Why Did I Do This (In a Twin Flame Dream)?!

[SierraNevadaStar]

I was not sure where to post this - on this board or on the one for, "Dreams" but I feel here is the better place.

Things have not been so good between my 'twin flame' and I. I felt a shift in our vibrations last spring and in the fall, he married a toxic narcissist and potentially 'false twin.' At the time, I'd voiced that I worried about him for theirs is a co-dependent relationship and I don't doubt, one that involves the use of drugs.

We're not in physical contact, buit seemed to have maintained spiritual contact.

In a vivid, twin-flame-infused dream back in January, I asked him: "Why did you marry her?" He responded: "Because it's a waste of my beautiful mind." I then said to him: "You do...You do have a beautiful mind!" We held each other, lamenting that we are not together in this physical world. At the time, I did not understand what he meant until, not a day or two later, I began reading a book and once I was about a third of the way into it, I reached a section titled, "Shouldn't a Soul Mate Have a Beautiful Mind?" The text that followed was quite pertinent. And then given what he'd said, I took it as confirmation as to what I'd already long suspected - that this woman is not his soul mate - a karmic connection, perhaps - but not a soul mate.

However, a few weeks ago, I found myself with him again in a dream. For some reason and surprising myself, I said to him: "I don't think I can see you anymore." He looked as though I''d just ripped his heart out. His eyes were wide, tearful and stunned. He said, "What?! Why?!" I only said to him, "It hurts..." He then seemed to become angry in the dream and said some cold, callous things.

I woke up then. I fail all this time to understand why I did what I did and said what I said. I know he/this situation has caused me a tremendous amount of pain (among other things). I know that, the day before, I was feeling that pain a lot because of something a mutual acquaintance of ours had told me my twin's wife had said. I still feel like she committed one heck of a theft...I seem unable to feel otherwise. Perhaps that doesn't make sense, but it's complicated as many twin flame bonds seem to be.

So I think...Was it ego stepping in, in this dream, out of fear? Is my Higher Self orchestrating 'a break' for us even in the dream world? Is something coming that I would not be able to handle (because I'd said to myself many times, I do not wish to know about their life and future together, the children to be born, any illnesses, their career successes and failures, etc., etc. for I can, subconsciously, link with him all too well and accurately.).

I have felt him, sensed him upon waking a few times over the course of the past week - though I do not recall having dreamt of him except once and it may have been more sexual, more primal in nature. Two days ago, I felt emotions which I suspected were coming from him because I have become accustomed to that feeling and to my empathy.

Practically, I no longer want to be 'here' in this day-to-day world worrying about him and dwelling on our respective situations apart as I tend to do. I don't believe I'ver ever wanted that. I guess I wasn't even sure I wanted to remain in spiritual contact with him - not consciously anyway. I'd been debating whether or not to remain so often and for months. Perhaps this recent dream made that decision for me and for whatever reason. A part of me cannot help but fear what that reason might be abnd that it would be one which would end in more heartbreak.

[Elysium]

I have the belief that your soul is made of something better or higher than your physical self. Its like you are as physical not aware of the love your soul is, has,the power of it. If i were in this situation, i would just trust my soul, as i always do.