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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Spirituality

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  #31  
Old 27-11-2019, 03:13 PM
hazada guess hazada guess is offline
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Excellent post,Miss Hepburn.
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  #32  
Old 28-11-2019, 02:45 AM
paragon paragon is offline
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Thank you very much Miss Hepburn for your excellent and kind post.

What you wrote about getting what we need is basically what I was alluding to by suggesting that I was on a spiritual abandonment path. There definitely appears to be some kind of humility lesson associated with it. It's constantly humbling and humiliating to be completely incapable of all the things I feel passionately compelled and intellectually over-equipped to do. e.g. When I wrote about being severely socially phobic everyone probably imagined someone sitting in a dark basement wearing a superman t-shirt surrounded by empty coke bottles. Whereas I actually look like someone you'd expect to be full of confidence. Very humiliating and leads to lots of "what the HECK's up with HIM?" responses from women.

So the next thing I'm trying to figure out then is, how much of our lives are we actually in control of through our thoughts and actions etc. and how much is "fate" determined by the circumstances we agreed to before we came here and the situations that are sent our way to test us? Possibly my next thread... but then I think I'll just get 99% answers telling me that our reality is completely controlled by our thoughts. Which I really don't agree with - the idea that the circumstances of my life are determined in any significant way by the random chatter of my scattered mind seems illogical and actually quite nihilistic to me.

Anyway, thanks for the bible passages - I like your idea and I will give it a go.
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  #33  
Old 28-11-2019, 06:12 PM
green1 green1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paragon
... but I also have crippling social anxiety and fear of everything, hence the need to chase effective healing.

Have you tried animal therapy, like with a dog? This may change your life.

green1
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  #34  
Old 28-11-2019, 06:38 PM
iamthat iamthat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paragon
... I also have crippling social anxiety and fear of everything, hence the need to chase effective healings.

What is the original cause of this crippling social anxiety and fear? Was there some childhood trauma? Are you suppressing deep childhood pain?

The most effective healing is to go back to the original cause and release whatever needs to be released. Other healings may help you to cope in daily life, but without resolving the cause then you are only papering over the cracks.

Peace
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  #35  
Old 28-11-2019, 09:15 PM
paragon paragon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by green1
Have you tried animal therapy, like with a dog? This may change your life.

green1

I have not heard of that nor tried that. Thank you for the suggestion.
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  #36  
Old 28-11-2019, 09:18 PM
paragon paragon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iamthat
What is the original cause of this crippling social anxiety and fear? Was there some childhood trauma? Are you suppressing deep childhood pain?

The most effective healing is to go back to the original cause and release whatever needs to be released. Other healings may help you to cope in daily life, but without resolving the cause then you are only papering over the cracks.

Peace

I've already spent years and thousands of dollars trying all that. Nothing works permanently. Before that I tried psychiatrists, who didn't even work temporarily.
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  #37  
Old 29-11-2019, 10:25 AM
Greenslade Greenslade is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paragon
So the next thing I'm trying to figure out then is, how much of our lives are we actually in control of through our thoughts and actions etc. and how much is "fate" determined by the circumstances we agreed to before we came here and the situations that are sent our way to test us? Possibly my next thread... but then I think I'll just get 99% answers telling me that our reality is completely controlled by our thoughts. Which I really don't agree with - the idea that the circumstances of my life are determined in any significant way by the random chatter of my scattered mind seems illogical and actually quite nihilistic to me.
Google for Natalie Sudman because she gives an experiential account rather than a Spirituall one. Life's Purpose is what you agreed to and this plane of existence is how you experience it, essentially. I'd think that this is all a part of your Life's Purpose but it's how you experience it that's optional/Free Will. Of course you can also do the disgruntled "I didn't sign up for this suffering" that often comes along with it.


