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Originally Posted by Bernard
Hi, my name is Bernard. I'm a 30 year old South African male, I have lived here my entire life. I have a stor..............ew witchcraft isn't evil and there was a group of people that practice white magic. She said she was Wiccan. Until this time I had very little understanding of Wicca, almost nothing. She told me about Mother Earth, I went online and found Mother Earth was a Wiccan deity. I was amazed, they called it "shock and awe". I am still somewhat in shock.
They speak to me everyday, they told me I was a Wiccan in a previous life. At that point I had no idea Wiccans believed in reincarnation. I went online and found the saying "once a witch, always a witch". This stunned me even more.
When I lie in bed I can feel a presence lying next to me at times. Sometimes my legs start moving without me moving them. I have dreams about purple laser light in the shape of a pentagram and hear voices so loud they hurt my ear drums (in my sleep). When I'm awake sometimes the voices tell me I will feel love right now and am overcome with emotion so powerful that I am overwhelmed. Sometimes they tell me they feel sad and tears stream down my face without me crying.
I did a lot of research about schizophrenia and found that there is almost no chance I am schizo. The voices keep quiet when I am doing something important, if I ask them to leave me alone they do. This is a luxury schizophrenics lack. My life has started to take a turn for the better since this started happening.
There is so much that I've left out, I'd appreciate any feedback that anyone has before I talk about them. Thank you for your time.
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I hesitate to offer this, Bernard, as the story doesn't have a conclusion but I offer it for what it's worth. It's not my story but is somewhat similar to your own.
Back in 2004 I was in Pueblo, Colorado parked and camping in a site behind a gas station. My wife and I went to the station for groceries where I saw a young tribal woman - a Native American Indian. I felt I should speak to her and an easy conversation quickly developed. She had an old station wagon in which she slept overnight and she killed time as long as she could each evening in the gas station cafeteria before turning in - Colorado is cold at night. She had had a difficult life, many family problems, a child she rarely saw and was undergoing treatment for schizophrenia - now called bipolar disorder I suppose. Drugs and booze also figured in her past.
I think I'm an easy listener and asked her about the voices. As she told me her story I asked my questions and after many of them I suggested that the voices she heard might not be because of schizophrenia. More questions left her wondering how a white Brit would be asking about her tribe and its customs, its shamen etc. The following evening we got together for longer and looked in more depth at her problems and whether the voices - for which she was being medicated - were really the result of the diagnosed condition. I couldn't change her circumstances but I do feel I was able to help her think about her tribal connections and consider whether these voices - along with the individuals who she could sense - were actually illness or real. For me what she reported was so similar to psychic sensitivity and awareness that it might help explain why her prescribed medication wasn't helping her at all. I strongly encouraged her not to discontinue it, though, until she'd had a chance to get to see the elders of the tribe to which she belonged. I advised her how to respond to the overpowering individuals who would draw close to her and tried as best I could to explain other issues she was experiencing. I told her how she was able to tell those individuals to back off and to be quiet. Two days later we had to go our separate ways and although I wrote to her I heard nothing more.
Now that's just a story about voices and apparent schizophrenia but it's strange how these 'coincidences' sometimes come about in my life - I'm a long-time Spiritualist by the way and you will find a few postings on this website (and elsewhere) on that and related subjects.
To return to your situation, I have absolutely no understanding of Wicca but I do have a little about psychic / spiritual issues. You mention certain highly important points along with your own reactions. You said
"I did a lot of research about schizophrenia and found that there is almost no chance I am schizo. The voices keep quiet when I am doing something important, if I ask them to leave me alone they do. This is a luxury schizophrenics lack." When voices respond as you describe, it suggests to me that the individuals to whom they belong care very much about you - you suggest that, too, in the previous paragraph when you feel one another's emotions. Absolutely rightly you point out that schizophrenics don't enjoy the luxury of choosing to quieten them.
The aspect of any Wicca connections isn't particularly important to the general principles. The discarnate individuals appear to have your interest at heart and your association with them appears to be getting ever more comfortable. You may indeed have had an involvement in a previous incarnation - that may become ever more evident in time.
I hope that feels relevant and that it may help just a little.
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