musing...

Just an update-

As I wrote before, we have been together for many many years. There is no doubt he is a tf or even something entirely different but very spiritual.

Last year things started to go south. I was having a hard time and began running as I shared in other posts. He picked up on it and it went from bad to worse.

Between March and June there were two really bad blow ups - all email.

I waited awhile and would text periodically.

We have kept this cursory virtual contact. For as bad as it got and believe me, the things that were said were intense on both of our parts, we can't let go. The texts have gotten progressively more comfortable and relaxed.

I have invited him to meet up several times and I consistently get a very abrupt, NO.

Seems he is ok with the texts, but he absolutely does not want any ftf contact.

So I keep wanting to take it the next step and move beyond texts ( remember, this relationship is over 30 years old) because truly, next life or not, I don't want to go out of this one without staying close.

I did some of the exercises that were suggested a couple of weeks ago, and it did help, I think, but I still cannot get past this wall. In a way, I am also a bit uneasy with ftf myself as I don't want to go out for dinner or whatever and have a miserable and tense experience making it bad all over again.

I will continue with the telepathic/astral exercises and see if it works.

I just hate this push pull.

[Xan]

Tuliana... I find that letting go of whatever I'm feeling always works well, whatever happens.


Xan

I agree with Xan.

Frommy own personal exprience I'e found that whenever I've pulled more, he's pushed away When he pulls more, I push. And anything that isn't "real" and/or that doesnt rbign the two of you on a higher level just doesnt feel right at a soul level. I think peoplepick up on that and leave. I've heard of people using spells for their soul connections, I just think thats a very good way of kicking them out of your life for a long while.

I don't want to say you should keep "pushing" through it, as that seems very forceful. But work through your emotions, gently. Continue meditating, practicing exercises. Give both of you time to heal and hopefully you will reunite. Whatever that means for the two of you--as each person/couple is very different.

[mystical]

i have always believed that when twins come together in this life they are on their last incarnation , which is why we have all this stuff going on with our twin souls . ready to clear in this life before we go home?

Thank you.

I know I need to just let it be. If I were to just describe us as individuals without the tf connection, we really are very different people. It is like we are one person but born into entirely difference circumstances. The circumstances have played a big part in the times of seperation, but we always have come back.

I realize that we will need to transcend the circumstances at some level. Not sure if that will ever happen, at least in this lifetime. I guess it will be what it will be.

Maybe you are right about going home. I have told people recently that I have started to feel like I really don't belong here- that I am really different. I am not saying that in an egotistical or narcissistic way, it is just that I see how "humanity" thinks and then I consider how I process and it really isn't the same.

I am not sure where my tf is on his journey. I guess that is for him to know.

[mystical]

i know the feeling . some days i actually get quite excited about going home lol. people think im mad . i have had conversations about it and it fils me with tears. my friends begin to get worried then because they think am i suicidal? lol . but im absolutely fine , i just know what will await me when i leave my journey here . for me its like being on a long holiday and missing my loved ones and occasionaly i do get homesick , but then i hear them tell me they are always with me in my heart and to enjoy my journey in this life because this is my last time here so give it all i have lol

I have always felt different- always seen things from a different perspective. My tf and I talked about it one time and called it trans.... something. We knew we were different and stuck in a place that just wasn't right.

When he started picking a fight, he brought up how I was critical of his surroundings and milieu. Ummmm ok, not several months before he would admit he was very unhappy himself and agreed with me. Whatever.

In some ways, it is like he wants to get his head out of the place he is in, but then gets sucked back in. I can't walk his path for him. He has to come to terms with it himself, or not at all.

Anyway, the older I get, the more I realize that these feelings have been here all of my life.

[Marie]

yes yes yes! I also long to go home! to my Father! and my brethren! where peace and harmony recide! I wont be back until its time for me to help. that goes for my twin too. but then we will help BIG time.

ego must be layed down if a twinship gonna last. you must be able to "hold" the strong energies,and your own luggage,if any,and karma-or what karma comes. Ive found it useful to work with things as soon they come,and to be honest with yourself and your twin. they are there for you or should be,(if not they have issues)and you can make it together. remember, unity and oneness. remember your goal. love. and serving others.

trans, yes transition. some stay in 3d some go to 4th.
Its the game, to not be sucked in,but stay clear. Detachement is useful here.

For me, it isn't so much a feeling of wanting to go somewhere else as it is that I definitely don't belong here. Like being in a country or culture or time in which the values and beliefs are not congruent with mine.
I think I am in a bit of a different place than my tf. Maybe a bit more at peace.

Count me in, wanna go HOME (HEAVEN).

I am at peace & crave the larger picture & understanding, spirtually, I wait on THE LORD, His Perfect Timing & Will Be Done!
(though some days seem much longer than others! lol)