I dont get it.

I`m constantly reading about so many people that go through suffering and depression for years because they choose not to accept the connection and later on they try to 'cut the cord'.

So I`m wondering why ? What exactly is so hard to live with ? Why cant people just accept it regardless of bad aspects and intensity ? and also, why do some turn into runners ?

I really cant seem to understand it properly because in my case, I`d do absolutely anything for the sake of the relationship with my TF, anything at all. I`d quit my job, I`d move to another country, I`d even loose contact with all my friends and family if I had to. I don`t mind the fact that I`m mood changing fairly often, I don`t mind her thoughts invading my brain at times and I also have to mention that the more intense it gets,the better.



Someone enlighten me.

[Saggi]

Why do you have to do anything to be with her?

Love and hugs

Jo

XxXx

Wow. What a nice post. I feel this way too. To me, it is the most magical and mystifying of all possible gifts to be connected to another in this way. Even just knowing such a connection in the first place is vastly better than any friendship or lover I could have imagined before.

However, not all people are "built for intensity." I know in my case, the amount of emotional work, spiritual growth and adaptation, consciousness expansion, and lifestyle changes that have been required to maintain any sense of equilibrium have been staggering and unrelenting. I am still willing, because I personally treasure and value the benefits of these changes in the rest of my life. But even still, I sometimes get overwhelmed with grief as he and I are both married to others. In fact, the intensity between us through eye contact and proximity is so difficult to resist, that we are totally unable to even maintain a casual friendship in the physical world.

See, it just isn't as simple as "drop everything and be together" when you each have families, jobs, homes, responsibilities. My counterpart in this magical experience is not the only person I love and care for. I must also be thoughtful and care for the others in my life. I must care for and respect the very active and vibrant life I have built for myself. Which of us must sacrifice everything for the other? We are both excessively strong willed individuals.

There are probably millions of complications to ponder and not only that, so much of this really seems to be governed by a force greater than me. When I am willing to surrender myself for the cause, circumstances in my life pop up that prevent it. Then, if I get fed up and become unwilling, situations arise to remind me of the profound love. Always held at a perfect and precise distance with no known way to be released or brought together.

My solution is to try to always let go and surrender to the ever-changing current of this relationship. After all, what choice do I have? But I admit- the emotional roller coaster takes me from the depths of despair to the heights of ecstasy and everywhere in between. I have been living like this for more than 5 years now, and he and I barely speak to each other in "real life". It can be maddening to live this intensely when the other person shows no outward signs of feeling anything at all! (Then I have to remind myself that my 'always proper' behavior shows no outward signs to him either.)

Sometimes, when I am not at my best, I accidentally resent him for getting me into this mess. That kind of misplaced anger can really grow exponentially fast and cause a lot of damage. I think anger is a common defense mechanism that humans use to create artificial distance between themselves and others. But it is a poison.

More letting go is the only solution that works consistently. But when a person is in emotional pain, letting go is very often the most elusive option.

[Internal Queries]

oh i tried to "cut the cord" with my imaginary friends. i was okay for a few days. i actually felt rather proud of myself for having "cured" myself of my craziness through shear force of will. yeehaw! no more voices my head! no more silly delusions!

and then i was walking back to the house from the garden and suddenly i felt as if an anvil of despair had been dropped on my head. the emotional impact was so unexpected and intense it brought me to my knees. i just knelt there and wept. then i heard the distant voices of my imaginary friends "please let us back in." well hell, what could i do? spend my life on my knees weeping?

[Nymphea]

Originally Posted by DulcePoetica

Wow. What a nice post. I feel this way too. To me, it is the most magical and mystifying of all possible gifts to be connected to another in this way. Even just knowing such a connection in the first place is vastly better than any friendship or lover I could have imagined before.

However, not all people are "built for intensity." I know in my case, the amount of emotional work, spiritual growth and adaptation, consciousness expansion, and lifestyle changes that have been required to maintain any sense of equilibrium have been staggering and unrelenting. I am still willing, because I personally treasure and value the benefits of these changes in the rest of my life. But even still, I sometimes get overwhelmed with grief as he and I are both married to others. In fact, the intensity between us through eye contact and proximity is so difficult to resist, that we are totally unable to even maintain a casual friendship in the physical world.

See, it just isn't as simple as "drop everything and be together" when you each have families, jobs, homes, responsibilities. My counterpart in this magical experience is not the only person I love and care for. I must also be thoughtful and care for the others in my life. I must care for and respect the very active and vibrant life I have built for myself. Which of us must sacrifice everything for the other? We are both excessively strong willed individuals.

There are probably millions of complications to ponder and not only that, so much of this really seems to be governed by a force greater than me. When I am willing to surrender myself for the cause, circumstances in my life pop up that prevent it. Then, if I get fed up and become unwilling, situations arise to remind me of the profound love. Always held at a perfect and precise distance with no known way to be released or brought together.

