commitment

[Glitterkiss]

I'm curious how people define infidelity. Is it simply physical or is it that you have something with another person that you wouldn't share with your partner?

There are many other ways this all can go. Again, please define if you can. I feel there is a lot of pressure put on singular relationships but, there is also a lot of pleasure in working toward stable intimacy.

No judgements here. Personally, I'm more liberal than most, have some boundaries and am frustrated by other boundaries and perceptions.

thanks in advance.

[Baile]

Infidelity if you are in a committed monogamous relationship and cheat on your partner behind their back. Not infidelity if you have an open marriage and see other partners. The one and only one rule, the thing that makes the difference here: complete honesty, at all times.

Here's a twist to that: Partner A wants to see others, while partner B wants a monogamous relationship. Partner A says they will see others anyway, and then does. Is that infidelity? They're being honest, so...? My opinion: Not infidelity so much as just plain uncaring selfishness. I mean, get a divorce first, or move out at least before you go date someone else.

Me, I'm super old school, I think it's a form of infidelity to lust after other people in your imagination if you're already in a committed relationship. Like eyeing the other sex (or same sex) while you're out with your partner. Really unconscious, really bad taste. If you love someone, love them and get your mind out of other peoples' gutters.

To me infidelity is dis honesty.

Any form of lying. all i ever ask is honesty. this will save the relationship. or the hassle. If I'm with someone who has to lie to me then id rather not be with them.

I just think that relationships develop ground rules. "Faithful" is about working to and with those rules. If either breaks them then they've been unfaithful to the relationship and thus to all those involved. Need have nothing to do with sex. It could be over money; health (you don't want a partner to expose themselves to being a health burden to you if they can do otherwise); could be sorts of involvement with other people.

Two considerations: some of those rules are written into one's cultural custom and practice; the rules could be changed. But until they are changed, deceit is infidelity.

As I see it.

♥

[Glitterkiss]

and if someone falls in love with someone other than their partner? I feel like love like that is not a choice, it's an amazing thing and sacred. I get that it can be disruptive. Thoughts?

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by Glitterkiss

and if someone falls in love with someone other than their partner? I feel like love like that is not a choice, it's an amazing thing and sacred. I get that it can be disruptive. Thoughts?

Depends. There are some who believe they can love more than one person at the same time. If their regular partner is happy with this, can handle it, there doesn't have to be a problem, but I think few can.

I also think it depends what your intention are with that other person. Do you see it as just being in love and that's it? I think that happens to many in a long term relationship at some point. Or do you feel you want more with that person? Like intimacy, a relationship next to the other one?

Just all depends on the variables, what is acceptable to you, your regular partner AND to this other person of course. I don't think there is a right or wrong, as long as all involved are happy with the situation. If not, then you -and them too- will have to make decisions..

[Glitterkiss]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

Depends. There are some who believe they can love more than one person at the same time. If their regular partner is happy with this, can handle it, there doesn't have to be a problem, but I think few can.

I also think it depends what your intention are with that other person. Do you see it as just being in love and that's it? I think that happens to many in a long term relationship at some point. Or do you feel you want more with that person? Like intimacy, a relationship next to the other one?

Just all depends on the variables, what is acceptable to you, your regular partner AND to this other person of course. I don't think there is a right or wrong, as long as all involved are happy with the situation. If not, then you -and them too- will have to make decisions..

Thanks for this response. I do think it's complex like this. Much to think about.

[FairyCrystal]

You're welcome. Good luck, whatever you do!