I wanted to stop by tonight and write some stuff about some stuff. I don't mind if you don't read it. The point is to write it, it seems.
you've answered your own question. Because you are tired, you may eventually find yourself able to quit.
The fact that light workers can't change their mind isn't a good thing in my book... it is a very bad thing.
I don't consider myself a Light Worker FallingLeaves. I consider myself a Child of The Light. Much like Rah nam explained, I made a choice to serve The Light... no... serve is not the right word... to Walk The Light Path instead of The Dark Path, although truth be told, like every human, there have been some iffy detours and dark Paths I wandered down, that I will have to atone for somewhere down the line.
Not only did I freely make that Choice, I took an Oath. Somewhere, some place, some when, to Walk that Path and do my best and answer when Called upon.
I can change my mind, at any time or place or when. That has been made clear to me since the beginning and remains so now. It wasn't until I was Called upon in this somewhere, some place, some time, that I became fully aware of this Oath, although I have inherently and always known it in this now and assume I have always known it since I made it in a distant time and place and space.
So, my tendency is to recluse and I have always been pretty much a wild child (in this life) and consistently incompetent at being responsible or caring what others thought, either as a child or as an adult, and I constantly question (not as in I don't believe you but in why? why? why?) and, I will tell you truthfully, that I personally Saged the **** out of The Guardians, as well as some Holy Water throwing and Salt Circling and many, many Crosses out of Cedar and... well... you get my drift... before I recognized/remembered Them, When They Called me in this now, in this Time.
So, You can See that I make a rather incompetent and irritating Student, much less Warrior, in the scheme of things.
Still
I hold certain Truths that came into This world with me... that run though the very essence of my Being, even as a small child... and that will Walk out of this World with me when I leave. these Truths are Undeniable, Unquestioned, Unchallenged and Absolute. The most important being, I am a Child of The Light. I am Tribe. I am Oathed. I am Loved.
This is not 'Faith'. This is 'Remembrance'.
It is not mine to change the world, any world.(as in those who inhabit any particular world at any particular time). And, The Creation that is Earth is perfect as She was Created and will be protected by Higher than, way Higher than, me... (You can take that to the bank).
It is mine to Stand with Those who are The Guardians of The Light.
See, to me, These One's are the Light Workers.
It is mine to protect The Children when it is within my Power and if I can't, to name them forever in my memory. It is mine to answer when The Guardians Call and mine to refuse if it be my Will. It is also mine to Understand the cost of that refusal. Not to me, for which I am accountable, but to The Children who are not.
This time, this world, it took 10 long years to re-learn this avenue of communication. Another 10 plus to learn to Listen, Hear, and interpret correctly, (or as close to correctly as is possible between the Physical and Other) and another 10 to become anywhere near competent in the Lessons. And still, I failed many, many, more times than I succeeded and had to be saved more than once, by Those who had far more pressing matters at hand ... Which was not without consequence, sometimes very serious consequence.
But, regardless, I Stood. Wobbly and dragging a Sword that was Way to big for me behind. Causing more havoc than good I imagine, more times then not. And They waited and They picked me up and They brushed me off and They reprimanded and encouraged and with an extraordinary amount of Patience which is not always Their strong suit... They led me Home.
It is my Oath. I will keep it. They are Tribe.
So, long-winded I know, but, I have a very long way to go into The Eternity... To Call myself a Light Worker. Of course, this is in my view of IS.
How long is long enough? How many lifetimes? How many Millennium?
I understand The Oath ... but really? REALLY?
I am really tired.
When I posted this to Rah nam I was exhausted and despairing and fed-up. And I apologize for whining.
What is exhausting me is the total and complete idiocy going around and about us in today's world. I am not now, nor have I ever been, a lover of humanity in general. I have no trouble Seeing the self-destruction that continues throughout history, and that's okay if it is only SELF-destruction... but, no... this destruction sucks its energy from the innocent. The same sh*t different fricken Millennium, was old thousands of years ago.
The suffering of The Children because of this wanton, callous, abusive, apathetic, self-grandizing, smugness and bullying and enslaving and apathy and cruelty and dark, dark, Unspeakable abuse, towards others... is almost just to much. And here we are again. Back at it ... 2018. AD people.
We are Walking so far backwards as a civilization that the fabric of reality is caving in on itself. Literally.
One of those Lesson's I talked of earlier, in fact, the last Lesson ... was this.
"It is not enough to Love a Child. You must Love them all." What? What? No. I argued that point for a very long time.
I get it... took a whole lot of NO before I understood the Lesson. I don't have to like it. And I really, really, don't. But, I am trying to Walk it, Usually unsuccessfully, and it exhausts me. I just want to smite some of these wanna be dark Lord idiots.
Or Walk Away.
Can't, won't, The Children are here.
So.
I know the feeling
I thank you for acknowledging the feeling Rah nam. Make's me feel less -- well.
Linear Mode