My solution is to try to always let go and surrender to the ever-changing current of this relationship. After all, what choice do I have? But I admit- the emotional roller coaster takes me from the depths of despair to the heights of ecstasy and everywhere in between. I have been living like this for more than 5 years now, and he and I barely speak to each other in "real life". It can be maddening to live this intensely when the other person shows no outward signs of feeling anything at all! (Then I have to remind myself that my 'always proper' behavior shows no outward signs to him either.)

Sometimes, when I am not at my best, I accidentally resent him for getting me into this mess. That kind of misplaced anger can really grow exponentially fast and cause a lot of damage. I think anger is a common defense mechanism that humans use to create artificial distance between themselves and others. But it is a poison.

More letting go is the only solution that works consistently. But when a person is in emotional pain, letting go is very often the most elusive option.

OMG, your words are mine! I feel the same about my twinflame and I feel what the topicstarter means, but sometimes you simply cannot leave everything behind and go for the love with your TF. There are more people involved so I cannot be selfish and start a new life with the love of my life. Not yet at least. But I am sure circumstances will change in the future and when my other half is also ready for it, we will come together, no matter how long it will take.

[Spiritlite]

Interesting post and I have no answers for you just reading the replies and giving you my support.
Spiritlite.

I agree, although, I tried to cut the cord when my Twinflame showed up in my life again about 5 years ago.

Cutting the cord depends on your mental state and the knowledge you have. In my experience: at the time I was in a very depressed state and I was fragile. The things I witnessed were too overwhelming for me at that point, and I was on the verge of shattering.
But when I tried to cut the cord my TF would always return with an astronomical amount of force, so with no other options, I felt like I had to let him back in. Also, when this was all happening I had no idea what the term 'Twin Flame' meant, so as far I knew our connection was something that I had made up.

So for me, and for others, it really depends on the knowledge you have. If I had known that everything that was happening, was a normal process for the soul to awaken and the connections between two complete 'strangers' is possible, I would have never put myself through the extended suffering I endured trying to kick him out of my life...but I guess we all need the experience no matter how painful....

Hope this enlightened you enough :P

I believe if its meant to be, you will overcome any obstacle it takes to be with your soul connection because no obstacle will be big enough. You would go to the ends of the earth for them if they asked. You would walk away from family if it was necessary. I believe I have heard my twin's thoughts regarding guilt a family member was putting on him because he wants to return to me and that he said something like, "If YOU want to be a part of my life, you better give her a chance." I can only assume it was coming from him because my own mom has never told me to choose and she wouldn't if she could see that someone truly made me happy.

On the other hand, for those who are married and their situation is a bit more complicated, its NOT that easy to just walk away, no matter how much they might want to. And in this life, they might not be destined to be with their soul connection or such large obstacles would not exist.

Originally Posted by LadyImpreza1111

I believe if its meant to be, you will overcome any obstacle it takes to be with your soul connection because no obstacle will be big enough. You would go to the ends of the earth for them if they asked. You would walk away from family if it was necessary. I believe I have heard my twin's thoughts regarding guilt a family member was putting on him because he wants to return to me and that he said something like, "If YOU want to be a part of my life, you better give her a chance." I can only assume it was coming from him because my own mom has never told me to choose and she wouldn't if she could see that someone truly made me happy.

On the other hand, for those who are married and their situation is a bit more complicated, its NOT that easy to just walk away, no matter how much they might want to. And in this life, they might not be destined to be with their soul connection or such large obstacles would not exist.

Aw Lady, give a gal a break! What do you have against us married folks?? I genuinely think if you were married you would be able to view it differently. Marriage is no bigger an obstacle than thousands of miles or a bad attitude. People get divorced every day for stupid things, why is it so difficult to imagine people would get divorced for such a profound reason as realizing you are sharing your inner sanctuary with a different partner?

Anyone who has experienced the feeling of meeting their divine counterpart knows there is no going back after that. It is not possible to erase that visceral knowledge from your consciousness, so knowing it and then being forced to live the rest of your life without ever 'tasting' it again, that is just mean. Quite simply: cold hearted and punishing. I am just not able to adopt a belief system that suggests that a divine hand would build such an inescapable torture chamber and willfully place unwitting souls into it, sorry.

Instead, I view meeting this person as an introduction to a higher consciousness; an invitation to both of us. It seems to me that any two can be together if they are both willing to make sacrifices and do the work necessary for it to happen. Saying "These obstacles prove it is not meant to be." is too easy a cop out I think. People often blame destiny when they just aren't personally ready to make big changes in their lives.

[MutedBlue]

This connection came into my life over a year ago. It is exactly how you are describing, but it turned out I was manipulated. I met someone who had the ability to make anyone feel like they were that person's twin flame, and I didn't find that out until I was already attached. I could not untangle what was real and what wasn't. It all felt so real. That's how good this person was at making you feel that way. I found this out after I was told of the past relationships who all felt this person was their soulmate.

I still believe in this phenomenon, but how can I get past the distrust of thinking I might meet another person like this again?