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Welcome to Spiritual Forums!.
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09-02-2018, 03:08 PM
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Newbie ;)
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 10
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Meeting soulmate
Hi I met my soulmate in September and we spent 4 amazing months together then she just said she wanted to do her own thing as the timing is wrong and she isn’t ready I was heartbroken and I’m still struggling now and this happened
In December is there any advice on what I should do as I keep making mistakes and making things worse between us
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09-02-2018, 03:28 PM
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Ascender
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 987
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Work on yourself.
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09-02-2018, 03:48 PM
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Master
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 5,806
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in all probability, she's not the only one that can give you that Barton Fink
feeling. i'd advice you to respect her perceptions of the timing being wrong
and just let her go her own way. if you've not managed to make things
antagonistic, nor projected a 'suffocating neediness', you might attempt to
keep the lines of communication open, by inviting her to write/call without
notice, and perhaps write her a note occasionally (no more than monthly).
work on yourself and exude the loving vibrations you're wanting to experience.
the law of attraction will seek to match you with a mate who has a frequency
match to what you give out to the world.
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09-02-2018, 06:50 PM
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Experiencer
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: England
Posts: 268
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Not a lot of information to go off, but perhaps she isn't your soulmate if she wanted to go separate ways? You may feel a good vibe towards her, but it looks like she doesn't feel that vibe, too. Either that or she's reacting on fear by running away, which is very common, but without details it's a tough one.
Firstly, I'd cut yourself some slack and remove self-sabotaging talk. If you've made mistakes that's fine. Learn from them and don't repeat them. We all make mistakes, it doesn't mean you deserve to punish yourself.
If she's not interested, she's not interested. Don't pursue her. Let her breathe as you're probably suffocating her which isn't attractive, dude.
Thing will pan out exactly as they're supposed to. She was brought to you to teach you something. Maybe the right person for you is on her way, but be patient.
Enjoy being alone. Being alone doesn't mean you're unhappy, it's actually an incredible feeling when one is content on their own. Use the time to work on yourself and keep sending yourself love, that's important.
If she gets back in touch, excellent! If she doesn't, that's also excellent!
Welcome to the forum, by the way.
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11-02-2018, 04:14 PM
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Newbie ;)
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OEN34
Not a lot of information to go off, but perhaps she isn't your soulmate if she wanted to go separate ways? You may feel a good vibe towards her, but it looks like she doesn't feel that vibe, too. Either that or she's reacting on fear by running away, which is very common, but without details it's a tough one.
Firstly, I'd cut yourself some slack and remove self-sabotaging talk. If you've made mistakes that's fine. Learn from them and don't repeat them. We all make mistakes, it doesn't mean you deserve to punish yourself.
If she's not interested, she's not interested. Don't pursue her. Let her breathe as you're probably suffocating her which isn't attractive, dude.
Thing will pan out exactly as they're supposed to. She was brought to you to teach you something. Maybe the right person for you is on her way, but be patient.
Enjoy being alone. Being alone doesn't mean you're unhappy, it's actually an incredible feeling when one is content on their own. Use the time to work on yourself and keep sending yourself love, that's important.
If she gets back in touch, excellent! If she doesn't, that's also excellent!
Welcome to the forum, by the way.
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Sorry we were together about 5 months and it was amazing I’ve never had a connection like it the chemistry was indescribable and that was like a deeper connection between us like we had met before previously. We just hit it off on every level, we continued to get closer and more serious. Then I went away too Holland to work for 5 weeks and I can’t describe the feelings I was having we spoke everyday on the phone and she came out to see me for a few days. We had a really good time together . It then snowed and she had to stay for 3 extra days and it meant her missing a few days off work, where she has just started a new role. When she got home she went back to work and she got abit off a telling off and she went cold with me all off a sudden so I phoned her and she was angry with me and that’s when she said we should cool it and do our own thing I was shocked . We spoke abit over Christmas and she wrote me an email to explain her decision just saying it’s nothibg I’ve done but timing is wrong she has too much going on and can’t have distractions. I then met her as friends middle of January and we had a really good time and she kissed me at the end of the night which confused me so I left her for a few weeks again and then she phoned me and we went out. This was a really strange night we had a good catch up she then asked me to stay at hers and I said no because didn’t think was good idea, then she tried to set me up with another girl inside this club where I said no and then after this she kissed me again and asked me to stay at hers which I said yeah but nothing is happening. Then the next day she drove me home to mine and never mentioned any of this and has gone really cold again pushing me away. Thanks for the reply and sorry for the lengthy message !
