Twin flame or soul mate, who do I choose??

[Cosmicheart]

Hi, I was drawn in by the amount of people with such insight and personal experience of twin flames on here, I just had to become a member! I've had to experience it's intensity alone as anyone who has or is going through it knows, that anyone who hasn't gone through it does not get it and doesn't understand that it's not a choice, you can physically walk away, but never in your heart. So here you all are! You get it! Thank you.

Most of you know the indescribable love that comes with a twin flame but also the intense fear it brings up of allowing it to be! Hence we have been on and off for nearly 3 yrs. Just when we get to a breakthrough, one of us pushes the other away. Long story short, my ex (soul mate) came back into my life towards the end of last year, leading me to make a decision between the two. I love them both but in such different ways- I have a comfort that I have never had with my soulmate, the relationship is so warm and loving. But I literally glow with ecstatic bliss with my TF, when things are right, when they're not, I'm in the Pitts of hell.

I made the decision that I was going to give my soul mate a go last year. He lived on the other side of the world and was willing to drop everything and move over. Meanwhile, my twin flame didn't take the news well and we had a big falling out. Then, SM and I started making plans and the poor guy got sick twice, was in hospital for weeks at a time and our plans were getting delayed over and over for other reasons too. It felt like something was preventing us from coming together. I put the brakes on thinking I was in such a dark place, I just couldn't do it. Now, we are discussing the same thing (coming back together)

I so desperately want to move forward with my life, I know I will never be the same or love the same but I want to feel happy again and SM makes me happy.

I'm terrified of the very likely possibility of TF strolling back in and making me weak at the knees and melting my heart and if I move forward with SM that I would hurt him in the process. I'm terrified of waiting for TW forever.

Any guidance from you wise people would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks for reading my essay!

[Zero]

Well if both offered to move to you, who would you want to be with? If the answer is who you refer to as your twin flame, then you shouldn't waste the person who you refer to as your soul mate's time. This sounds like a messy situation and you perhaps need some space away from both of them so that you can see clearly.

It is a tough choice, but it does have to be made. I find it interesting that when you and your soulmate were trying to come together, the universe prevented it....have you had any of the same thing happen with your TF? If you sincerely ask the universe for guidance, it usually clears the path for the direction you need to go in.
Leaving both of them hanging is unfair to them, and unfair to yourself. ...

What I've seen being written about TF's here somehow doesn't seem right, so I would be hessitant in taking that for granted.

That being said I don't think you have met your TF. If not ready the universe would make for a reason that I cannot happen. If you would be ready, there would be no obstackles in the way.
Not saying that he couldn't be your TF, but chances are unlikely that you are meant to be together in this life.

wow been in this situation so dont know if this will help...

your soulmate is your karmic bond (secular and emotional energy) and your twin flame is your divine bond (sacred and causal energy).

karmic bonds have a lot of twin elements but not all the bits to make you complete.

twins are hard work. but you need to ask yourself some questions.

did you choose karmic bond for an escape to avoid that hard work and evolution opportunity which is tf?

do you have self worthiness or self esteem issues about recieving real love despite it not being what you imagine it should be like (as for example, conditioned to us in fairytales)?

why does the karmic bond keep coming back in the cycle its in?

what does the karmic bond show you by coming back, that you need to address, cleanse and heal yourself from? (hint- usually its a past life karmic debt that is repetitive in your association with the soulmate and doesnt necessarily mean a physical reason, it could be a mental vibrational reason, so psychology)

what are soulmates really for? are they there as a opportunity or are they there as teachers with a lesson?

noone can tell you want is the right thing, I mean I can see clearly by experience and open akashic records what the truth is for you, but the thing is here, it is a lesson for you to discriminate your needs vs your wants by means of your value and belief systems.

I personally know what is the better higher good resolution but you need to consciously acknowledge your understanding of that for yourself so as to grow from it.

twin flames are about work, not necessarily about textbook romantic happily ever afters (and this is where the whole twin flame propoganda misconception lies), but the passage you share with a tf is far more rewarding and stable long term and can be anything you allow it to be, if you stick with it long enough (remembering its not the destination but the journey which is important).

there is a reason for this too, its because nothing worthwhile is ever just given, it is earnt.

you need to make a list of your history with either people, then draw up a pro and con list for both and not only look for cycles in both positive and negative aspects but also make a list of your own truthful needs (not wants!) and see who is better matched.

romance, thrills and excitement can be given to you by either party, which is currently by what you say, is what you are responding to. these things are illusionary, or not needs but wants.

so when you work all this out, you will understand the difference between a karmic bond (cycles and illusions/truths) with soulmates in comparison with the twin flame.

soulmates are teachers and catalysts - friends who come in to not trigger our fears but can get close enough to teach us a lesson about ourselves or something we need to resolve from our akasha in order to evolve.

sometimes also soulmates return to feed off us, and know the triggers to press to make that happen.

I mean if you would like to elaborate on some details we could walk through this step by step in discussion if you like.

but this soulmate isnt going to stick around long term, so what is your greater good needing? a distraction, an escape that is the soulmate or stability and comfort and companionship which is work but reliable long term?

are you feeling happy with soulmate because you feel needed (cause they know how to trigger that in you), especially while sick (feeding)? does the fact he wants to make a grand gesture of moving to you make you feel worthy when youre feeling low or because he wants something from you? this is excitement and thrills, but not necessarily love.

one thing to be aware of is, while tf's do at time clash and also blend well, the tf still lets you be your own person with unconditional love whilst the soulmate does tend to consume because there is always a reason for something seemingly so granduer and exciting.

