Newbie. Here’s My story

[Frozenintime]

I began looking into spirituality when I thought I had found my soul mate/twin flame.



I began looking into chakras/meditation and oneness.


I began reading about oneness.


Eventually I would mediate and after a bit of mantra repeating, I could find myself feeling at one with the universe.

I felt free





However eventually I began to hallucinate.
I became delusional.

I would mediate for hours.


Seeing visuals and hearing things.
Solving supposed equations.

I would meditate from sun to night fall.


I thought the things I was experiencing were real. They felt real. My emotions were through the roof. How could these things not be real if I could hear them/see them so clearly in my head.


Eventually I became a certain type of insane.




I was forcefully put into mental institutions.


I was doing no one no harm, but I was unable to be an active member of society.
Until I began taking medication. And slowly the other worldly feelings faded from my head. Slowly I left my make believe world and returned to this reality once again.
.








Now. I no longer feel liberated by oneness.



Instead I feel limited by it.


Oneness does not feel right anymore. .






It makes me feel like I am just a glob of playdough stuck into a giant ball of more playdough.





But I do still believe that I am the universe.





I believe that we attract the energy we produce.
I believe our lives are what we make of them.

I am happy to be alive.






ANYWAY. long post sorry.



Just thought I’d share my experience with spirituality!




Interested in hearing similar experiences. Thank you

[dream jo]

hi,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[Chrysalis]

Greetings Frozenintime and welcome to SF!