in if you had your desire. It requires a great deal of self control to think and feel in a way that will create, but it is SO well worth it once you begin to accomplish this. Try it.

Regarding emotions:

“When I speak of feeling I do not mean emotion, but acceptance of the fact that the desire is fulfilled. Feeling grateful, fulfilled, or thankful, it is easy to say, “Thank You,” “Isn’t it wonderful!” or “It is finished.”

“When you get into the state of thankfulness, you can either awaken knowing it is done, or fall asleep in the feeling of the wish fulfilled.” – Neville Goddard

Feel something lovely for you that is done, but do it to the point that you feel thankful that it was done, then you will have done what he taught.

AaronOswaldEdwards · #9 12-02-2019, 07:56 PM

I often say to people longing for a partner.

What makes you need a partner ?

I myself only seek a partner when I truly find myself “whole”, perhaps something
In your life needs to be addressed before you find that special someone ?

I do wish you luck in finding a partner, I do know how difficult it can be but hopefully in time you will find someone, patience is very difficult

TiasaSoul · #10 16-02-2019, 05:20 PM

a lot of times we focus on what we want and not what others want which causes the frustration. We focus on what we want that we demand it from others with different desires. A lot of woman approach dating as in “ trying to change people to fit their reality”. It simply does not work. A lot of men do not want long-lasting relationships and even thinking that far makes them uncomfortable. Do not change your desires but adjust who you put your desires on. If a man does not outright tell you he is look for the same thing you are, he is just not a match.