I've given up on him

[Liz614]

As some of you remember, I've had quite the journey with my tf. We briefly got back together last fall but split up in mid-December during a weekend in another city that should have been fun and beautiful. Saw a concert of his favorite band and everything. But there was tension and it ended badly and well, I did not talk to hm for several months. Since then he's reached out to me a few times, back in March he said he didn't see the point in going on in life anymore as things just got harder and harder in life. I was briefly dating a guy that was totally wrong for me. A definite rebound. I broke things off with him, it was long distance anyway but I'd seen him on three occasions for a good week at a time. Well I saw him once since then, he took my daughters and I to an arcade and we had fun. Then in typical fashion, he distanced himself from me right afterwards.

I was quite upset but this behavior was it exactly new to me. I was invited on an epic week long rafting trip by my best friend and I took her up on it and I told him about it. I said I was going to be gone for a week on the river in the deep forest and I hoped it would be the end of my need to write him emails that were always unanswered, except for the odd reply I'd get from him when he was drunk and lonely. It worked for awhile. I returned from the trip and had an email from him talking about how attracted he was to me (I questioned that), and that he thinks about me constantly. I replied to talk about the trip and the spiritual effects it had on me. It really was beautiful and a salve for my spirit. He really never wrote again. I didn't write to him for a good week or two, but then, I was on tinder for the first time and saw one of his "friends" on there, as that's a loose term since they don't hang out per se, but my tf is really good friends with this guy's roommate. Well I right swiped and so did he, and we ended up getting to know each other. I did end up sleeping with him but I realized early on I didn't like him a great deal. Local musician, I was warned about him after the fact, he's a very selfish whiny impossible man. I felt a lot of guilt and basically pushed the guy away to the point that he may have gone to my tf and said something just to get me back. I haven't heard from him (tf) in weeks. Ten days ago I said I am done with the emails and writing into the ether like an idiot. And that he would not hear from me again, and I've stuck to it. Since then I met a man 16 years my senior (I'm 42) and he asked me out and I didn't want to be rude so I agreed but it's just felt all wrong. I told him I didn't want to lead him on but he said he doesn't mind taking me out and just enjoys my company. That said, he was clueless. He got me really drunk and had no idea and I sat in my car after he hugged me goodnight and I said "I can't drive like this". So we went to his place and we did more than I wanted to and I just feel sick. I actually convinced myself I don't need sex for as long as I live. My tf has problems due to hernia surgeries, but my love for him was so deep and we showed our attraction in other ways, but I still wondered if I was missing out. My friends told me I was. Hell. His friends and family kinda told me I was. But all I can think about is him, and I know logically and from an ego standpoint, it's not in my best interest, but my spirit says otherwise. I feel so much life when he is around, within myself, within him, it's really crazy. And yet he is a spiritual toddler really, and man is he running. Three years now he's been running, it's been push/pull and I am tired, but I love him. He just doesn't love himself. And I'm not so sure I love myself either.

I stalked him on Instagram for the first time ever and he had posted pics of girlfriend he had. They were teens and had two kids together. They broke up years ago then something happened to her and she became mentally disabled, and in a home for life. Well he posted pics of her when she was maybe 16 and said #imissyou and that just killed me. But I know it was all for show. I think he feels enormous guilt. I also think he misses that simpler time in his life when they had fallen in love. I know it was passionate. She was very cute, I was taken aback by just how pretty she was because he is not conventionally handsome, but she must have felt for him like I did, and well, he called me the love of his life severa, times but now I really wonder about that. He is also very sweet to one of his longtime female friends who has a boyfriend, but she's a tall blonde much younger woman, and he posted a pic of a field of flowers and dedicated a song to her, something he never did with me. I didn't exist on his social media really. I blocked him on Facebook, which is all I have, like two years ago but I don't think it mattered, he seemed to keep me in his pocket, and never took me out . His friends tried to sleep with me, his female friends didn't understand why I was with him, passersby on the street sometimes looked as if we were mismatched. But then some said we were the cutest couple ever. I thought we were adorable. To this day I love his face so much, and I don't enjoy kissing anyone but him. Sure if I'm tipsy and in the moment I can kiss another, but the next day I feel dirty and wrong.

Am I selling myself short? I can't even open myself up emotionally to another man. I'm trying but I can't. And he will probably never come around. Not in this lifetime. Twin flames force us to grow. I get that, and I am growing so much, but I also want to live, to,love, to enjoy sex, and romance, and I feel he and he has stolen that from me in a way. This is so hard. Three years on and it's so much easier but still controls me in many ways. Any input much appreciated.