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11-02-2018, 06:30 PM
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Master
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 2,345
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People come and go. Let them
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11-02-2018, 07:00 PM
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Master
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 5,806
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Danny2790
Sorry we were together about 5 months and it was amazing I’ve never had a connection like it the chemistry was indescribable and that was like a deeper connection between us like we had met before previously. We just hit it off on every level, we continued to get closer and more serious. Then I went away too Holland to work for 5 weeks and I can’t describe the feelings I was having we spoke everyday on the phone and she came out to see me for a few days. We had a really good time together . It then snowed and she had to stay for 3 extra days and it meant her missing a few days off work, where she has just started a new role. When she got home she went back to work and she got abit off a telling off and she went cold with me all off a sudden so I phoned her and she was angry with me and that’s when she said we should cool it and do our own thing I was shocked . We spoke abit over Christmas and she wrote me an email to explain her decision just saying it’s nothibg I’ve done but timing is wrong she has too much going on and can’t have distractions. I then met her as friends middle of January and we had a really good time and she kissed me at the end of the night which confused me so I left her for a few weeks again and then she phoned me and we went out. This was a really strange night we had a good catch up she then asked me to stay at hers and I said no because didn’t think was good idea, then she tried to set me up with another girl inside this club where I said no and then after this she kissed me again and asked me to stay at hers which I said yeah but nothing is happening. Then the next day she drove me home to mine and never mentioned any of this and has gone really cold again pushing me away. Thanks for the reply and sorry for the lengthy message !
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"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." ~ Maya Angelou
i advise you to grant her autonomy in making her personal life decisions.
for her to state that she's not wanting 'distractions' from her busy work
may be a signal (from your subconscious to you) that you're in need of
focusing on your own higher calling... and not falling into servitude for
maintaining a specific relationship which provides you with a 'sugar rush'.
The Killers - Mr. Brightside
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGdGFtwCNBE
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11-02-2018, 07:11 PM
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Experiencer
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: England
Posts: 268
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Danny2790
Sorry we were together about 5 months and it was amazing I’ve never had a connection like it the chemistry was indescribable and that was like a deeper connection between us like we had met before previously. We just hit it off on every level, we continued to get closer and more serious. Then I went away too Holland to work for 5 weeks and I can’t describe the feelings I was having we spoke everyday on the phone and she came out to see me for a few days. We had a really good time together . It then snowed and she had to stay for 3 extra days and it meant her missing a few days off work, where she has just started a new role. When she got home she went back to work and she got abit off a telling off and she went cold with me all off a sudden so I phoned her and she was angry with me and that’s when she said we should cool it and do our own thing I was shocked . We spoke abit over Christmas and she wrote me an email to explain her decision just saying it’s nothibg I’ve done but timing is wrong she has too much going on and can’t have distractions. I then met her as friends middle of January and we had a really good time and she kissed me at the end of the night which confused me so I left her for a few weeks again and then she phoned me and we went out. This was a really strange night we had a good catch up she then asked me to stay at hers and I said no because didn’t think was good idea, then she tried to set me up with another girl inside this club where I said no and then after this she kissed me again and asked me to stay at hers which I said yeah but nothing is happening. Then the next day she drove me home to mine and never mentioned any of this and has gone really cold again pushing me away. Thanks for the reply and sorry for the lengthy message !
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Don't apologise for the length of your message. We're on a forum, we're here to tell people things
Plain and simple, she's playing the push/pull game, my friend. She's unsure of what she wants and she's reacting out of fear, possibly because she's afraid how strong the connection was and her feelings towards you. Perhaps she's been hurt in the past and is clutching on to that - this is quite common.
Either way, she is not emotionally intelligent and this shows in her actions, with the greatest of respect.
The trying to set you up with another girl in a club when she was with you etc - this is a perfect example of fear and the push/pull syndrome.
Leave her to it, IMO. Don't fight for someone who is emotionally unintelligent and acts this way.
Send her love and move on. She'll probably be back in touch soon enough to play the game again; offer you on a night out then go radio silent on you again.
Becomes exhausting after a few times. Nobody got time for that!
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11-02-2018, 07:26 PM
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Experiencer
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 475
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You should take that other girl that she tried to hook you up with. Believe me, it would be the best. Why are you afraid to cut her off? Lack of self confidence?
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