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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Religions & Faiths > Light Workers & Earth Angels

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  #1  
Old 29-10-2018, 10:57 PM
Angnix Angnix is offline
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Location: southern michigan
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What am I???

Something has always been different about me since I was a kid and now as an adult. It comes in the for of "labels" as a child "gifted yet emotionally impaired" as an adult the most recent set of labels being "Bipolar 1 with psychosis, general anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder and possibly mild autism"

My emotions rule me. All of them too intense. And the overwhelming feeling I am not quite like other humans... Just another person who is "crazy" or something else? I see lots of "angel numbers" and a couple other things "supernatural" but not much.

I just don't know who or what I am anymore or where to look to find out.
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  #2  
Old 30-10-2018, 09:57 AM
Mitodin Mitodin is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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Hi Angnix,

Can you tell a bit more about the history of all this? Given you've had these attempted diagnoses, I can imagine that some attempts at managing or 'correcting' this condition have been made already in your life - Perhaps therapy, medicines, spirital practises and such. I'd be interested to learn how you've worked with it up till now and how these approaches have turned out before attempting my own reflections.

Best Wishes
A / Mitodin
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  #3  
Old 30-10-2018, 08:49 PM
Angnix Angnix is offline
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Location: southern michigan
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I'm on a bunch of medications now but as a child I was punished for having meltdowns and hyperactive behaviors... Wasn't good. Anyway now I struggle spiritually not knowing what direction or path to take. When I was in the middle of psychosis I thought I was an incarcerated angel because my name is Angela. I try to be a good person but some of my relatives say I'm in fact a horrible person and sometimes I get to angry then I do things I regret and feel that I am.
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  #4  
Old 30-10-2018, 09:47 PM
Astro Astro is offline
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What Are You?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angnix
Anyway now I struggle spiritually not knowing what direction or path to take.

Have you tried writing down your thoughts & feelings on the matter to see if you can get some clarity?

On the subject of religions & faiths, it does not appear that the one you have chosen for this post is doing anything for you, based on what you've said here as well as having had a peek at your post history. Have you considered looking elsewhere for spiritual learning?
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  #5  
Old 31-10-2018, 12:00 AM
Angnix Angnix is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: southern michigan
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I'm kinda expected by my family to be Christian (well I have three pagan cousins though and I don't see them ridiculed) but my husband is sort of a "casual" Christian and I don't think he would appreciate me going down a different path. We are moving to our old town and my best friend there is some sort of Wiccan or pagan now based on her Facebook posts and she used to be a close friend and my husband is friends with her too and he knows about that and I wanted to ask my friend about that sort of thing or one of my cousins but idk...
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  #6  
Old 31-10-2018, 12:59 AM
Angnix Angnix is offline
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I also get confused about people saying contradictory things. Like for example some say I have autistic qualities because of how I obsess, how I am socially aquward, etc... But others say I'm an empath and I over emote because some of the feelings I experience are not my own. But "empathetic autistic" doesn't make sense. As you may have noticed from my labels my main issues involve emotions... I feel them too intensly, especially negative ones.
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  #7  
Old 31-10-2018, 12:59 AM
Angnix Angnix is offline
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Sorry this posted twice for some reason...
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  #8  
Old 31-10-2018, 03:11 PM
Astro Astro is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angnix
I also get confused about people saying contradictory things. Like for example some say I have autistic qualities because of how I obsess, how I am socially aquward, etc... But others say I'm an empath and I over emote because some of the feelings I experience are not my own. But "empathetic autistic" doesn't make sense. As you may have noticed from my labels my main issues involve emotions... I feel them too intensly, especially negative ones.

Have you talked things through with your husband? It might help more than listening to others opinions. It might help to clear up the confusion; allowing others to tell you what you are could be part of the problem.

I think everyone is empathic to some extent; it’s clearer to see more in some than in others, it’s just part of being human though, nothing special about it!
So; I don’t think it’s wise to seek a spiritual path, such as Lightworkers & Earth Angels, based on your empathic ability, especially not if you’re psychotic. I would say the same about Wicca & Paganism. I would have thought that the last thing you would need in your condition would be to embrace anything involving the paranormal. Just speaking from experience, these look like grey areas that appear to be misunderstood & abused in some places.

Emotional instability could be a symptom of being psychotic, looking at what you’ve said here. Are you receiving psychiatric treatment? I assume that you are, I know it works for some people.

You might also benefit by seeing a counsellor, especially if you continue to feel confused about matters. Confusion can become unhealthy!
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  #9  
Old 31-10-2018, 06:11 PM
Angnix Angnix is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: southern michigan
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My husband denies anything is wrong. He don't like to talk about such things. But I've always been different and it hurts because I feel like I need to find others like me. I've been told "you are very similar to some Asperger's people I know" but I've had only brief encounters with people diagnosed as such so idk. Bipolar people seem too "normal" when on proper meds and despite my diagnosis I don't fit in well. Usually other people diagnosed with borderline are cutters or were abused, etc... And I don't fall into that category and don't relate. I had delusions the few times I was psychotic so I don't relate to people who hear voices, etc... I had severe meltdowns as a kid almost everyday and I haven't found any one else as an adult who really went through that as a child. I'm lonely basically.
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  #10  
Old 01-11-2018, 10:48 AM
Mitodin Mitodin is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angnix
My husband denies anything is wrong. He don't like to talk about such things. But I've always been different and it hurts because I feel like I need to find others like me. I've been told "you are very similar to some Asperger's people I know" but I've had only brief encounters with people diagnosed as such so idk. Bipolar people seem too "normal" when on proper meds and despite my diagnosis I don't fit in well. Usually other people diagnosed with borderline are cutters or were abused, etc... And I don't fall into that category and don't relate. I had delusions the few times I was psychotic so I don't relate to people who hear voices, etc... I had severe meltdowns as a kid almost everyday and I haven't found any one else as an adult who really went through that as a child. I'm lonely basically.

Hi Angnix,

Correct me please if I am off base, but it sounds that this is perhaps the crux of the issue, more so than finding a classification that can help tell you who you are.

Perhaps this feeling, rather than the struggles with your mental patterns, is something your husband might also be more able to respond to if you reach out to him regarding that? To my mind, no one with a life companion should have to feel lonely for too long.
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