How to fix issues?

Originally Posted by iamthat

I like Byron Katie's approach to dealing with issues with other people. We tell ourselves a story that someone should do certain things or be a certain way, and we believe that story. Then we get upset because they do what they do or they are what they are. If we can let go of our story of how someone else should be or behave then it is easier to accept the reality of how that person is. People are what they are until they are otherwise.

And in most cases issues arise because other people push our buttons or we push their buttons. Often this is a subconscious process, and we react because it brings up all sorts of feelings about similar situations usually going back to childhood. So the first thing to do is to become conscious of what is really going on beneath the surface.

Peace.

It's about accepting and appreciating people for what they are, than the more egocentric take of seeing them as pawns in your game: raising expectations of them before transacting which borders on using people (for whatever reason - could just be self-acknowledgement) to suit oneself.

♥

[dream jo]

dnt no
stprd belein ther is gud me a lng tim go

[dream jo]

iv a a 1000000000000000000 lst on me all bad i wud nevr or try 2 say bad thngs abot pele but me yes

[MertisN3w]

Originally Posted by GalTrav

We all have them. Sadly, it prevents us from having good and stable relationships. Like attracts like. If you have anger issues, you will attract someone with the same issue. How to work together in resolving them?

I think you get people in your life that are there to teach you something and that could be "destructive" depending on what you need to learn.

if you work on yourself and learn/experience, you will still get people to teach you something. so when you react in certain to actions, people, circumstances.. than ask yourself "why do i react this way?"

you react the way you do no matter what the other did

[Raziel]

Originally Posted by GalTrav

How to work together in resolving them?

The only way to fix an issue is to understand why it is happening.

#A wet ceiling is likely caused by a leaky pipe therefore replace the pipe.

#If your dog poops when you are out of the house either don't leave it so long, change when it eats a meal or get an outside kennel.

#If you have relationship problems then one of you is likely the cause. It will be a lot more complicated obviously but start simple...

#Work problems are essentially the same as relationship problems, you may just not suit the role that you are in.

Like doesn't always attract like - look at lovely people who attract abusive partners. Habits can be hard to break though so you can have a "type" whereby you repeat a cycle with whoever you are with.

If it is advice you're after or a brain storming session we are all here if needed.

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Originally Posted by knightoflenity

The only way to fix an issue is to understand why it is happening.

#A wet ceiling is likely caused by a leaky pipe therefore replace the pipe.

#If your dog poops when you are out of the house either don't leave it so long, change when it eats a meal or get an outside kennel.

#If you have relationship problems then one of you is likely the cause. It will be a lot more complicated obviously but start simple...

#Work problems are essentially the same as relationship problems, you may just not suit the role that you are in.

Like doesn't always attract like - look at lovely people who attract abusive partners. Habits can be hard to break though so you can have a "type" whereby you repeat a cycle with whoever you are with.

If it is advice you're after or a brain storming session we are all here if needed.

.

I believe like does attract like. You hear men and women say it all the time. Why do I keep ending up with the same type of bad person..

You are attracted to and attract those that resonate at your frequency.
If you're a loving person on the outside it doesn't mean you aren't harboring pain and resentment or have unresolved emotional issues toward the opposite sex.

I view your example as the female who is caring and loving is sad and unloved. She is attracting more of that same situation into her life which will give her exactly what she was feeling prior to meeting said butthead..

Hence my quote. Want to change your situation, change how you view you. Love yourself. Work towards resolving deep issues and find a happy state of being and you will attract someone who is at the same place. Or one who will help you get to that place faster. The bad will never stop coming. Only thing that can change is how you view and react to it.

[Raziel]

Originally Posted by Badcopyinc

You are attracted to and attract those that resonate at your frequency.
the female who is caring and loving is sad and unloved. She is attracting more of that same situation into her life which will give her exactly what she was feeling prior to meeting said butthead..

Hence my quote. Want to change your situation, change how you view you. Love yourself. Work towards resolving deep issues and find a happy state of being and you will attract someone who is at the same place. Or one who will help you get to that place faster. The bad will never stop coming. Only thing that can change is how you view and react to it.

What "like attracts like" is essentially saying is that it is your own fault & that isn't helpful to someone who is already suffering or in a bad place.

I'm honestly not trying to be awkward but things are surely more complicated than just loving yourself. You change, situations & circumstances change - it's not your fault all of the time.

A person needs the tools to survive, to understand that poop happens & they also need to not blame themselves when something simply horrible is happening to them.

The only way to fix an issue is to understand why it is happening - good and stable relationships still buckle & end unless you understand what each other are saying. It take a lot of work & isn't always fun. The for better for worse, richer or poorer in vows are there to signify & remind that it takes work.

Your anger issues shouldn't be taken out on the other person but they often are unfortunately - it really depends on talking & understanding - being prepared to accept faults & take criticism.

It's hard - no easy fix but you wanting to do something is a good start.

If you can elaborate then the good brainstorming can begin GalTrav .
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How to fix issues

Originally Posted by knightoflenity

What "like attracts like" is essentially saying is that it is your own fault & that isn't helpful to someone who is already suffering or in a bad place.

