What is reflected is myself?

[Moonglow]

Hello,

As I see you, I see myself.

This popped into my mind. Came across similar versions and have looked at it with in my mind. What does it bring?

Everyone has their own unique style, yet there are times when someone may come across as irritating. He/she irritates something in my thinking. Is it them or is it me?

As I look at these questions find mostly it is me. They provoke a set way of thinking in me. A way I have set up in myself as to how or what is thought it should be. Which at times can be quite humbly.

For that part of my thinking I may not wish to face, so blame the other person or thing. Yet, if the same type of person, thing, and/or event keeps entering my life, then there seems something in me needs to be addressed. Perhaps subconsciously I know this and drawing such in order to bring it to the surface.

Noticed this in the past and notice it now. If it bothers me, it is because it conflicts with what I think it should be.

So, what to do? Bang my head against the wall, continue the "blame game", or look at what it is that needs attention?

Have done the first two and seem to lead to headaches and going around in circles. The third option seems to lead to taking action to change my thinking and seeing that the other (whatever it may be) although not all of or even of my doing is happening and I notice it because it is reflecting back what I need to address or take care of in myself.

It is and has been an interesting thought(s) to notice and by no means noticing this "awareness" does it mean there is no work to be done. Just changes my perspectives on others and life. Brings a little more peace in me.

So, anyone else relate to this?

[Miss Hepburn]

Hi Moonglow,

Reminded me of the old Buddhist story of the monk hanging onto
only a root with 2 mice, a white and a black*, chewing it with
a 1000 foot fall waiting for him and
he says, "Ah, a strawberry!"


* symbolizing dualism, Maya, this world...


As I always say and I have learned, "Nothing is what it seems";
that irritable person annoying me, is my teacher...on top of that
I, myself, created the entire scenario!
How wise Jesus was to tell us not to judge...we can't!
We have no idea what is really going on!

Nothing is what it seems.


Blame another...we are blaming the scenario we created to teach us! Thank that person
for hitting your car and God for creating a brilliant System and giving you
the insight to see into Reality.... ....
That nothing is what it seems.

[Kate Matthews]

Bingo. This is worse for me when it's people close to me and I have to deal with my own self-righteousness.

[Moonglow]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Hi Moonglow,

Reminded me of the old Buddhist story of the monk hanging onto
only a root with 2 mice, a white and a black*, chewing it with
a 1000 foot fall waiting for him and
he says, "Ah, a strawberry!"


* symbolizing dualism, Maya, this world...


As I always say and I have learned, "Nothing is what it seems";
that irritable person annoying me, is my teacher...on top of that
I, myself, created the entire scenario!
How wise Jesus was to tell us not to judge...we can't!
We have no idea what is really going on!

Nothing is what it seems.


Blame another...we are blaming the scenario we created to teach us! Thank that person
for hitting your car and God for creating a brilliant System and giving you
the insight to see into Reality.... ....
That nothing is what it seems.

Hi Miss Hepburn,

The Buddhist story made me laugh, thanks for that.
Some may call it short attention span , but get be grateful for the small gifts.
What will be, will be.

Yes, can understand and often reminded to be grateful.

Don't assume, for I suspect you know what that can do

Yes, ones attitude/perspective can change what life brings and how to live with it.

Can agree "nothing is what it seems" Sometimes have to step back and get a wider view (so to speak).

[Moonglow]

Originally Posted by Kate Matthews

Bingo. This is worse for me when it's people close to me and I have to deal with my own self-righteousness.

Hi Kate Matthews,

Yes, those closest to me can at times be the ones patience is really called for.

At times hearing from them what I need to hear, but may not want to listen to it at the moment. Then later realize they were right.

Other times being understanding of where they are at.

Yes, is humbling at times.

Originally Posted by Moonglow

So, what to do? Bang my head against the wall,

The great thing about banging your head against a brick wall is that it feels good when you stop.