[Flameseeker]

All TF here now accepted the mission to come to earth to unite in order to aid ascension, at some point we need to put our ego dreams of happily ever after with 2.5 kids aside, I know that it is hard when you live here day to day to deal with the mundane realities of life & think you just want a normal relationship but that is not what you signed up for.

So many post lately winging, I blocked my twin, I'm sick of my twin, I'm done with my twin, we need to get over it, it is your job to be there for your twin regardless again & again & again.

The only reason you were born in this life is to reach Union with your twin ! The TF on earth now arnt in karmic birth death cycles we are past that we arnt learning anything new we are remembering what we already know.

Trust me the payoff when we return will be well worth it which is why we signed up for this life. If you wander off into the sunset & forget about your TF you will be so upset once you return & remember your mission & realise you just spent the most important life you will ever live with the most important mission you have ever had & wasted it because you couldn't get your own way, if your twin is running then look to yourself to figure out why. Time to wake up & accept the reality of the TF situation.

[intj123]

Originally Posted by Flameseeker

All TF here now accepted the mission to come to earth to unite in order to aid ascension, at some point we need to put our ego dreams of happily ever after with 2.5 kids aside, I know that it is hard when you live here day to day to deal with the mundane realities of life & think you just want a normal relationship but that is not what you signed up for.

So many post lately winging, I blocked my twin, I'm sick of my twin, I'm done with my twin, we need to get over it, it is your job to be there for your twin regardless again & again & again.

The only reason you were born in this life is to reach Union with your twin ! The TF on earth now arnt in karmic birth death cycles we are past that we arnt learning anything new we are remembering what we already know.

Trust me the payoff when we return will be well worth it which is why we signed up for this life. If you wander off into the sunset & forget about your TF you will be so upset once you return & remember your mission & realise you just spent the most important life you will ever live with the most important mission you have ever had & wasted it because you couldn't get your own way, if your twin is running then look to yourself to figure out why. Time to wake up & accept the reality of the TF situation.

Today I learned something about all twin flame missions vaguely, it's that we are all supposed to help bring "enlightenment"(I'm assuming in various forms through personal talents). They keep saying the mission is more important than the relationship, that it's something bigger at play, and for some reason I think that's the truth. Why else does God/Divine Spirit enter the picture as a 3rd party to your relationship?

This is not about romance, it's about heaven on earth I guess?
Is that the end goal? Seems possible.

Don't let my statement get all your hopes down either, there CAN be romance for sure, but there is just more to it than that.

And it's fine if you want to "give up on him", but do not give up on yourself.... As long as you don't give up on yourself, it will all work out in the end.

[ForgedInFire]

Originally Posted by Flameseeker

All TF here now accepted the mission to come to earth to unite in order to aid ascension, at some point we need to put our ego dreams of happily ever after with 2.5 kids aside, I know that it is hard when you live here day to day to deal with the mundane realities of life & think you just want a normal relationship but that is not what you signed up for.

So many post lately winging, I blocked my twin, I'm sick of my twin, I'm done with my twin, we need to get over it, it is your job to be there for your twin regardless again & again & again.

The only reason you were born in this life is to reach Union with your twin ! The TF on earth now arnt in karmic birth death cycles we are past that we arnt learning anything new we are remembering what we already know.

Trust me the payoff when we return will be well worth it which is why we signed up for this life. If you wander off into the sunset & forget about your TF you will be so upset once you return & remember your mission & realise you just spent the most important life you will ever live with the most important mission you have ever had & wasted it because you couldn't get your own way, if your twin is running then look to yourself to figure out why. Time to wake up & accept the reality of the TF situation.

Union exists for all tf's in 5d so maintaining a physical union is not even necessary. Meeting them again in 3d however is necessary. But to remain in a physical union is not. The fact is that we all reincarnated into some of the most difficult situations possible to transmute so there is a very high rate of failures to ever get into union. We all knew and accepted this beforehand.

Those others who abandon, block and give up on their twin know that their counterpart in the 3d is a lost cause. Free will exists here so you cant force runners to do anything. They can and do make their own choices and does not have to be forced to be with you. The divine can align situations for a physical union to occur but that doesnt mean they must be accepted. How many runners on here have gone on to go marry some other person that is not their twin? Quite a few!!

