I'm the runner, and it sucks.

[Katastrophic]

Are there any other runners on this forum? Most everything I've read is ABOUT the runner, but not usually the runner themselves. If so, what's it like for you? I've read so many chaser stories, and it might not seem like it, but being the runner is just as hard :(. Today's been bad day.

[wednesdayschild]

Originally Posted by Katastrophic

Are there any other runners on this forum? Most everything I've read is ABOUT the runner, but not usually the runner themselves. If so, what's it like for you? I've read so many chaser stories, and it might not seem like it, but being the runner is just as hard :(. Today's been bad day.

Hi Katastrophic, I know you're looking to talk with other 'runners' but I'd be really interested in hearing more about your story, if that's ok with you of course. I always thought I was the 'chaser' but sometimes i feel like I'm the runner! I think that's because my TF has moved so far away and although we talk, he seems to have the 'control' in that it was his choice to go after we came into union, and it's him that will decide when he comes back. I feel like breaking contact sometimes and just running from him because it hurts too much.

[intj123]

Yes there are other runners on this forum, not me though.

The divine masculine and feminine are equal afterall... why should their pain be anything different than equal?


Sometimes roles change too, I'm almost running right now but not really, I just can't see her because I have to fulfill my purpose. But she almost perceived it as running, and was worried I would not come back, but I told her I'd come back.

[hineahuone]

Originally Posted by intj123

Yes there are other runners on this forum, not me though.

The divine masculine and feminine are equal afterall... why should their pain be anything different than equal?


Sometimes roles change too, I'm almost running right now but not really, I just can't see her because I have to fulfill my purpose. But she almost perceived it as running, and was worried I would not come back, but I told her I'd come back.

I was the first to run from my twin. I was blown away by our connection and could not believe I had found someone who made me feel that way. He chased me and I went back and then I ran again. He is cautious now and doesnt chase me too much and when I tell him I need time out he stays away respectfully. I have been listening to advice for the divine feminine as that is what I identify with, but when I listen to divine masculine readings I can identify with that too. So I guess there is balance occurring as I cannot tell who is who now. He has never been the runner as he just stays where he is and waits for me to come back again, so I guess I am the runner, but I am also doing the spiritual work on both of our behalf. I feel that he is doing some work as well.

[intj123]

Originally Posted by hineahuone

I was the first to run from my twin. I was blown away by our connection and could not believe I had found someone who made me feel that way. He chased me and I went back and then I ran again. He is cautious now and doesnt chase me too much and when I tell him I need time out he stays away respectfully. I have been listening to advice for the divine feminine as that is what I identify with, but when I listen to divine masculine readings I can identify with that too. So I guess there is balance occurring as I cannot tell who is who now. He has never been the runner as he just stays where he is and waits for me to come back again, so I guess I am the runner, but I am also doing the spiritual work on both of our behalf. I feel that he is doing some work as well.

Actually she was chasing me the whole time before our bubble. The first time she saw me, she was gawking at me with her friend, going oooooohhhhh!! mmmmm...yummy....(she's much younger than me), she would also always try to get my attention, kind of strutting her stuff as she walked in front of me swinging her hips and stuff.

After the bubble I was the first to run too... I avoided her for 3 weeks and when I came back to hit on her, she was like "3 weeks!!!" in a sad whiney voice. And I just gave her a sorry face, I really missed her too, but it was so confusing and the energy was seriously affecting me for that entire 3 weeks, I was like lovesick....

Then she kind of started disrespecting me and I told her to shut up! lol... yea funny stuff.

But after that she's pretty much been running.

I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but there is a third possibility instead of runner and chaser. It's the middle stayer/waiter, this happens as you balance out, someone might eventually stop running and chasing, they just stay put and try to work things out, and eventually when both balance out and become stayers/waiters/standing your ground then reunion is possible. So he's probably waiting for you.

I think both your tf and me are working our way towards the middle stayer stage. I'm really trying not to chase now, it just makes things worse, I'm just working on my stuff and waiting for her to come around too, I never really chased that hard really. I would just try to stay in contact at least once a month or sometimes every week.

[hineahuone]

Originally Posted by intj123

Actually she was chasing me the whole time before our bubble. The first time she saw me, she was gawking at me with her friend, going oooooohhhhh!! mmmmm...yummy....(she's much younger than me), she would also always try to get my attention, kind of strutting her stuff as she walked in front of me swinging her hips and stuff.

After the bubble I was the first to run too... I avoided her for 3 weeks and when I came back to hit on her, she was like "3 weeks!!!" in a sad whiney voice. And I just gave her a sorry face, I really missed her too, but it was so confusing and the energy was seriously affecting me for that entire 3 weeks, I was like lovesick....

