My husband...

[Angnix]

My husband is much older than me and always in I'll health. People have suggested I should leave him because it's not fair to me having a sick husband but others say he's a great man because he's never physically or verbally abusive to me. In fact it is me always getting to angry at him and it's been suggested it is because I have to take care of him all the time. He begs me not to ever leave him, but because he is so sick I feel like I have no life. We are moving back to our old town and I want to get connected back with my old best friend and her family and stuff and I hope things get better, but what do you sense about this relationship?

[Inika]

what do you sense about this relationship?

What do you?

[Gem]

Originally Posted by Angnix

My husband is much older than me and always in I'll health. People have suggested I should leave him because it's not fair to me having a sick husband but others say he's a great man because he's never physically or verbally abusive to me. In fact it is me always getting to angry at him and it's been suggested it is because I have to take care of him all the time. He begs me not to ever leave him, but because he is so sick I feel like I have no life. We are moving back to our old town and I want to get connected back with my old best friend and her family and stuff and I hope things get better, but what do you sense about this relationship?

I think you will find things become easier once you move because you'll have the right sort of environment and social supports you need to go through the difficult situation while having a fuller life.

[Ziusudra]

Originally Posted by Angnix

My husband is much older than me and always in I'll health. People have suggested I should leave him because it's not fair to me having a sick husband but others say he's a great man because he's never physically or verbally abusive to me. In fact it is me always getting to angry at him and it's been suggested it is because I have to take care of him all the time. He begs me not to ever leave him, but because he is so sick I feel like I have no life. We are moving back to our old town and I want to get connected back with my old best friend and her family and stuff and I hope things get better, but what do you sense about this relationship?

Several questions come to my mind.
How long have you been married to him?
Do you have children together? if so, what do they say?
Did you know his age when you agreed to marry him?
Was he a healthy man when you married him?
Did he become ill as he aged (natural process)?
Was the marriage your choice?
And...most importantly..
Do you love him?

In my opinion, a marriage with full disclosures (without any unforeseen/surprise neurological, psychological and sexual incompatibility/issues) requires to follow the marriage vows. - Sickness or Health. Richer or poor, etc.. Remember those promises at your wedding?

In fact, what is the point of getting married now days if you can not even count on each other when the chips are down.

Ask yourself, if you are the one who becomes very ill, will he be there for you?

We all become ill and die. Someday, you will be in his shoes as well, just a natural process of physical life.

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by Angnix

My husband is much older than me and always in I'll health. People have suggested I should leave him because it's not fair to me having a sick husband but others say he's a great man because he's never physically or verbally abusive to me. In fact it is me always getting to angry at him and it's been suggested it is because I have to take care of him all the time. He begs me not to ever leave him, but because he is so sick I feel like I have no life. We are moving back to our old town and I want to get connected back with my old best friend and her family and stuff and I hope things get better, but what do you sense about this relationship?

Being a caregiver is stressful. Bless you for helping your husband in his time of need. Remember he cannot help his illness and sounds like he loves you.

My twin flame has a chronic illness and his exwife left him. It devasted him that the woman he married and depended on in his time of need left him at his darkest hour. With my tf back in my life and having cared for my father for years I can relate.

Try to find a local support group (check hospitals) to help you deal, or find an online support group. Try to get family or friends to help so you can get a break. Look into temporary care through a local nursing home or have in home nursing come, and take a vacation to give yourself a break. Try to find friends to go out with a few times a week, and have someone stay with him if he needs that.

With my tf back in my life I live with his illness 24/7 and his is life threatening. I never know when plans may be canceled. I've learned to live in the moment, be happy when he's well, not have expectations.

[hallow]

Originally Posted by Angnix

My husband is much older than me and always in I'll health. People have suggested I should leave him because it's not fair to me having a sick husband but others say he's a great man because he's never physically or verbally abusive to me. In fact it is me always getting to angry at him and it's been suggested it is because I have to take care of him all the time. He begs me not to ever leave him, but because he is so sick I feel like I have no life. We are moving back to our old town and I want to get connected back with my old best friend and her family and stuff and I hope things get better, but what do you sense about this relationship?

I know being a caregiver is extremely tough. I been doing it professionally for 20 years. is he capable of being alone even a few hours a week? If not there's other options. If he is, talk to him!, If you tried that, find an excuse to get out even for a few hours a week. Like a part time job, or volunteer somewhere. He might get upset at first but... Think about this. You'll be able to care for him better because you won't feel as much resentment. In that situation you need your time too!

And if you meet someone then later you too are ill?

[Jatd]

In sickness and Health is what marriage is all about.

When we marry another, we VOW and commit to loving them and caring for them in sickness and health. You gave your word and your heart to this man.
It makes me VERY sad for him to know that you are complaining because you are bored. How unfair. Imagine the shoe on the other foot.
You sound very selfish and it I 100% believe in Karma, what goes around comes around.
Your husband needs you. Love is unconditional. Love is selfless. Love gives up all selfish needs and love does not expect anything in return.
No one said it would be easy. I am not religious but I do believe this is what the saying "Carry your cross" means. We have to carry our burdens and deal with them, and honor and love them!

You can still be married and enjoy time with your friends, or go to the gym, or read books, or join a club, or make crafts, ... you don't have to give your life up simply because your husband is sick.

That being said, if you are holding resentment and treating him badly it sounds to me like he might be better off without someone like you. He deserves better than that.

[Lucky 1]

Originally Posted by Ziusudra

Several questions come to my mind.
How long have you been married to him?
Do you have children together? if so, what do they say?
Did you know his age when you agreed to marry him?
Was he a healthy man when you married him?
Did he become ill as he aged (natural process)?
Was the marriage your choice?
And...most importantly..
Do you love him?

In my opinion, a marriage with full disclosures (without any unforeseen/surprise neurological, psychological and sexual incompatibility/issues) requires to follow the marriage vows. - Sickness or Health. Richer or poor, etc.. Remember those promises at your wedding?

In fact, what is the point of getting married now days if you can not even count on each other when the chips are down.

Ask yourself, if you are the one who becomes very ill, will he be there for you?

We all become ill and die. Someday, you will be in his shoes as well, just a natural process of physical life.

I'd have to agree with this.....

[Lucky 1]

Originally Posted by Jatd

In sickness and Health is what marriage is all about.

When we marry another, we VOW and commit to loving them and caring for them in sickness and health. You gave your word and your heart to this man.
It makes me VERY sad for him to know that you are complaining because you are bored. How unfair. Imagine the shoe on the other foot.
You sound very selfish and it I 100% believe in Karma, what goes around comes around.
Your husband needs you. Love is unconditional. Love is selfless. Love gives up all selfish needs and love does not expect anything in return.
No one said it would be easy. I am not religious but I do believe this is what the saying "Carry your cross" means. We have to carry our burdens and deal with them, and honor and love them!

You can still be married and enjoy time with your friends, or go to the gym, or read books, or join a club, or make crafts, ... you don't have to give your life up simply because your husband is sick.

That being said, if you are holding resentment and treating him badly it sounds to me like he might be better off without someone like you. He deserves better than that.

And with this!

You need to find way to have happiness....get away for what ever time you can and do things you love.

Perhaps find a provider that can be with him when you need a break??? And everyone need s break from time to time.

But running away from your commitment is not right.