By the way, you are the answer looking for the question. Sorry but I couldn't resist this -
"Dance to your own rhythm and feel it blend with the rhythms of Life."

As Bruce Lee said, "Don't think, feel." And "Be water, my friend."

[Moonglow]

Originally Posted by Greenslade

The great thing about banging your head against a brick wall is that it feels good when you stop.

By the way, you are the answer looking for the question. Sorry but I couldn't resist this -
"Dance to your own rhythm and feel it blend with the rhythms of Life."

As Bruce Lee said, "Don't think, feel." And "Be water, my friend."

Hi Greenslade,

Yeah, does feel good when I stop banging my head.

I don't know if I'm looking for anything in particular. At times try to understand things better or figure out what the next step is, but that's life ain't it?

To be yourself can be tricky at times in a society that seems to want one to step in line. Yet, there is a lot of creative folks out there adding new rhythms to the song and new steps to the dance.

It is interesting to notice this in myself. That when I stop pointing the finger and blaming things, that it is and has been me all along creating the scenario.
Not a negative thing to have this revealed, just a shift in the perspective and in a way empowering.

For the rhythm is life and the dance is however one may choose to express it.
Sometimes partners can show new steps, but it blends into ones own style.

To be Ok and open with that for myself and for others.

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by Moonglow

Hello,

As I see you, I see myself.

This popped into my mind. Came across similar versions and have looked at it with in my mind. What does it bring?

Everyone has their own unique style, yet there are times when someone may come across as irritating. He/she irritates something in my thinking. Is it them or is it me?

As I look at these questions find mostly it is me. They provoke a set way of thinking in me. A way I have set up in myself as to how or what is thought it should be. Which at times can be quite humbly.

For that part of my thinking I may not wish to face, so blame the other person or thing. Yet, if the same type of person, thing, and/or event keeps entering my life, then there seems something in me needs to be addressed. Perhaps subconsciously I know this and drawing such in order to bring it to the surface.

Noticed this in the past and notice it now. If it bothers me, it is because it conflicts with what I think it should be.

So, what to do? Bang my head against the wall, continue the "blame game", or look at what it is that needs attention?

Have done the first two and seem to lead to headaches and going around in circles. The third option seems to lead to taking action to change my thinking and seeing that the other (whatever it may be) although not all of or even of my doing is happening and I notice it because it is reflecting back what I need to address or take care of in myself.

It is and has been an interesting thought(s) to notice and by no means noticing this "awareness" does it mean there is no work to be done. Just changes my perspectives on others and life. Brings a little more peace in me.

So, anyone else relate to this?

Hi Moonglow. What you describe sounds like the "mirror effect". I think to be able to look at others as you look at your own self takes a lot of maturity and grow in life. One has to be willing to analyze ones own inner workings of their emotional life to be able to look at others the same in my opinion. What comes to mind for me is a long-standing situation I found myself in for nearly 20 years. Another person hurt me and my family life in a way that had a lasting negative effect on our livelihood. But when my son got married a few years ago, he invited this person to the wedding. I decided to rise to the occasion and put my avoidance of this individual behind me at least temporarily. But when I saw this person for some odd reason I felt happy and a sense of relief. I later went home and thought about the encounter and realized he wasn't the big bad wolf that I had made out to be for years. I also asked myself, "Has he carried the same level of resentment for me all these years or has he been living his life without giving me so much as a thought." I also asked myself, "Would I want another individual being so judgmental of me to the point of cutting me out of his/her life?" (which has happened to me more times than I care to say).

I had a aha moment that release all the heavy weight I was carrying around for years. Then I started analyzing my attitudes and tried to figure out if it was me that pushed others away from me throughout my life or them? When it comes down to it, it really doesn't matter who did the pushing, because in the end we're all a reflection of each other. Somewhere deep down inside I believe what irritates me about another are just those features in myself I repress and don't like. If I constantly attract people that judge me and leave, what is it about myself that contributes to that?