Then she kind of started disrespecting me and I told her to shut up! lol... yea funny stuff.

But after that she's pretty much been running.

I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but there is a third possibility instead of runner and chaser. It's the middle stayer/waiter, this happens as you balance out, someone might eventually stop running and chasing, they just stay put and try to work things out, and eventually when both balance out and become stayers/waiters/standing your ground then reunion is possible. So he's probably waiting for you.

I think both your tf and me are working our way towards the middle stayer stage. I'm really trying not to chase now, it just makes things worse, I'm just working on my stuff and waiting for her to come around too, I never really chased that hard really. I would just try to stay in contact at least once a month or sometimes every week.

That is interesting about the stayer/waiting thing. My twin did go back to his ex gf in the time we were apart and then he contacted me and told me he was kind of back with her so I decided not to see him again, but then I went back again and got my fingers burned. I am standing my ground at the moment. We usually get together on the full moon but this one coming is an eclipse and will be very potent. I am trying to rest just in case I do see him again. I cannot go back to him the way I have been on his terms. He needs to meet me halfway.

[Katastrophic]

Intj, how much younger than you is she? I'm much younger than my TF as well and always am curious about others' age gaps :)

[intj123]

Originally Posted by hineahuone

That is interesting about the stayer/waiting thing. My twin did go back to his ex gf in the time we were apart and then he contacted me and told me he was kind of back with her so I decided not to see him again, but then I went back again and got my fingers burned. I am standing my ground at the moment. We usually get together on the full moon but this one coming is an eclipse and will be very potent. I am trying to rest just in case I do see him again. I cannot go back to him the way I have been on his terms. He needs to meet me halfway.

It's a different type of eclipse coming on Friday and Saturday I believe, and we won't be able to see it from the USA, but other parts of the world can see it, but it's going to be hard to see with the naked eye, they should use binoculars, because it's not a full eclipse, it will be like a dark spot on the moon. Let me check what it's called again.

Penumbral Lunar Eclipse, oh it's also simultaneously a full moon.

[intj123]

Originally Posted by Katastrophic

Intj, how much younger than you is she? I'm much younger than my TF as well and always am curious about others' age gaps :)

10 years, any more and I'd have some serious issues with it. I already did have an issue with it but I'm over it now.
But my parents also have the same difference, so it's not a big deal, it's less of a big deal as you get even older.

I think there is a thread from a few weeks ago where everyone tells their age differences, let me try to find it for you.

Sorry can't find it, but the age difference is common, because this TF relationship is about unconditional love, and age, sex, race, ect. can't get in the way of true love, it's supposed to teach us the meaning of unconditional love, these things are all conditions.

[Katastrophic]

Originally Posted by wednesdayschild

Hi Katastrophic, I know you're looking to talk with other 'runners' but I'd be really interested in hearing more about your story, if that's ok with you of course. I always thought I was the 'chaser' but sometimes i feel like I'm the runner! I think that's because my TF has moved so far away and although we talk, he seems to have the 'control' in that it was his choice to go after we came into union, and it's him that will decide when he comes back. I feel like breaking contact sometimes and just running from him because it hurts too much.

Hey wednesdayschild! I sometimes felt as if I was the chaser as well but I feel I am ultimately the runner. I will say that I currently I work with my TF and it's literally the hardest thing ever. EVER. I've had many people tell me that they would be so grateful to be able to see their TF everyday but to me I feel it's a curse. And I feel bad saying that because he's literally the nicest person on the planet...weird how contradicting that sounds right?? We've had quite a few seperations now and during each one I'm both yearning to see him again while at the same time RELIEVED that I don't have to see him. The connection is too much for me, plain and simple. I can't handle the love, I can't do it. I read all these stories about runners and how to they go on to have "normal" relationships with other people and I GET IT. I love this person more than I have ever loved anyone or could love anyone on this planet, but I just can't bring myself to be open about it or want to experience it. I just can't do it. He tells me just about everyday that he loves me, and I can't bring myself to say it back to him, even though I love him! It's like a block that won't go away. It's like having the most contradicting feelings you could ever feel and I have no idea why I feel them. Every single day I try to find a new job just to GET AWAY but something always happens where it doesn't pan out. Everyday I imagine myself never seeing him again and I feel relieved and sad at the same time.

All I can say is whatever pain the "chaser" feels from their twin running, we feel it just the same. We want nothing more than to be with you but we can't allow ourselves to just let it happen. It's the craziest phenomenon ever but it's true. I wish I could just let it happen :(