A true disconnect any help would be appreciated!!

Good Morning Family!!! How I have missed you all!!

I posted in my Your Space but wanted to also post here because I feel I have made some close contacts through this specific forum and hello to all the newer members...welcome to a wonderfully loving and accepting place!!

For some,you might have noticed that I have been away for some time. Alot of the reason is because I have felt completely disconnected and didnt feel I had much to offer. I was in a terrible car accident on Nov.12th and 5 days ago I slipped on ice and fell down 2 flights of concrete stairs.Needless to say my body is pretty broken up and I am in alot of pain. As a result the Dr's have given me pain medication. I have experienced this before but for some reason the minute I introduce the meds in2 my system my connection to my Guide, Guardian and Spiritual Team is completely severed. I can no longer see, hear or feel them even though I am aware that they are there behind the scenes working. I just tend to forget to thank them or acknowledge them.

I just feel lost right now. Once you have had such a close relationship with your Spiritual Team and have opened the door it is such a lonely feeling when it is cut off. I question why I was not listening when I had my accident. Rowena told me to go straight home and I didnt listen because I was trying to help a friend in need. If I had gone straight home I wouldnt have had the car accident that totaled my car and injured both myself and the other driver. It was me trying to be in control when I was warned in advance that I MUST go Home at that very Minute!!!

I guess I am asking any of you for some suggestions. The meds keep me cloudy and forgetful but right now I need them. I feel like I am letting so many people down as I recover...and as selfish as this sounds, especially myself. I miss Rowena talking to me and I miss the power I felt when the angels were guiding me....

Any thoughts??