That's why I say it takes a great degree of emotional maturity along with a healthy self esteem to just accept others just the way they are and then it is likely they will do the same back.

Well that's my story and my understanding of what this thread is about from my own perspective.

[Moonglow]

Originally Posted by blackraven

Hi Moonglow. What you describe sounds like the "mirror effect". I think to be able to look at others as you look at your own self takes a lot of maturity and grow in life. One has to be willing to analyze ones own inner workings of their emotional life to be able to look at others the same in my opinion. What comes to mind for me is a long-standing situation I found myself in for nearly 20 years. Another person hurt me and my family life in a way that had a lasting negative effect on our livelihood. But when my son got married a few years ago, he invited this person to the wedding. I decided to rise to the occasion and put my avoidance of this individual behind me at least temporarily. But when I saw this person for some odd reason I felt happy and a sense of relief. I later went home and thought about the encounter and realized he wasn't the big bad wolf that I had made out to be for years. I also asked myself, "Has he carried the same level of resentment for me all these years or has he been living his life without giving me so much as a thought." I also asked myself, "Would I want another individual being so judgmental of me to the point of cutting me out of his/her life?" (which has happened to me more times than I care to say).

I had a aha moment that release all the heavy weight I was carrying around for years. Then I started analyzing my attitudes and tried to figure out if it was me that pushed others away from me throughout my life or them? When it comes down to it, it really doesn't matter who did the pushing, because in the end we're all a reflection of each other. Somewhere deep down inside I believe what irritates me about another are just those features in myself I repress and don't like. If I constantly attract people that judge me and leave, what is it about myself that contributes to that?

That's why I say it takes a great degree of emotional maturity along with a healthy self esteem to just accept others just the way they are and then it is likely they will do the same back.

Well that's my story and my understanding of what this thread is about from my own perspective.

Hi blackraven,

Thank you for sharing your experience.

Can relate to the "pushing away" of others. Sometimes feel needed at the time for possibly protecting myself. But then he/she is away from me, so why did I still hang onto the need to protect? And the wall goes up. In the end letting the person truly go and in the process setting myself free.

People change and come and go. It is interesting what the mind may hold. Some one may be away for years and in the mind are held in the moments he/she was last seen or known. Wonder and would suspect the same goes for the oth.

I have grown and changed in many ways and through this find more security in who I am. Through this find more acceptance of who I am and willingness to accept my actions. Feel this leads more and more into accepting others.

For feel if one does not have in him/her to give or doesn't know it is there, then how can it be seen in others or accepted?

Not saying have to agree with everyone or take it when someone is abusive, just to see what it brings/brought and take from there.

If we give others a break, I think may indicate to do same for ourselves. It took me quite awhile to grasp this and now more willing to ease up on myself. And the funny thing is people have noticed the change in how more relaxed I am.

Yes, we all play a part in life.

Well, expressing some thoughts on how I am relating to this.

[Sarian]

I remember when I first met my boyfriend. I was going through a rough period in my life and I used to drive him nuts. He would point out all the things about me that were pretty much irritating him. He was kind at first, but the longer you know someone, they will tell you what drives them nuts. Sometimes I would feel hurt but I always listened because I did not want to be irritating. I went deep to find out why I did the things I did and I didn't like them either so I was going to change them/fix myself pretty much. I've known him nearly 20 years...and WOW, it's like he has turned into what I used to be. I tell him he's mirroring all the things about me he didn't like (but has in himself) I think to myself wow, I knew I could get bad but how could I even stand myself then Hahaha. They've fallen off me but now I have to deal with it in him. lol...but I am not at all needy like I once was and I don't even understand why I was needy in the first place since I never was until I met him. Sometimes he seems upset that I don't need him. I love him but I don't need him....I like being on my own really.

Forgot to add that the good things about us that we both love about each other (and is the glue keeping us together)...is that the good things we love about each other, we both share.