What is Love

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Emm

Seriously, how would you describe the love you feel? All I seem to read or hear is that it makes us needy and emotional. Is that really all it is? How is this tf love so different to what we call 3D love...what sets this love apart from all others? Dig deep.

Love is something I thought I could never feel again and I wanted absolutely no part of it, until it found me, despite myself and every effort I made to either fight it or ignore it.

It is being able to recognise certain qualities within another person we usually reserve for ourselves and our own self-interrogations, then have all those qualities mutually accepted, acknowledged and respected.

It is a love that isn't restricted by time nor location - even though that is an annoying aspect of it, but the whole 'waiting game'...the whole 'absence making the heart grow fonder' bit is what separates a TF love from a '3D' love - if we could be with our TF all the time, we'd love it so much that we'd probably just end up taking the whole thing for granted.

The love I feel for my TF is like "I has a doppleganger" - If I could love myself in 'external form', this is exactly the form it will take...and despite every attempt I make to say "forget about me, there are better/nicer fish in the ocean if you just go out there and look - don't eat the first minnow you catch on your line"...it's like "I don't care about the other fish, I like eating minnows..." The 'pushing away' just brings us closer together.

[Khalli]

The pushing didn't work, just seems to make the attraction stronger.

and despite every attempt I make to say "forget about me, there are better/nicer fish in the ocean if you just go out there and look - don't eat the first minnow you catch on your line"...it's like "I don't care about the other fish, I like eating minnows..."

Who says nicer is better?

Or that it is a minnow on the line?

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by lancing

To me love is undefinable. It can't be defined by words (adjectives) or actions or human beings or relationships. And it certainly can't be defined by other emotions. For me, it's not needy, it's not indifferent, it's not passion, it's not desire, it's not intensity, it's not agonizing, it's not painful, it's not exclusive. Neediness is neediness, indifference is indifference...etc. To define love with other words...to define it through connections or things that you love...is to make it null. Those things are not love. Those things are what they are. And love is more than intense admiration. Intense admiration could also come from obsession.

If I feel needy, then it's probably because I'd like some support and attention. If I feel desperate it's probably because I fear something, like being alone. If I feel angry, then it's probably because I feel extremely offended by someone's behavior or many other things.

People seek to define things so that they can explain certain behaviors or relationships or even perhaps to judge others or disprove certain things. The truth of the matter is, you don't have to define everything. Some things just are. Hell, there are some that say love is a state of being...maybe. It's beyond definition. However, to say that you love someone is simply an expression of your love not the definition of it...not your reason for it. When I say that I love something it's simply an expression of my love that is within me. That is always within me. It needs nothing to exist. If it is infinitely abundant then it can be felt and expressed in infinite ways. Nothing can take away from it. It is not exclusive it is not dependent upon anything...it is. For me, unconditional love simply opens up the door to so much more.

The love that I feel...indescribable and undefinable.

I thought this was beautiful as how you put it. I thought I knew what TF love was until it blew up and burned to the ground. I believe that others have it or are obsessed with it. I know I have a 3D love with someone very special that could possibly be my TF because of all the years we have spent by each other's side.

I agree with the argument that states what if you are alone? What then? Why does it need to be defined by someone else? I think love is all powerful that is worthy of those that make us shine inside and out, especially for ourselves. Thank you lancing, that was beautiful :)

[lancing]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

I thought this was beautiful as how you put it. I thought I knew what TF love was until it blew up and burned to the ground. I believe that others have it or are obsessed with it. I know I have a 3D love with someone very special that could possibly be my TF because of all the years we have spent by each other's side.

I agree with the argument that states what if you are alone? What then? Why does it need to be defined by someone else? I think love is all powerful that is worthy of those that make us shine inside and out, especially for ourselves. Thank you lancing, that was beautiful :)

Aww...thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. It's beautiful that you such a powerful and supportive connection with someone. And so refreshing to hear. Love to both of you.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by lancing

Aww...thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. It's beautiful that you such a powerful and supportive connection with someone. And so refreshing to hear. Love to both of you.

No thank you for you wonderful post! He is not my "boyfriend" just someone who I love deeply. I dropped all the labels and settled on "best friend" because that's really what we are. We have the type of love that endured time and space and when I was hospitalized during the holidays he visited me in a psych ward on Christmas Day which must have been very scary for him. Thank you again for your insightful post and see you around the forums!

[lancing]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

No thank you for you wonderful post! He is not my "boyfriend" just someone who I love deeply. I dropped all the labels and settled on "best friend" because that's really what we are. We have the type of love that endured time and space and when I was hospitalized during the holidays he visited me in a psych ward on Christmas Day which must have been very scary for him. Thank you again for your insightful post and see you around the forums!

Cool! A relationship like that with someone that isn't a "boyfriend" even more refreshing to hear and even more beautiful. See ya around too!

[hineahuone]

Originally Posted by Anne

One day years ago I had an epiphany, or maybe a heart chakra thing, or both.

It was an overwhelming sense of omg...it does not matter whether we get together or not... I will always love him and cherish that feeling and no one can take it away from me, ever! ....Unconditional acceptance, to me that is Love.

Easy to apply to children, parents, siblings, friends and pets in my world..
but I was shocked the day I could feel it for a romantic interest.

I need to remind myself periodically of what I felt that day.. :-)

That is how I feel about my twin too. I have surrendered him to God and if he comes back it will be so amazing, but I dont want to chase him and trying to force him to love me. That is not love. Love is letting go, the surrender, there is a story in the Bible about the love of a mother for her baby she would rather give the baby to another woman then let the baby be killed. This is how I feel now as my twin spends his nights with someone else.

[TheGlow]

Originally Posted by Emm

Seriously, how would you describe the love you feel? All I seem to read or hear is that it makes us needy and emotional. Is that really all it is? How is this tf love so different to what we call 3D love...what sets this love apart from all others? Dig deep.

To me it felt/feels like seeing God in the flesh. I don't mean as if they are God or to be worshiped but that love you feel when you've shared a moment with the creator, it very much feels like that.

I believe that explains at least for me the longing to be with them. It is said hell is a state of seperation from God. I know my sc isn't necessary to feel gods presence but it is so wonderful to feel that with a person. Just be there and feel that profound pure unwavering love. That was my experience anyways.