Strange feelings towards a significantly older man

[OnceInALifeTime]

Originally Posted by CrystalSong

It has appeared so to me all along.

What's the purpose?

This is what I am trying to comprehend. What is his goal? I mean, it's not like we're dating. There's no point in blowing "hot" and "cold".

I'm having a really hard time grasping the rationale to be honest.

[Clover]

Sounds like a nothing burger, tbh. People are who they are as I stated earlier. The choice is yours if you want to be intact and attuned to his silly quirks/games. Your the creator of your own reality/ blueprint, he is simply playing the role you assigned him.

[OnceInALifeTime]

I didn't assign him any role, nor did I pushed him to ask me questions about my visit.

What role would I be assigning him? He has no role in my life, except from the fact that whenever I have an interaction with him, some strange comes out of it. His role is a colleague, end of. Never did I say I wanted to date him. I know where my limits lie. I would never even entertain the thought of flirting with him.

He's 23 years older. He has a kid. He is a colleague and a higher up. The thought of flirting with him seems inappropriate to me.

I always keep our interactions professional. I've never asked him anything that was not work related.

Honestly, I'd agree if I were the one to be initiating random conversations. However, in this case, my communication with him is strictly professional.

If everytime we interact with someone who seems to be acting in a juvenile way, we're the one instigating this, then everyone is clearly living a pretty passive life filled with spiritual sidestepping.

[Clover]

I am talking about your awareness and perception of this person. In this case, your 'story' here emphasis a 50-something corporate man child as you explained and molded in your writing. This is your experience with the person, and nothing comes into your experience without your personal attraction to it.
This is more about you than him, you do not have control of other people's behavour, but you do have control of your perception and awareness of the situation is all I am saying. It also doesn't hurt to look introspectively on how and why your attitude and emotional energy contributes to why individuals react to you a certain way.

[CrystalSong]

Originally Posted by Clover

I am talking about your awareness and perception of this person. In this case, your 'story' here emphasis a 50-something corporate man child as you explained and molded in your writing. This is your experience with the person, and nothing comes into your experience without your personal attraction to it.
This is more about you than him, you do not have control of other people's behavour, but you do have control of your perception and awareness of the situation is all I am saying. It also doesn't hurt to look introspectively on how/why your attitude and emotional energy contributes to why individuals react to you a certain way.

Agreed Clover, there is an energy here, which keeps this stirred up and won't let it dissipate.
Every time I see this thread popped back up I'm surprised the issue is still lingering. It's being fed energy by our posters continual fascination of it. No doubt the guy feels this too, which keeps him continually poking at it trying to figure out what's going on, what the attraction is.
We know how this stuff works in the great reality construct. Energy goes where attention flows.

OnceInALifeTime you can keep this going with him for a very long time by continuing to feed this fire with your attention and fascination - you don't even have to talk with him to keep his attention on you. Just keep your attention on him as you are doing.
You are unknowingly learning about quantum reality and quantum entanglement.

[blackraven]

OnceInALifeTime - Mutual attraction between two individuals can happen at anytime to anyone. It's what you do with that attraction that defines and reveals many traits of ones character. Just keep in mind that every person coming into a relationship comes forth with their own set of agendas. Even ourselves, so one has to ask him or herself, "Why am I moving forward with pursuing this person I'm attracted to?" I think if one is brutally honest with him or herself in answering this question, the real truth will be revealed. Forget the back and forth game with an individual, figure out the answer to the question.

[Raziel]

OnceInALifeTime - I'm new here but so far the most obvious thing seems to be escaping your attention.

This man wants his way with you - simple.

It sound like there is a part of you that likes the idea of this but another part of you that wants his respect. I wonder if he had been complimentary in the 1st place as far as you work is concerned then perhaps you two may have hooked up by now.

It sounds as though your initial rejection (in his eyes) has resulted in him playing hard to get (just through work politics which is awful). I really can't see this ending well at all. The way you word things & the excuses you make to keep this cat & mouse game going seem to point to you "giving in" but HE gets what he always wanted yet what effort has he ever really made other than offering "drinks" which c'mon leads to the bedroom.

Keep it as a fantasy.

[OnceInALifeTime]

In all fairness, I didn't realize that his invitation last year was anything more than just a friendly one. Thus, when I chose not to show up, I didn't see it as a rejection, simply because there was no "romantic" aspect to it in my view.

However, in hindsight, I understand now his invitation had a different meaning than the one I had assigned to it. Especially now that he reiterated the invitation. I did not connect the dots until I let go of the person I was dating. That's when I understood I was attracted to this man, when I initially discarded it. Then, the rest made sense.

First and foremost, I want him to respect my work. I will not deny the fact that I am highly attracted to him, but I know how to separate the two (which might not be his forte). In no way shape or form am I chasing him despite my attraction. If anything, I try not to let him walk all over me and to be more assertive. It's not game playing, it's me trying to stand my ground. Whenever I have to call him or contact him, it's not to play games. It's work. Never will I mix the two or play such games at work.

How am I giving in? Besides, what else is he supposed to offer for now? It's not like I see him every day.

[Raziel]

Hi again,

You have described yourself a giddy in your interactions with him & IMHO the way in which you write about him is the same.

The cat & mouse aspect is that he invites you out - you reject him knowingly or otherwise. Then you present something to him work wise that he then rejects .... then he tries again for drinks & the cycle continues.

Obviously you know your own life so this is based upon what & how you have written it all on here.

I will say this - you sound amazing, confident, smart but spiritual. Why would you not just view this individual as shallow by now, do you not deserve better than someone who is prepared to toy with your self worth just to get a booty call? Unless you wouldn't mind a booty call but on the condition of him acknowledging you by respecting your work?

Please don't be offended I am in no way judging either of you - after all it is your life & your goals will be different to the next person but as a male I will explain something that most guys won't ..

For a guy the need to be sexual is like needing the toilet, when all of the natural things come into play it is something your body requires to be done. Much like not being able to "go" on a long car journey then you feel relieved once it's done. This is obviously different to intimacy as it is biology not spirituality - if he wants your body - only your body please be aware that there is likely no connection.

The question is what do you want from him? Are you his prize or is he yours or do you wish for more, secretly in your spirit because of the childhood fantasies of "P"?

Again just to clarify you sound amazing - just if you want him to think so then he needs to see it for himself honestly, if he doesn't it's because he doesn't want to.

As someone who has been amongst high powered women often, to me you sound like a rare breed in the fact that your not using sexuality to one up the males but your actual merit & abilities give you confidence. Again if he's not used to that and is essentially punishing you for it why entertain this man with your time personally?

[TheGlow]

wish I could press like on your post knightoflenity