Hairdressing, and arguing with people dream

[Ladyrose92]

I had a dream earlier in the night where I was in some bushes by the library with my sister, I was naked and was washing my hair, there were two men that kept trying to get close but I was giving them dirty looks so they kept away. After a few times I decided we should go as they wouldn't leave off. Then I Dreamt I was going to get my hair done. There was a young black girl who had the same hair style and colouring as me. She came over to me when I was waiting and put her head next to me so we could see it looked the same in the mirror. We both said sisters at the same time. It was so funny, she was saying I should either have light pink, a darker pink, or light purple in my hair with the dark hair and blonde to blend it in. I decided on light pink. Matt seemed surprised but when it was done it looked amazing and all blended in so well you could hardly tell there was pink in it until you looked closely. Me and this girl got on so well, I was laughing so much, more than I have for years in my own life and we were really vibing with each other. Then we went to Matts mums house after a late night partying with everyone that was at this hairdressers, people that worked there and was there and then loads of people's friends. When we got to Matts mums we went into the back garden, there was a device like a burglar light alarm that sprayed cat pee on anyone trying to break in. We quickly hid under a bridge in the garden and was laying under there, then we decided to just quickly go in. When we did, I got sprayed by the device but it didn't seem like pee just hot water. We went inside and went to bed. The next day Chloe Matts father in laws cousin (who I'm wary about because she kissed him once and gives him the bambi eyes) was there, she was complaining about the guy she was with and Matt was comforting her, in the end I'd had enough and I was saying how I'll be there for anyone no matter what, but a girl that flirts with another woman's boyfriend is not a girl for me. That's not someone I would be there for. I was saying how it's disrespectful and not necessary and she better back off. There was another lady there that agreed with me. I saw Chloe and Matt thinking about what I said and then Chloe gave Matt a now 64 old tape that they were earlier bonding over. She looked sad so I was saying to her she is lovely and deserves better than this other guy was treating her. That she needs to do things that make her happy, and look out for herself, then the right guy will come along, she won't have to search or look for him. She was happy after this and sat up and smiled. Then I was going to get a bus home, it had broken down so I was able to get on it when I was called to go back to Matts car I just got out of and would have missed the bus but luckily it was stationary. An old colleague Shane had his hand out to the bus like a hitchhiker to call it but it had broken down anyway. Then Matt and I were back home but he was out, my family were in the house. His drunk friend Danny was in the hallway arguing that we should let him in. I opened the front door and was saying there is not enough space and he causes a disturbance. He was saying that I said I don't like my mum anyway, I corrected him saying she can be a pain sometimes but I never said that. He was just arguing with everything I said trying to come in with his friend. So each time he come up the stairs or wouldn't listen I said I would call Matt and he would back off or agree with what I had said. This happened a few times then I woke up.

I was feeling really unsatisfied with my job last night, I feel like I try to move on but I can't and don't know how. I was thinking about what I would like to do, looking at teaching but then I felt like it wouldn't really make me happy, then I thought of hairdressing and that I would love to do that. I asked for guidance in my dreams for what would be a good career path for me to take, so I don't know if all the hair washing and colouring is relating to this?

[Michelle11]

I suspect the dream is somewhat related to your question about career but more in relation to what is holding you back from your God given gifts (Shane means gifts from God). You are trying to find some information out (library probably related to what career suits you) but are hiding (bushes) because you feel vulnerable and exposed (naked) so you ward off any actions (men) that might lead to a new career. So you may find hairdressing fun but that bit could symbolize a need to clean your thoughts first. Hair is generally symbolic for thoughts. You are getting familiar and comfortable with you shadow side but you may have to see your innocence in things first (pink hair) to get to a place where you look for what's in your best interests instead of going after what doesn't serve you (bit with Chloe). You have stuck with what is familiar (Matt) because a new path isn't moving yet (bus stationary). It's possible you may need to sort out judgement first to get something new going. The bit about your mom may be related to giving birth to new ideas or she could relate to feeling judged. Daniel means God is my judge so you are doing your best to keep judgement out of your life, fend it off, which is good, but shifting the beliefs that support feeling judged may need to happen first for the inner conflict to end for good. It's one thing to brush off some judgment some throws at us but if we can get to a place of knowing nothing anyone says has any bearing on truth then we won't ever find ourselves needing to brush anything off because we won't be triggered in the first place.

It is possible your difficulty with feeling judged relates to the competitive environment you grew up in lending to the misguided idea that there are winners and losers in life. Work on that black and white thinking style and free yourself from feeling judged. God never judges any of us, even your parents because they were simply sorely misguided in how they see life. One day all of us will know the truth of our emensely worth, it's just a matter of getting past all the human thinking garbage we pick up along the way. So just keep working on yourself and your work situation mat sort itself out without much need for a lot of effort on your part.

