This male higher up is making my work life hell these days!

[OnceInALifeTime]

Hi all,

I know I've already discussed him, but it's gotten out of hand and I'm seriously hurt because I've worked really hard to get to this point and his erratic ways are destroying everything.

This older white director started at our company a few months before I did (I'm a female in my twenties). He's not someone I report to, but I have to work with him. When we initially met, he seemed decent. We had a few chats. He asked me to go out for drinks, I never followed through, no big deal.

He was fine with me (since we don't work in the same location), but always dismissive somehow. He'd never answer my emails. One day, he called me an "amateur" via email. When I called him up on the phone, he made fun of how we prounounce my last name until I told him I wasn't impressed at all.

We didn't speak at all after that incident. When he heard I was visiting his office, he asked me to maybe join for drinks. I didn't pick up on this offer and he didn't ask when I got there. He'd ignore me in the office, shut down convos if I were to intervene, yet if he saw me on the street, he'd make sure I notice him and say Hi back.

One day, I showed up unexpectedly at their office. Everyone greeted me, except him. He hid behind his computer until my own manager call him up to say hi like a kid.

These past three weeks, he's been making my life hell. Ignoring my emails blatantly, escalating directly to my manager for no reason, sending mean emails I response to queries, logging in complaints in my name when he was the one to receive them because he didn't cooperate with the client, dismissing my emails to clients and re-writing the same one after I did send them one, yelling at me via email, dismissing my phone calls.

He's been acting absolutely insane towards me. I understand he's under a lot of stress and so are we all, but he's been highly unreasonable. I'm seriously questionning my future in this company because of him. We are supposed to work together on a daily basis and he's not cooperating. He makes me look bad in front of clients. We had a call this morning, he didn't let me talk at all! The material was mine to explain and I didn't say anything because he took the lead.

I'm tired of this indvidual. He makes me feel incompetent (when I've had many many positive reviews from higher management during my first year) and very little. I'm not sure I can continue working like this. I'm seriously thinking of moving on. Everyone told me he's very nice to them and I get this treatment for no apparent reason.

Can anyone locate where the problem lies and whether it will get better?

[Tobi]

...Whether it will get better? Are you expecting him to change?
That is unlikely. I can't imagine what he's up to. I have never worked in an office or corporate environment so maybe I don't know enough of the things that go on in such environments. Life like that has never been my calling or necessary for me. So it's possible I don't have enough insight....

But I have met various people, and some change gradually -sure, But others remain entrenched in behaviours and habits all their lives which they think are right ways to live.

The worst thing anyone can say is "If it were me....etc....this is MY advice..."

So it is up to you and your own instincts. But removing yourself, gracefully and without rancour, to a more harmonious, productive and rewarding work environment (hopefully) sounds like an option.

[ragdoll]

He is threatened by you and the only way he can deal with you is to destroy you in underhanded means.

[OnceInALifeTime]

Threatened by me?