Mission is the number one priority. end of story.. physical union on the other hand is the last part of the equation and does not matter if it achieved or not. if one cannot get into and remain in union they must still continue with mission no matter what. How can one achieve and continue on doing mission with a dead weight and the distraction of a disobedient twin? By stopping obsession about what that twin is doing or who they are with. And a different relationship is acceptable if it doe not interfere with doing mission work. Some others are given this chance just so they are able to continue on and not be weighed down by the disobedient twin. One of the major problems here is that too many tf's are focusing on just getting into union way too much and by doing so they are not doing the work.

Now some may still not know what their specific 'mission' is but is actually quite simple in a broader sense.. teaching unconditional love.

[ForgedInFire]

Originally Posted by Liz614

Am I selling myself short? I can't even open myself up emotionally to another man. I'm trying but I can't. And he will probably never come around. Not in this lifetime. Twin flames force us to grow. I get that, and I am growing so much, but I also want to live, to,love, to enjoy sex, and romance, and I feel he and he has stolen that from me in a way. This is so hard. Three years on and it's so much easier but still controls me in many ways. Any input much appreciated.

well first of all.. you need to get rid of these limiting beliefs. cant.. never and other disempowering words should be tossed right out the window and not used or thought of. change your thinking patterns..but know they wont come overnight so dont be hard on yourself for that.

if you are reading lame fluffy tf websites that help foster such beliefs i strongly encourage you to stop visiting them altogether. This is how many others take upon themselves these limiting factitious beliefs in the first place. Things such as runner/chaser.. not this lifetime.. never going to change.. never going to come around.. cant be with anyone else but tf.. all these things MUST be no longer thought of.

what you believe will happen is what you are telling the universe you want to happen and it will reward you accordingly.

[Flameseeker]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LZeUEULgGf8

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=65iCE-ho1CI

[hineahuone]

Originally Posted by ForgedInFire

well first of all.. you need to get rid of these limiting beliefs. cant.. never and other disempowering words should be tossed right out the window and not used or thought of. change your thinking patterns..but know they wont come overnight so dont be hard on yourself for that.

if you are reading lame fluffy tf websites that help foster such beliefs i strongly encourage you to stop visiting them altogether. This is how many others take upon themselves these limiting factitious beliefs in the first place. Things such as runner/chaser.. not this lifetime.. never going to change.. never going to come around.. cant be with anyone else but tf.. all these things MUST be no longer thought of.

what you believe will happen is what you are telling the universe you want to happen and it will reward you accordingly.

so agree with this thanks for the reminder.

[intj123]

Originally Posted by ForgedInFire

Union exists for all tf's in 5d so maintaining a physical union is not even necessary. Meeting them again in 3d however is necessary. But to remain in a physical union is not. The fact is that we all reincarnated into some of the most difficult situations possible to transmute so there is a very high rate of failures to ever get into union. We all knew and accepted this beforehand.

Those others who abandon, block and give up on their twin know that their counterpart in the 3d is a lost cause. Free will exists here so you cant force runners to do anything. They can and do make their own choices and does not have to be forced to be with you. The divine can align situations for a physical union to occur but that doesnt mean they must be accepted. How many runners on here have gone on to go marry some other person that is not their twin? Quite a few!!

Mission is the number one priority. end of story.. physical union on the other hand is the last part of the equation and does not matter if it achieved or not. if one cannot get into and remain in union they must still continue with mission no matter what. How can one achieve and continue on doing mission with a dead weight and the distraction of a disobedient twin? By stopping obsession about what that twin is doing or who they are with. And a different relationship is acceptable if it doe not interfere with doing mission work. Some others are given this chance just so they are able to continue on and not be weighed down by the disobedient twin. One of the major problems here is that too many tf's are focusing on just getting into union way too much and by doing so they are not doing the work.

Now some may still not know what their specific 'mission' is but is actually quite simple in a broader sense.. teaching unconditional love.

"Disobedient twin" haha you guys are actually EQUAL.
You seem to have possessive/control issues, expectations of being the leader(power position in relations), and you also place yourself higher than her, when you think you are better than them then it creates an imbalance, it signals rejection.

When the runner runs, the responsibility is 100% on the chaser/awakened one to go within and do the inner work to heal.
Then the runner might actually awaken.

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by Liz614

Am I selling myself short? I can't even open myself up emotionally to another man. I'm trying but I can't.

Don't try, let go and wait for the universe to bring you what you're looking for. It can happen again, it just has to be on the right terms. I could never open up again to someone in the same way unless that connection was there. And I am alright waiting for it to happen again, even if I have to wait most of my life.

[ForgedInFire]

i meant disobedient as in they refuse to do mission work.