Your answers all all internal and your intellectual mind is looking for external ones, and only you can find therm. This is the reason nothing has made much sense yet, and the Michael teachings on Soul Age explain your feelings of Spiritual abandonment.
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"Take your legacy and understand what has gone before. Make a new tomorrow in Love, Light and Faith."
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  #38  
Old 29-11-2019, 10:31 AM
Altair Altair is offline
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Humans are all suffering, not because of some rebellion against the gods but because we happen to have self awareness and can conceptualize our suffering. If a boy grows up among wolves would he be like that? Probably not to the same extent. I reckon much of our suffering would also look quite differently if we didn't have language.

I don't think it's ''right'' or nice to say people suffer because they ''chose it'' though, due to some *karma* or *soul contract*. It's easy to say such things in the anonymity of the internet but is that what you will say to a child who loses his parents? Or to someone with cancer? ''Oooh sorry, but you CHOSE to suffer. It's your karma.'' I mean seriously... I very much doubt any karma believer is going to say that to anyone face-to-face.

Quote:
Originally Posted by paragon
I've already spent years and thousands of dollars trying all that. Nothing works permanently. Before that I tried psychiatrists, who didn't even work temporarily.

That's right, because change is the only constant.
Some people have it easier than others, it's called genetics and environment..

You can change your environment to various degrees. Perhaps it can be helpful to focus on that and less so on spending big money on psychologists and self-help guru's. For some people a few hours of exercise does more wonders than a chat. Not to say you can't do both, but spending thousands of dollars just to fix some psychological issue may not be only solution.

Many people in modern society increasingly need psychologists to talk to because of how the environment has changed.
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  #39  
Old 23-12-2019, 05:04 PM
sea-dove sea-dove is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paragon
HARD AGREE.

I think self-love is the biggest issue here. I think if I were able to cultivate self-love then pretty much everything else I mentioned would follow. So, essentially what I'm trying to figure out here is why my self love has not budged one nanometre since I started doing this work over 2 years ago.


What are the things you are doing to nurture self love? I'd like to hear so I maybe can offer some suggestions.

You say you tried everything but not getting anywhere .. there is so many different ways though to develop this and I can say for a fact that you haven't tried them all.
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  #40  
Old 07-01-2020, 03:04 PM
7luminaries 7luminaries is offline
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Hello there paragon, first I'm so sorry for your trouble and your recent loss. I'm going to speak from a practical standpoint, to share more on what others have already said. Regarding how you may frame your journey and engage more consciously in your own healing (which I see very broadly as walking your path consciously).

Doing and being are always mutually causal. So to be, we do. And to do, we be (LOL).

Being is a particular challenge for those with depression, anxiety, or low mood generally. It is a spiritual challenge, a burden that you must shoulder. But it is doable. And the roots of it may very much be found in past lives as well as from childhood or family predisposition (as Shivani noted). But looking to past lives is something that unfolds on your path and you can always come back to further study of this after you've found your footing in your present life.

So...be kind on yourself and recognise that this is a long-term daily challenge and not a one-and-done. Also, it's best to do away with the notion that awakening, clarity, and spiritual progress will fix your mood to perma-high, though certainly you may learn how to better manage it and access or be with the sublime joy of being. What a relief to free yourself from the burden of having to be a certain way in each moment to ascertain spiritual progress

Being with yourself with intentional presence and clarity and acceptance in the moment IS the sublime joy of being...this will become ever clearer over time. It is the simple product of being with your centre and living from there. And there is a great and profound beauty in being with yourself in each moment, and attending to all that you are and experience, including what we may normally feel is bad, or painful, or uncomfortable, or weak, or negative, or dreaded or shameful. These aspects of self are really just aspects of divine love, helping point us to what needs tending and what is imbalanced in our lives.


Now...to the doing.
This is where you can mould your character and your efforts are not bounded by whether today or this year you feel particularly low. You can commit to conscious living and build your character and rest of this whilst you tend to your mood and to self-care. To start, it's just as I noted above. Being with yourself and accepting yourself and your feelings and experiences as they are. You can manage some of the burden of being through doing ...and through doing, you build respect and regard for your character (your being), which is foundational to healthy self-love.