Love yourself is easy to say, once you love yourself & lets say you become a police officer. You help old ladies across the street etc & then one day you shoot an unarmed man in the heat of the moment ... do you still love yourself then?

I'm honestly not trying to be awkward but things are surely more complicated than just loving yourself. You change, situations & circumstances change - when you are good but bad things happen it's just life sure but it's not your fault all of the time.

A person needs the tools to survive, to understand that poop happens & they also need to not blame themselves when something simply horrible is happening to them.
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My perspective is different. things are as simple as loving yourself.
Everything is currently designed to teach you to seek outside means of happiness.
But when one focuses on themselves they're perspective will slowly change.
You can't know light until you first know darkness this is a 3D fact. So in order to progress to loving yourself you must embrace and experience those dark things.

Any and every religion I have learned about teaches to love thyself. Be and do good and you will be in the kingdom of heaven. Which to me says love yourself then you will love ALL. When this is done you will be in a state of presence/peace aka heaven.

Giving everyone a simple way to love themselves is not possible as everyone is on their own path and learns in different ways. I can recommend a slew of books but only some will read them. And those that read them may start looking inside but not all will if the time isn't right. It all depends on the individual. I can even see inside of people around me and find what they keep ignoring and even then they have to be willing to receive me telling them about it. Otherwise it will cause more denial and anger or fear.

Some get to the point of loving themselves via other means that don't include looking inside and paying attention to how they view themselves and others.
All I can do is relay my experiences. And in my experience and from what I've witnessed the more one wants to change themselves the more thier experiences change.

You can debate all types of scenarios and I could speculate on all of them and give you a explanation for each but it will still just be speculation. And the point of doing this would be to change either my perspective or yours. I don't want to change your beliefs. And no one but myself can change my beliefs. I only want to offer a different perspective. Those that have had enough of pain are done fighting will resonate with it. Those that don't resonate, have a different path and way of learning or aren't there yet. It all boils down to the individual and what they're ready for.

Most cases you are correct in that just telling someone to love themselves isn't the answer, even though it's as easy as that. But that's my lesson currently. Learning to get through to people in a way they will receive. I still growing in this department. I'm getting very good at doing this while sitting in front of another. At that point I can see/feel what they refuse to acknowledge in themselves. I'm always learning and that's what makes my life full of love. Because while trying to teach others to love themselves I'm also teaching myself to love me! In this scenario it's not about telling them to love themselves, it's usually a matter of helping them get on the path of discovering self love. That is the true way to help someone. direct them to the path of finding what they seek. Which is almost always love.

[Raziel]

Originally Posted by Badcopyinc

Most cases you are correct in that just telling someone to love themselves isn't the answer, even though it's as easy as that. That is the true way to help someone. direct them to the path of finding what they seek. Which is almost always love.

I agree with practically everything that you say here - the issue I always have is that there is nothing proveable as far a spirituality goes.

You can't prove that the soul exists so I don't want a teenager that has a vile boyfriend to read threads like this one & believe that "like" attracts "like". That same teenager doesn't need to hear that it is her issues that add fuel to the fire as that is simply untrue when they are so young.

It's unfair to suggest mountains of literature will fix real world problems - if you just find the right one.

It doesn't matter what either of us believe, talking & understanding is what fixes relationships that are actually going to go somewhere.

Originally Posted by Badcopyinc

Be and do good and you will be in the kingdom of heaven.

Lots of religions justify killing non believers too - religion is not a positive example that is most definitely not very spiritual so why is anything they propose valid?

It is more along the lines of "follow our rules or else you are damned".

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Originally Posted by knightoflenity

I agree with practically everything that you say here - the issue I always have is that there is nothing proveable as far a spirituality goes.

You can't prove that the soul exists so I don't want a teenager that has a vile boyfriend to read threads like this one & believe that "like" attracts "like". That same teenager doesn't need to hear that it is her issues that add fuel to the fire as that is simply untrue when they are so young.

It's unfair to suggest mountains of literature will fix real world problems - if you just find the right one.

It doesn't matter what either of us believe, talking & understanding is what fixes relationships that are actually going to go somewhere.



Lots of religions justify killing non believers too - religion is not a positive example that is most definitely not very spiritual so why is anything they propose valid?

It is more along the lines of "follow our rules or else you are damned".



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I never suggested books can fix problems. I actually suggested that only the person can fix themselves.

and sometimes that teenager needs to hear that loving herself will get her farther then requiring love from another.

The movie "what the bleep down the rabbit hole"
aims at showing the link between science, soul and consciousness.

research the 1000's of experiments on OOB OBE and AP studies proving the soul can leave the body.

Research what they mention in the movie i brought up. that proves consciousness. they mention RNG with consciousness in there as well.

research the colider experiments Proving how consciousness/observation affect the experiments results. proving LOA

and then research who specifically justified killing in the name of religion.

*hint.... It wasn't the one being worshiped that is for sure.

Thank you for the debate today its been a while since i allowed anyone to get me to debate something. I appreciate you for that.

maybe someone else will continue in my place but i can no longer