I Finally Did It! (I hope he will call?)

You are thinking too much. Why do you want to play this game? Is hope and anticipation better than knowing?

Why not just go to him, in private, and say something like "You know I am gay and if you are likewise inclined I'd like to spend some time with you, not for sex but because you look to like good guy to hang out with."

Originally Posted by Rin

You are thinking too much. Why do you want to play this game? Is hope and anticipation better than knowing?

Why not just go to him, in private, and say something like "You know I am gay and if you are likewise inclined I'd like to spend some time with you, not for sex but because you look to like good guy to hang out with."

Well, I'm thinking maybe being this direct could open me up to a sexual harassment charge? I don't think he would do such a thing, but you never know. I may just do this after feeling the situation out well enough.

[twinkle]

Instead of telling him you are gay or interested in him at first, you could invite him to go somewhere with you.

Originally Posted by twinkle

Instead of telling him you are gay or interested in him at first, you could invite him to go somewhere with you.

I would just be afraid of him saying "no." I don't take rejection well. Therefore, I do everything I can to avoid it.

[twinkle]

I wonder if you could do something more subtle like bringing back lunch carryout (maybe a pizza since it has extra slices), and ask him if he would like some.

Originally Posted by twinkle

I wonder if you could do something more subtle like bringing back lunch carryout (maybe a pizza since it has extra slices), and ask him if he would like some.

This is a good idea, and something I have even considered. I just have to find out what he likes, though. Because he doesn't look like someone who takes food from just anyone. He's a pretty-boy type. And you know how those pretty-boys are. Even though they may be humble they still have a pride about them.

I be wanting to find things out about him from his cousin (who I ride to and from work with) but I don't want to ask too much too often, to where I start looking suspicious. I thinking if I can get in good with his dad (not hard to warm up to because he is pretty handsome himself for a man in his 40s---he looks older but I can definitely see where my dude gets his sexiness from!), then maybe I can get closer to him that way . I'm trying to cross all of my T's... lol.

*UPDATE 11/10/2012*

Just to follow through with a quick update on the situation about this guy (my object of affection). He never did call, but I have managed to get a little closer to him. He at least speaks to me now and doesn't act aggravated or annoyed but actually smiles and is quite warm even from his distance. I peep that he is much like myself: he's not necessarily shy but more than likely has a lot of trust issues and takes a while to warm up to strangers. I think he is kinda scared, has been curious about being with the same sex, but is scared, confused, and ashamed of it. I have been all of these things, which is why I pretty much know it when I see it. I think he cares a lot about image. So all in all, he probably has a lot of walls up that are going to take some time to break through. Any guy who wants to get at him is just going to be a patient and caring guy. I won't say I'm the man for the job, but I am at least going to give it a try, as he has virtually forced me to break out of my own box!

I have managed to have a conversation with him, find out his hobbies and things about his life. The other day, I happened to wind up on the same lunch break as him, so before he clocked out I asked him if he was going to get something to eat... I rode to McDonald's with him (I already had my lunch, I just wanted a chance to talk to him, of course). Although we don't have the same hobbies/interests in common, personality wise we are actually very much alike. He's also a church boy who's never drank or smoked anything... We stopped at the gas station and I pumped his gas while he went in to pay. It was a very small, seemingly insignificant gesture, of course, but i guess I'm going to keep doing little things like telling him to be careful on the road, maybe throw a snack his way or something, just little things to let him know that I care about him, until he warms up more and we possibly graduate to bigger things. I'm not getting my hopes up too high but just trying to stay positive. ;) I did get his number but I'm waiting for the right time to cal him.

[twinkle]

It is a good sign he took you to McDonalds with him. It is best to take it slow to get to know him better. Maybe things will turn out with him. :)

Originally Posted by Fire7

*UPDATE 11/10/2012*

Just to follow through with a quick update on the situation about this guy (my object of affection). He never did call, but I have managed to get a little closer to him. He at least speaks to me now and doesn't act aggravated or annoyed but actually smiles and is quite warm even from his distance. I peep that he is much like myself: he's not necessarily shy but more than likely has a lot of trust issues and takes a while to warm up to strangers. I think he is kinda scared, has been curious about being with the same sex, but is scared, confused, and ashamed of it. I have been all of these things, which is why I pretty much know it when I see it. I think he cares a lot about image. So all in all, he probably has a lot of walls up that are going to take some time to break through. Any guy who wants to get at him is just going to be a patient and caring guy. I won't say I'm the man for the job, but I am at least going to give it a try, as he has virtually forced me to break out of my own box!

I have managed to have a conversation with him, find out his hobbies and things about his life. The other day, I happened to wind up on the same lunch break as him, so before he clocked out I asked him if he was going to get something to eat... I rode to McDonald's with him (I already had my lunch, I just wanted a chance to talk to him, of course). Although we don't have the same hobbies/interests in common, personality wise we are actually very much alike. He's also a church boy who's never drank or smoked anything... We stopped at the gas station and I pumped his gas while he went in to pay. It was a very small, seemingly insignificant gesture, of course, but i guess I'm going to keep doing little things like telling him to be careful on the road, maybe throw a snack his way or something, just little things to let him know that I care about him, until he warms up more and we possibly graduate to bigger things. I'm not getting my hopes up too high but just trying to stay positive. ;) I did get his number but I'm waiting for the right time to cal him.

All this game playing. Sigh!

And the people here support it!?

I like pumping gas, even with no one around! A seemingly insignificant gesture important enough to be mentions in the post. I think it is hugely significant for you, and may be totally meaningless for him.

You seem to build a friendship but when you finally come out that you are gay, and if he is not he may feel deceived and manipulated. He may not take kindly to the realization that you had your fun playing games at his expense.

If I ever have to build a new relationship I would say something like "I like you. I'd like to get to know you better. If you feel the same, and if you are not in a relationship, I'd like to invite you to coffee, my treat, at a time convenient to you. If we get along well, and we both feel that we want to continue seeing each other we can do so. If we don't want to continue I shall revert our relationship to a professional basis as far as work is concerned, and treat you with the respect you deserve as a person and as a co-worker (manager, or whatever).:

You being gay, might add, "BTW I am gay, I'd like to mention this so that you know my position."

"Think about it and let me know. A simple yes or no is good enough, no long explanation necessary"
*smile* and exit.

Edit: Ahh yes, when you do that make sure that you speak from the same eye-to eye level or lower. No, you don't have to go onto your knees but avoid a situation where you are in a dominant position, e.g. you standing and he sitting, because that will bring up his defenses.