Strange feelings towards a significantly older man

[Aquamarine]

Originally Posted by OnceInALifeTime

"
Just thinking about this episode makes me boil inside.

It sounds like he has a way of getting to you, getting under your skin. If he can make you mad he can still have your attention, and he's still drawing your interest. The question is why is he making you mad. You care about your job, I understand that-has your job become over-representative of your self perhaps-I don't know, just thinking out loud. It seems like for some reason he is able to make you mad, and therefore hold your attention. If you can find out what it is-what drives the reaction to him-what is it that you need. Because you don't need him.

[OnceInALifeTime]

Hum. I don't think I need him. I want him, which is a different thing.

I believe your workplace persona and your private life one are not always the same. At work, you are ought to meet targets, thus the aggressiveness. I understand respect is the core element to every kind of relationship, nonetheless, certain people are simply ruthless from a business perspective.

I, too, can be forceful at times. I am never rude or disrespectful though.

When I spoke to him a few times (in person) last year, he seemed like a very nice guy. He asked me a lot of questions about me and to be honest, he didn't seem that bad.

I have enough self-respect and self-control not to jump into any kind of sexual relationship with him. However, I would not mind building a more amicable relationship, just to make the work dynamic more pleasant. He's still going to be rude (which I believe is almost cultural), but at least, if I can learn a bit about how he functions, it might help me out when communicating with him.

[heartsound]

Originally Posted by knightoflenity

Soooo ...are your "chakras" going crazy after this summery ?

*spits out coffee*

[dream jo]

no i dnt i had a big crush onn a techr wen iwz tean i had dreams of us getin 2 gether i no it wud nevr hapen no i dnt judge i dnt

[OnceInALifeTime]

Originally Posted by HeartSound

*spits out coffee*

What's so funny about this?

[Raziel]

Originally Posted by OnceInALifeTime

What's so funny about this?

That's my fault sorry double entendre alert!

[Aquamarine]

Originally Posted by OnceInALifeTime

Hum. I don't think I need him. I want him, which is a different thing.

I believe your workplace persona and your private life one are not always the same. At work, you are ought to meet targets, thus the aggressiveness. I understand respect is the core element to every kind of relationship, nonetheless, certain people are simply ruthless from a business perspective.

I, too, can be forceful at times. I am never rude or disrespectful though.

When I spoke to him a few times (in person) last year, he seemed like a very nice guy. He asked me a lot of questions about me and to be honest, he didn't seem that bad.

I have enough self-respect and self-control not to jump into any kind of sexual relationship with him. However, I would not mind building a more amicable relationship, just to make the work dynamic more pleasant. He's still going to be rude (which I believe is almost cultural), but at least, if I can learn a bit about how he functions, it might help me out when communicating with him.

I understand what you are saying and it makes sense. The thing I'm wondering is where are your feelings? For the most part, your response seems to be coming from your head. In other words, you're talking out of your head, not your heart. That is fine in certain circumstances but this is not one of them. This is a circumstance that involves feelings-you even wrote it in your title.

I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm picking on you, I'm not. I'm not trying to pick on your wording. I'm trying to point something out as it seems to me, the way it seems to me (who knows, perhaps I am seeing it wrong even). But the only way to get through these types of matters is to open up and talk about how it feels, not how you think. This may not be the place that you want to do that, as it might feel too overwhelming but I'd suggest to talk to someone. Again, this is just how I feel lol (sort of a joke there, did you get it?) so please just take it for what it is.

[dream jo]

wen i wz yongr i usd thng oldr men wear sexy i did bt ths wz me in y tean yrs it wz

[Tobi]

It sounds like a mind game to me. A sort of weird flirtation with you, but inclining towards the negative. He might not be literally an "authority" in your business life, but maybe he senses you see him psychologically as an authority archetype? And is using that to flirt with you in this odd way.
He's said quite clearly already more than once, that he wants to go out for drinks with you, so that is almost a 'date' scenario. He's put that on the table so you know he has that interest.
Now I think I would feel wary just as you do, about someone who showed sexual/romantic(?) interest in me yet who seemed to think that the way to my affection was via all those silly mind games. He might be in his 50s but is behaving like an arrogant teenager.
If I were in your position I would behave cordially and business-like towards him, just as I would to all my colleagues, and nothing else.

[OnceInALifeTime]

Today, I spoke to someone who told me he actually praises my work all the time to his colleagues (to my surprise).

From what I was told, he's very immature in the workplace. He cracks lousy jokes all the time and acts like a teenager. Everyone makes fun of him because of his "arrogant" and "childish" ways. He likes attention. Yet, when I worked there for a week last year, never did he crack any jokes.

He's apparently rude to everyone and makes juvenile jokes to every single woman he meets such as "your eyelashes are so long". He likes to show off and is a bit of a player from what I gathered. He supposedly told some girls from work that they could crash at his place if they wanted to. He also complimented his trainee on her lipstick.

I didn't want to tell them he asked me to go out for drinks several times, because it's none of their business.

I haven't seen him yet, but I think he's just trying a bit harder with me because I kept rejecting him and I'm not that accessible. He seems like a player who is bored following his divorce.