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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Spiritual Development

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  #21  
Old 31-10-2014, 10:08 PM
yumi14
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I see the point of just letting him be. However, he is happy that I have found God and spirituality and truly expresses the desire to do the same himself.

His life, the way it is now is not working for him. He is not at peace with his beliefs. He hungers for more and continues on with his searching.

I'm scared for him. I feel that if he doesn't find peace, it will ultimately destroy him and I don't want that to happen. I don't want to give up on him nor do I want to push my beliefs at the same time. I've gently introduced topics for him to explore, but I feel like he needs more thanwwhat I'm suggesting. I'm at a loss.

He is not at peace with atheism. That is what I'm trying to say. He wants more. I'm not sure how to help him find more. If he were at peace with it, I wouldn't be so worried. Atheism itself seems to make him want to be gone from life. Yes, he has seen a doctor for depression. He needs more.
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  #22  
Old 01-11-2014, 07:36 AM
RedEmbers RedEmbers is offline
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It almost sounds almost like a dark night of the soul... perhaps he is on the brink of a transformation.

You can only do your best and it sounds like you are a very loving friend.

Perhaps if he is open to it some form of energy work (with a professional) could help him.

I know that it is very cliche but meditation really helped me with my thoughts and the mental fog.

When I began I made sure that I was in a safe and supportive environment because at first it opened up alot of things which needed clearing.

Some basic reiki like self healing helped me through the process as well.

Even if he does not find a version of god which resonates with him... hopefully he will still find a place of deeper connection with something.

My place was with the natural world... that was my key to the kingdom... out amongst the trees and the ocean ... and slowly the connection has expanded... for some it could even be a sport... I was watching a doco about a group of men who found their connection through boxing.

I still don't believe in god... but I do feel a connection... a part of the whole.

I wish you both the very best.
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"We are that to which we pray"... Jewel.
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  #23  
Old 01-11-2014, 09:07 AM
Megamedes
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yumi14
His life, the way it is now is not working for him. He is not at peace with his beliefs. He hungers for more and continues on with his searching.

For me it seem like he expresses the desire to find the same meaning and joy with life as you are expressing. He sees where you have found it, and figure that is the natural place to look. My point is that, since he is not finding it in those place you are showing him, then maybe you both are looking in the wrong places. He sounds like a thinker the way you described him, that was kind of why I suggested philosophy rather than spirituality.
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  #24  
Old 01-11-2014, 10:59 AM
knightofalbion knightofalbion is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yumi14
I have a friend who I met online. We've never met in person, but talk on the phone from time to time. We really connect and get each other on many levels and there is a comfort between us that makes talking about life rather easy.

The only thing that I can't seem to do is to break thru to him about God and spirituality.

The kicker is he has invested a good part of his life exploring various religions and whatnot, but he maintains that he is an atheist despite all of the research.

He is very intelligent and genuinely wants to find God, but he has these road blocks up.

He is so disillusioned with life and feels it is futile. This scares me.

How does one break thru to an atheist who believes we are just randomly born animals stuck on a prison planet and then we die and there is nothing beyond it?

I have suggested topics for him to explore, YouTube videos to watch, but he doesn't seem interested despite his deep yearning to find God.

Does anyone know how I can next approach him? Things to say?

I wouldn't ask this if I thought he was a lost cause, because he does put in the work to research. Although studying just religion itself won't get him too far in this case. I do think his knowledge of doctrines will be an asset down the line when he opens his mind to spirituality in general.

For me, it had to go beyond religious doctrine and exploring so many things outside of those texts that helped me get to the place that I am today with my own beliefs. But, what works for one person might not work for another.

He is fed up with life so badly that he contemplates suicide and I just don't want him to go down that road. He is too bright and really has so much potential in him. If he can find something he can hold onto, perhaps he can finally be free to live and enjoy his life.

Any insight is so appreciated. I want him to find hope, but I just don't know how to assist him in finding it. Perhaps ideas from everyone might help me to reach out to him on angles that I have not tried yet.

Thank you

I don't think that you can convince him about God and spirituality.
All you can do, the same with everything in this field, is to 'plant seeds'. If and when the time is right - and it's a fertile seed - it will take root and grow.

I would encourage him to get involved in Service of some sort. This would make him feel useful, purposeful and needed ...
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All this talk of religion, but it's how you live your life that is the all-important thing.
If you set out each day to do all the goodness and kindness that you can, and to do no harm to man or beast, then you are walking the highest path.
And when your time is up, if you can leave the earth a better place than you found it, then yours will have been a life well lived.

http://holy-lance.blogspot.com
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  #25  
Old 01-11-2014, 11:01 AM
knightofalbion knightofalbion is offline
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Believe, when you are most unhappy, that there is something for you to do in the world. So long as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not in vain
- Helen Keller
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All this talk of religion, but it's how you live your life that is the all-important thing.
If you set out each day to do all the goodness and kindness that you can, and to do no harm to man or beast, then you are walking the highest path.
And when your time is up, if you can leave the earth a better place than you found it, then yours will have been a life well lived.

http://holy-lance.blogspot.com
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  #26  
Old 01-11-2014, 11:24 AM
Emmalevine Emmalevine is offline
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Sadly you can't 'get through' to someone until they are ready to listen. You know the saying you can take a horse to water but can't make it drink? You've done all you can do. It's possible your friend wants a listening ear but doesn't really want any information right now. Some people want to talk about their pain and lack of beliefs or desire to find God, but they're not ready to actually seek spirituality or religion, if that makes sense. If this is the case, your friend is probably switching off at your suggestions to watch videos and the like. He is focused on his pain, not finding solutions.

Keep being a friend and if he continues to talk about suicide, do find out whether he is seriously contemplating it and if so seek help for him. He may need to know someone cares about him and that might well be all he's concerned about right now.
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  #27  
Old 01-11-2014, 11:31 AM
knightofalbion knightofalbion is offline
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Yes, very well said, dear Starbuck.

The best thing you can do for him right now is just to be there for him.
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All this talk of religion, but it's how you live your life that is the all-important thing.
If you set out each day to do all the goodness and kindness that you can, and to do no harm to man or beast, then you are walking the highest path.
And when your time is up, if you can leave the earth a better place than you found it, then yours will have been a life well lived.

http://holy-lance.blogspot.com
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  #28  
Old 01-11-2014, 12:03 PM
Gem Gem is offline
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But... you are not obligated to be there for him.
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Check out my signature.
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  #29  
Old 01-11-2014, 01:21 PM
A human Being A human Being is offline
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Some excellent suggestions; I would particularly echo the suggestions to a) simply listen to him without trying to change his thinking (see things from his perspective, as best you can, without judgment), and b) be conscious of your own responses to his behaviour and thoughts (again, without judgment).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gem
But... you are not obligated to be there for him.
Could you expand on that? On the face of it, it sounds a little heartless to me.
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  #30  
Old 01-11-2014, 02:35 PM
knightofalbion knightofalbion is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gem
But... you are not obligated to be there for him.

If Yumi's friendship and humanity mean anything then she is 'obligated' to be there for him.
The same for everyone.
__________________
All this talk of religion, but it's how you live your life that is the all-important thing.
If you set out each day to do all the goodness and kindness that you can, and to do no harm to man or beast, then you are walking the highest path.
And when your time is up, if you can leave the earth a better place than you found it, then yours will have been a life well lived.

http://holy-lance.blogspot.com
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