Ability of deceased to communicate

Originally Posted by dave sonsaleagain

Lady Terra, You need not be embarrassed about anything. Everyone who goes through this grieves in their own way. I am still learning what my way is. You spent 20 years with him and that bond will not likely be replicated but at the same time, I've always believed the human heart has an inborn desire to love someone. If that someone stumbles into your life, don't deny yourself happiness. Your husband would want you to be happy. Not that I'm saying you're not happy now. Also, I too now know exactly what they mean when they say til death do us part. We were never married but her sister held one hand and I held the other as she drew her last breath. Saddest day of my life.

My Beloved passed in home hospice of liver cancer. Our sons each held a hand and I sat on the bed with my hand on his heart--as it beat for the last time and he took his last breath.

We then bathed and dressed him and called the rest of the children to come and take part in the Candle Ritual to farewell his Spirit and held the wake.

We went through all the family albums and shared stories of our life (together) as a family.

You are so very kind to wish me well and it just so happens that their may be someone on the horizon--but he needs time to grieve his divorce and I still grieve for my husband--so for now we are just friends.

Time will tell for all of us.

Peace and Love on your path to Healing and Moving ever forward...

Blessed be...

[Tobi]

Originally Posted by dave sonsaleagain

Hi. My longtime girlfriend passed away several months ago and I have not felt her presence at all. Nobody else in her family has either. I know she would want to communicate with me, but I just have no idea how to open myself up for such an experience. What could I do to open the lines of communication between her and I?

I know this feeling. It makes you start to think "they have just gone!" I got exactly the same with my mother and we loved each other very much. Of all the people I've known I would kind of expected her to make contact! And I honestly feel she hasn't....I am sensitive enough that I would definitely have sensed her if she had made even the slightest contact.
Yet my dog has! And shown beyond any shadow of a doubt to me that there indeed is a life beyond, a land beyond.
I don't know why some do and some don't. The only idea I got about it is that some may need more time to adjust to their new life in spirit and their new conditions. A few months isn't very long. Some are also better not trying to return for a time, as doing so takes a lot of vital energy, and can draw them back to the Earth plane, and be damaging for them.
Some Souls can easily cope with this, and some need more time.
Also sometimes, it's a question of our own attunement to them, rather than on their part. So that we are not so much "drawing them back" as going half-way to meet them.
It's very hard to 'raise our vibrations' while we are processing grief. The grief must be allowed to express itself naturally. There is nothing wrong with tears. But prolonged painful dark mourning with feelings of hopelessness, constant dark sadness, sorrow etc can hinder their progress, and ours.
Tears, with love, never do any harm. Praying for them, smiling, being proud of them, grateful for the blessings we knew, happy memories, all help. In time, the love grows bigger than the grief. Our vibrations raise, even though we may still cry a little sometimes. So raise vibrations, send prayers, love and gratitude. They hear you. In time you may sense some contact, as you draw closer to their Soul.
If you don't, there is a good reason for it, and it will be a loving reason. They may still need to adjust, or may not be able to withstand the heavy energies of the near-Earth environment yet.

I am very sorry for your loss. Big hugs from me.
She is now continuing her spiritual learning, and will not have forgotten your love.

[quote=Tobi]I know this feeling. It makes you start to think "they have just gone!" I got exactly the same with my mother and we loved each other very much. Of all the people I've known I would kind of expected her to make contact! And I honestly feel she hasn't....I am sensitive enough that I would definitely have sensed her if she had made even the slightest contact.
Yet my dog has! And shown beyond any shadow of a doubt to me that there indeed is a life beyond, a land beyond.
I don't know why some do and some don't. The only idea I got about it is that some may need more time to adjust to their new life in spirit and their new conditions. A few months isn't very long. Some are also better not trying to return for a time, as doing so takes a lot of vital energy, and can draw them back to the Earth plane, and be damaging for them.
Some Souls can easily cope with this, and some need more time.
Also sometimes, it's a question of our own attunement to them, rather than on their part. So that we are not so much "drawing them back" as going half-way to meet them.
It's very hard to 'raise our vibrations' while we are processing grief. The grief must be allowed to express itself naturally. There is nothing wrong with tears. But prolonged painful dark mourning with feelings of hopelessness, constant dark sadness, sorrow etc can hinder their progress, and ours.
Tears, with love, never do any harm. Praying for them, smiling, being proud of them, grateful for the blessings we knew, happy memories, all help. In time, the love grows bigger than the grief. Our vibrations raise, even though we may still cry a little sometimes. So raise vibrations, send prayers, love and gratitude. They hear you. In time you may sense some contact, as you draw closer to their Soul.
If you don't, there is a good reason for it, and it will be a loving reason. They may still need to adjust, or may not be able to withstand the heavy energies of the near-Earth environment yet.

I am very sorry for your loss. Big hugs from me.
She is now continuing her spiritual learning, and will not have forgotten your love.[/QUOTE



Please know that nothing we do--grieving, etc.--can hinder them in any way and that you can receive ADCs (after death communiications) even when you are in the depths of grief.....and that you don't have to necessarily "feel" their presence for them to be close by you.......

Hi, everyone. Wow, what a beautiful thread! I am sorry, I don't mean to hijack this thread, but I just had to leave some messages for all of you.

Pinkroses, thank you! thank you for being the OP of this important question and exploration.

Native Spirit - I felt sad when I read it's been 7 years that your husband crossed over and you haven't seen him, just felt him. Yet I am glad that you feel him - that must be so comforting, especially when you were so ill.

