Am I "the runner" now?

[Romy123]

Help, I am so confused. A little background, I've worked with TF for almost a decade. Three years ago I realized he was my TF, and although we went through phases where we just wanted to be around each other, I would try to open up to him (i.e. Tried to start deeper conversations, asked him out a couple times "as friends") he shuts down. Anyway, up until last month, I felt this unconditional love, compassion, patience, etc. these past few weeks, I've entered some sort of phase where I am extremely annoyed with him, his social awkwardness & lack of social grace, his little white lies, his seemingly dismissive attitude. And I'm not hurt, just very aggravated. I'm assuming the change in his attitude towards me is because of having a girlfriend right now . (Although, even with the girlfriend, he would still give me these longing and sad puppy dog looks, up until recently). I also get annoyed that others are so attracted to him. The way other women look at him, it is pathetic almost. And I wonder if this is my defense mechanism for not getting hurt, or if his personality is really that annoying to me. It's like my feelings for him are gone from one day to the next. But yet, I still believe he is my TF. What is going on?

[Romy123]

Also, I've learned to love myself a lot this summer. And I've learned to be pretty assertive in many situations. I feel like I don't need TF, but I miss the feelings I had for him and the relationship we had, even if in 3D, it didn't look like much.

[intj123]

Let the universe take care of the rest.

You sound like a chaser who has surrendered for the most part.
But that's why you need to just let the universe take care of it, I think the runner has to do their own work still.
Just hold that space in your heart for them, and fill the rest with self love, make that unconditional self love.

A lot of my feelings have waned as well, and I am not having obsessive thoughts about her.
I'm more focused on myself now too, it seems normal, and I'm much happier.