And beyond that, it is as Jyotir and others have said...it's about committing to being with yourself in all that you do and say. This means taking conscious decisions in the moment -- certainly for what you do and say day-to-day and for how you live your life. Taking full ownership for your choices and (this is key) for your intentions and your thoughts, as well. This is the path of sacred work...it is all you do and all you are, reflected in your conscious commitment to your path in each moment as you engage with yourself and the world.

Here's a really commonplace example to make the point: pre-awakening, approaching most social relationships (of any kind) as ultimately amoral and utilitarian. On how they serve you.

E.g.,: If a man: we "mutually agree" to a relationship (which I obtain primarily for my sexual use of another) and my intention is irrelevant. I always obtain mutual agreement. Birth control is on her, as are any terminations coz I didn't sign on for that and it's about my convenience. Emotional engagement is not on the table because I issue "disclaimers" from the start that I am not about commitment long-term. We are each individuals and owe nothing to anyone aside from what I have set forth as the "terms of engagement" of this relationship, which provides me with exclusive sexual rights to my partner so long as I see fit. (Here, the entire unstated premise is that another human being exists purely for your momentary or repeated use and discard. This underscored modern discussions of privilege and hierarchy and extreme exploitation in the area of "partner" "relationships", itself a hard-core euphemism in this context).

Post-awakening, there is a recognition that amoral utilitarianism is fundamentally misaligned as it is dehumanising and does not allow for the mutual fullness of our humanity. In any relationship (fam, friend, partner, neighbour, stranger, etc). That is, boundaries and responsibilities may of course vary with the exact relationship, but that the only valid way of relating to anyone in any relationship is from a position of authentic love (lovingkindness and equanimity), which actively seeks and supports the highest good of the other(s) equally to the self. And the highest good of the self, equally to the other(s).

AND...that we as human beings need authentic love in ALL our relationships...be they fam, friend, partner, neighbour, stranger, etc. No cherry-picking, LOL.

So post-awakening: my intention in any relationship or exchange is central and paramount. If, e.g., I sexually engage with another without consideration of his or her highest good, I am dehumanising and dishonouring them. Regardless whether they have "mutually consented" to a "relationship", which BTW they may define very differently from me (i.e., perhaps as not purely for sexual and casual engagement, or perhaps as not limited to that long-term or even at all, or perhaps that all "conditions" are null and void once physical intimacy obtains, etc., etc.). We cannot know the intentions of another, only our own, and that is what we are responsible for in the moment with all our words and all our deeds.

So, it is not the intention or understanding of another OR their professed "mutual consent" that excuses or condones my behaviour...as they cannot do that for me. I and only I know my intention and whether or not my intention toward another is right-aligned toward both self AND other(s) -- or whether it is misaligned (in service to self), in order to exploit the body, the health, and perhaps the emotions and hopes of other(s). I make the choice to engage or do or act a certain way with another person, and the alignment of my words and deeds are what define my character -- not legalese or mainstream cultural norms. And not whether I can con, mislead, coerce, or force another into doing my bidding at the expense of their own highest good, whilst still absolving myself of criminal charges in a court of law (LOL). Remember, it continues to be normative to exploit, degrade, discriminate, and persecute designated groups...and even to murder and rape your neighbours of many years during mad periods of civil war all round the globe. Cultural norms are ultimately useless as guideposts unless they align with authentic love in being and doing. And thus they cannot be used to justify or absolve misaligned behaviour, which does not equally consider the highest good of others and self.

Point being, if you have committed to the path of conscious living and conscious service, that is among the most critical of steps. And you can find great peace and affirmation in living consciously, knowing you are actively forging the mettle (metal) of your soul in each moment.

Peace & blessings
7L
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Bound by conventions, people tend to reach for what is easy.

Here we must be unafraid of what is difficult.

For all living beings in nature must unfold in their particular way

and become themselves despite all opposition.

-- Rainer Maria Rilke
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