Lady Terra: your story made me tear up. What a beautiful experience, to be there, touching your beloved's heart, with his children at his side, when he crossed over. I wish I was with my Dad when he crossed over - but he went quickly after 5 months hospitalized illness and I do not begrudge him waiting any longer cuz I know he needed to go. Also that you spoke to paying attention to synchronicities and not the "visions" and the "dreams" - I will do this for watch for a message from my beloved Dad!

And Tobi, you shared wonderful healing wisdom talking about the need to do our grief processing/healing work and raise our vibrations to meet our crossed over loved ones half way. And the line, "there is a good reason ... and a loving reason" for an absence of contact - just fed my soul! Thank you!

Dave sonsaleagain: I am so sorry for the loss of your girlfriend. I wish you much comfort and warmth in your grieving and healing from this sad loss.

Thank you everyone - I was going to post a thread about "why hasn't my Dad contacted me, or why can't I contact him?" But this thread answered my question. So again, I mean no hijacking harm - I just had to say thank you, I feel much comforted!

4 Lady Terra:

In my Tradition--we generally allow one year plus one day for the deceased to acclimate to their new situation--before making any request--or attempting contact (out of respect)

Hi, Lady Terra. Would you mind sharing what tradition this teaching is from? It really resonated with me because I've wondered if I'm "bugging" my Dad by asking for a message/sign from him, and he crossed over nearly 5 months ago (last Halloween).

And it's okay if you don't want to say, I respect that. It was still a profound statement for me. (Even though I want to see my beloved Dad now! Talk about acting like an impatient little kid! LOL)

[Illumine]

I don't tend to post much anymore but since communicating with the deceased has come up a lot for me recently, I thought I might share what I found...

My great grandad never moved on from this place, simply because he doesn't want to and appears to have a lot of unfinished business. What is interesting is that when he passed, he came back to his home and was speaking with his son (my grandfather) immediately. He didn't even realise he'd died. There was an incident that happened after he passed so my great grandad stopped speaking to my own grandad, even though my grandad would be able to sense when he had been around. They are talking again now a little but what is interesting is that he has asked a lot about what happened in the family after his death and seems unaware of things that happened in the first year or so after he passed. Yet he knows who I am despite us never meeting and regularly moves things in my room and has even appeared to me in mirrors. It would seem that they do take some time to adjust.

In response to dave sonsaleagain, my grandad and I have recently made connections with two family members who had not communicated with anyone since they died at all and they died about 30 years ago or more. One of them (my grandad's sister) I actually saw walking past our window and mistook for my own mum and later on I spotted her again in a photo I'd taken of our garden on Halloween. My grandad then spoke to her and she also had no idea of certain things that had passed and didn't even know her husband had died only a few years ago (she died a few decades ago). She also said it took her a while to adjust and that she didn't know what was going on for some time but it also seems that she came back here to what was her childhood home and stayed in this place rather than seeking out her husband and family and thus, had no idea what happened to any of them.

Also, after many years of trying to communicate with my nan's sister who died 30 years ago, my grandad visited the cemetery where she was buried. He has tried talking to her before and received no response but this time, only a couple of weeks ago, she spoke after all those years of no contact. He asked if she would com visit because my nan misses her greatly and would love to have some contact but her sister wasn't aware that she could even leave her grave and said she'd been there ever since her burial. This woman's husband died only recently having lived on without her and initially he did let us know he was around, turning lights on and off and calling out names but he has since stopped communicating and I can only wonder if he is taking time to adjust and will be in contact eventually when ready. It seems to be different for all of them.

Sorry if that's a bit long but it might be of interest/help to someone. At least know that there is still a chance they'll contact you, even after several years (but hopefully not as long as 30!)

[Tobi]

I feel to an extent, it can depend on the kind of grieving. What seems to matter to them most is the love we have for them. From my experience, tears and some sadness -they can easily cope with and understand with compassion, and it doesn't have to hold them back. In fact, the love and understanding they can come into can help them grow.
But the kind of grieving that stays deep, dark, and heavy can be upsetting for them. They want to feel our love, and are happier when we can settle more into love than endless agony and pain.

Originally Posted by Juanita

......Spirit sees the bigger picture and knows and empathizes with our grief and struggles..............

Of course it does... however, the spirit/soul is largely behind the very struggles and grief that we experience... it experiences these things "through" us, that's why we're here... it knows many of the struggles we'll be facing before we actually encounter them, and makes sure we enter the stream in which they occur... our soul is here to learn from such things.. while our waking self is simply the vehicle in which this takes place...

Don't think that our soul is just watching us like a loving parent watches a bumbling child... the challenges we face is of our souls doing... the harm that we encounter is done intentionally.... and from that we become stronger, then so does our soul..... so essentially our soul 'feels' what it 'forces' us to endure.... our soul needs for us to win/overcome, but it wants us to fail badly first before this takes place....

Originally Posted by StephenK

Of course it does... however, the spirit/soul is largely behind the very struggles and grief that we experience... it experiences these things "through" us, that's why we're here... it knows many of the struggles we'll be facing before we actually encounter them, and makes sure we enter the stream in which they occur... our soul is here to learn from such things.. while our waking self is simply the vehicle in which this takes place...

Don't think that our soul is just watching us like a loving parent watches a bumbling child... the challenges we face is of our souls doing... the harm that we encounter is done intentionally.... and from that we become stronger, then so does our soul..... so essentially our soul 'feels' what it 'forces' us to endure.... our soul needs for us to win/overcome, but it wants us to fail badly first before this takes place....

I wasn't talking about "my" spirit/soul or even "your" spirit/ soul, but those who are in spirit (transitioned) already............geez.........................

Originally Posted by Juanita

I wasn't talking about "my" spirit/soul or even "your" spirit/ soul, but those who are in spirit (transitioned) already............geez.........................

Same thing applies to them as well.... geez.... :^)