And there is a reason for him being your ex. Have you forgotten why you both became ex's to each other in the first place? (hint - this may be the cycle needing to break by having the strong will and self discipline to not habitually return to soulmate and endure the cycles that lead to another break up?)

also ask yourself what really makes you happy in your soul, not what you think makes you happy in your mind.

what is the definition of true happiness for you?

if you had new skills and new insights to help you manage your tf relationship, would you still run to soulmate because hes familiar, a cycle of habit and giving a bit of a thrill by showing some short term and flamboyant interest to distract you and escape from investing in your more stable (although hard work) relationship?

its interesting you are shown two alternative and need to make a choice. are you ready to commit to your own self evolution of truth or escape in the rut of illusion....

you are worthy and now able to have real love, and when you work on this instead of running away from it, you will grow as a person and with it so does true happiness. if its excitement and thrill you need, well some counselling will help you and tf find that common ground. sometimes its easy in the whole tf work process to forget to introduce some fun, thrills and excitement to break up the intense melding that needs to be done....

(sorry if i sound blunt, dont mean to be, i just am direct these days due to my clearing of illusion processes but I mean all in love and peace :S)

[Cosmicheart]

Thank for taking the time to respond.

Zero, it is messy! In an ideal world I would choose TF but at this stage, that's not on offer and I don't want to stay in this state I'm in any longer. I also want to make sure I honor my SM in the process, so it's tough!

Stingray, I didn't want to go into too much detail about how I know that one is my twin flame and the other is my soul mate, it would just take too long and that's not the issue in question, but they are exactly those things. Although you might be right about me and my twin flame not being together in this life, who knows!

Singalong, wow! You really are in tune! You hit so many things on the head. Things that I am subtly aware of but as you know, when you are caught up in it, it's very hard to see clearly! Thank you. Even your choice of words were intuitive. I'm very interested in your akashic record insight!

My soulmate does make me happy, but only temporarily. As soon as I'm off the phone to him (he still lives overseas) I'm back to thinking about my twin flame. I wonder what it would be like if I did get back together with my SM and when I do, my heart screams no! I feel like he's my safety blanket and I don't know if that's a good thing.

Before TF came in to my life, SM the one 'that got away' I thought. The one I'd let go that was right for me and if it was on offer to get back together then, I would have jumped at the chance in a heartbeat. Now things are so different.

Sesheta, I find that interesting too! That it seems the universe prevents us from coming together! It doesn't happen with TF only, the fear is so strong and challenging for both of us that when the opportunity arises to come together, we both run a mile! I can't count the amount of times I have surrendered this to the universe but you are right, it's the only answer here and to trust and have faith.

I'm a reader, and in the last few years I'm seeing an increasing amount of twin flames crossing paths. I really believe this is the grand shift all the prophets have been talking about because when twin flames come together, the love that radiates, vibrates thru the whole universe! And when enough come together, boy this planet will be a beautiful place to live in! Collectively we will be making heart based decisions opposed to the current collective ego based decisions!

But boy it's challenging to get there! Tricky ;)

Originally Posted by Cosmicheart

Thank for taking the time to respond.


My soulmate does make me happy, but only temporarily. As soon as I'm off the phone to him (he still lives overseas) I'm back to thinking about my twin flame. I wonder what it would be like if I did get back together with my SM and when I do, my heart screams no! I feel like he's my safety blanket and I don't know if that's a good thing.

you said this....

the last sentence is especially important. because, you are basically admitting that he is a safety blanket. i.e. he is familiar and known, but doesnt mean that he is automatically the best thing for your greater good.

listen to your heart over your mind always with soulmates vs tf

good going

[Cosmicheart]

You are so right singalong! I know this but it's the fear that it won't happen with my TF this life and I will remain alone and I don't think humans are meant to be alone.it's a question of If I can find semi happiness and companionship with someone else and I would like to have more children too (I have one) should I take it?

Surrender and trust is the only answer I think!

You said earlier-" I mean I can see clearly by experience and open akashic records what the truth is for you,"
Please share it with me! I am very interested in your insight :) the answer to a lot of your questions is yes!

Also, I'm curious, you said you had been in the same situation, how similar and how did it turn out?

i didnt read lots of the replies, but i am leaning more towards SF, you yourself said he makes you happy, the way you describe TF, your relationship sounds erratic, from one extreme to the other, and although prehaps at the time it is exciting, even passionate sometimes......this passion however will lessen as time moves one, it is a known fact in all relationships, lust lessesns (not dispears) but as a relationship grows, one develops a more companion bond with the person. Now the question you have to ask yourself is, do you see SF as a companion, or TF as a companion.?

[Cosmicheart]

Originally Posted by Tammy

i didnt read lots of the replies, but i am leaning more towards SF, you yourself said he makes you happy, the way you describe TF, your relationship sounds erratic, from one extreme to the other, and although prehaps at the time it is exciting, even passionate sometimes......this passion however will lessen as time moves one, it is a known fact in all relationships, lust lessesns (not dispears) but as a relationship grows, one develops a more companion bond with the person. Now the question you have to ask yourself is, do you see SF as a companion, or TF as a companion.?

Thanks Tammy. So good to get all these different perspectives. You are right with your description of both. Although I do feel there is more potential for growth in me as a person with TF because of that very turbulence. The comfort with SM is so warm and loving but doesn't motivate me to be the best person I can be because I'm so comfortable!

I think I just need to keep handing this one up and meanwhile, as krystalle said, focus on my own happiness!