[Ladyrose92]

Ok I see, thank you. I was struggling with feeling judged today as I was thinking that my colleagues (especially two girls) don't really like me. When I was walking on the other side of the road last night past them I was looking at them to smile and one girl looked at me but quickly looked down. They went to the pub which I heard today, so I thought maybe she felt bad I wasn't invited or something relating to that. Also they asked if I wanted to go out before but I declined and they said they would invite me next time, but they've been out since together and not asked me. I was feeling really awkward in myself being here, but then I thought that they are 5 years younger than me and they like drinking etc which isn't my thing so much, I'd rather get home or go for a nice meal. So I let go of judging myself and now I feel better as Im not berating myself for them not liking me which may not even be the case. Is this the type of thing regarding judgement and changing thoughts to be free of it? I'm finding it hard to understand how to change this, is it that before I was thinking they don't like me end of, whereas now I've thought there are other factors that play a part such as age difference etc which is more grey thinking instead of black and white? and once I don't judge myself I feel reasonably happy in my job, which I generally do when there isn't a problem. or is it more that my judgements of myself in general is clouding being able to see what is best for me and then doing that knowing it is what I should do? Id love to do something creative for work but judgement holds me back from doing it freely, so maybe once Ive cleared judgement I will feel more confident experimenting and taking action that will naturally lead to a new job/career? The day before this dream I had a meeting at work as Ive had time off sick lately due to feeling run down and just generally struggling not feeling well enough to go in or feeling up to it. So I was upset with myself but I guess it is what it is. I do want a more satisfying job though. Also, people here are quite chatty, I don't really like to chat about meaningless things as they do, so I just feel socially awkward and its hard to know what's best.

I just feel there's something wrong with me, the ways I struggle in my life I found out are Aspergers related, I have a print out and literally most things to do with social and friendships/relationships, communcation, and physiological/neurological difficulties of Aspergers are all things I experience and struggle with daily. I don't know if this is what I'm not seeing about myself and would explain a lot of the reasons why I struggle in life, things I judge myself about when it may just be who I am. It also says about black and white thinking is a symptom of this too. So Im just not sure how to move forward from this or how I need to change exactly. I don't know if all of this is part of judgment, and once I let go of it all then I will know what to do and see clearly. Its just so confusing.

[Michelle11]

No, not quite. Shifting from they don't like me or I'm not lovable to they didn't ask because of our age difference is the act of brushing off the feelings of judgment. When you didn't get asked to go or when the girl diverted her eyes you made assumptions about what they were thinking and feeling. Your assumptions may be right or they may be wrong. You can't ever know unless you ask and even if you ask they may lie to you to avoid hurting your feelings. Assuming things, seeing the silver lining in things, looking at the positive all help us feel better but they don't clear the reason why we felt bad in the first place. There is an aspect of you that likely feels like a loser because your parents fed you that lie. So now when some form of rejection happens, whether or not it was intentional, your feelings of worth get triggered. You possibly feel like a loser. No one wants to feel that sort of rejection or lack of acceptance so we do things like strike out, hide, or rationalize what occurred. Getting to the understanding that no one is a loser is what will free you from feeling like a loser. When we make things personal, the idea that I am a loser has to change the main shift is back to being a winner for us to feel better. But if we understand there are no winners or losers in life then the whole dynamic of winning and losing loses it's power over how we feel about ourselves and when things happen that aren't in our favor we won't internalize it as a sign of our lack of worth. If we are winning a lot in life and identify with that winning when the winning stops, which will happen, we can start to feel like a loser. It's a matter of changing how we identify ourselves, ideally, as a beautiful, brilliant, priceless soul having a confusing human experience, then our sense of self and how we feel is not tied to anything that happens to us as a human by other humans. Ultimately it isn't the behavior so much that has to change but the beliefs that have to change.

One really great analogy I came across that helped me get it was that who we are is like the sun. Shining bright and strong. At times there may be clouds blocking the sun but that doesn't mean the sun is gone. We just can't see it. Our soul is the sun, our human brain and it's clouded thinking are the clouds keeping our human self from seeing our true worth but just because the clouds are there doesn't at all change the quality and brilliance of the sun. I believe our challenge as humans is to stop identifying with the clouds/confused clouded thinking. and identify with our soul. The idea that there are winners and losers in life is a big nasty cloud that causes great sadness in us if we aren't winning. It really pits us against others in an us versus them mentality that keeps us at odds, judging others and feeling judged ourselves. All of us have some confused clouded thinking, some more than others, but all of us, even the more vile of humans, is still the sun. They just have more work to find their way back to that truth. You are almost there.

[Ladyrose92]

ahh I love analogy's, they make it so much easier to understand and imagine the concept of what is being said. I get it now, when the clouds are there we would know the sun is shining behind and that we need to wait for the clouds to pass and that the fact the cloud is there doesn't change what is underneath/behind. So to see the cloud should not change our judgement of the self or others as pure divine souls, if we know the sun/soul is behind/beneath, then there is no need to judge it based on what appears to be skewing the view. I like that :) Ah I feel like pressure is releasing from my brain lol and a flutter in my heart, that's so cool! Thank you Michelle :)

[Michelle11]

Yes exactly. If you notice any clouds, any upsetting thoughts or feelings, ask yourself what are those clouds made up of, what thoughts or beliefs are creating these upsetting feelings or situations for me. Your human brain bought into the clouds but they aren't really. There is no substance to them even if they appear real. So just ask yourself what is behind the clouds, what's creating them and then ask what you need to know to clear them and life will conspire to bring you a healing.