Working on yourself -feeling whole- what does it means?

[LadyShadow]

I have people in my life, and yet I am "alone" for the most of it. I spend my days alone, my nights alone, and with the phone call with my best friend at night that's all I really have. What I experience is perpetual "boredom" So working on myself would mean to me going outside and doing things and being around people.

Being spiritual and making yourself "whole" doesn't come from anyone else. I often feel very lonely so I reach out to forums, chatrooms, whatever, to appease myself. I am sorry you have been alone for so long, and in terms of becoming "whole" I think you are on the right path with your research, praying and spiritual development.

Good luck to you!

[username4this]

LadyShadow
thank you so much :) good luck to you too finding new people and fulfill your life :)

[jro5139]

jro5139
Hope you find new friends soon :)
As for kinds, I dunno maybe Im just that type of person that never wanted them. In fact I remember when I read for the first time women writing that they wanted to feel loved and share their love with somebody so they choose to have kids. My mind was blown away since I never thought of that :O I was actually really impressed by their reasoning but it also said a lot about me that I never thought of that on my own :)
I like kids though, dont have anything against them, just in my case finding my nonexistent kids dad would be hard and I guess that is just not for me :)

intj123
:)


I was just kidding about having kids for love, don't have them, they are miserable lol! I love mine to death but it is a daily struggle dealing with them, I work with kids too and I hate them lol! They do take away the loneliness though. Having them to feel loved? Ok, in the long run I guess, but on a daily basis I just feel exhausted, exasperated, abused, like running away from home, frustrated, taken for granted, broke, and I ask myself everyday why I did this to myself lol.

About the feeling/ being whole and happiness. I have never thought that being whole meant being happy all the time, I look at being whole as being emotionally sound and healthy. You can be emotionally healthy and not be happy with everything in your life, or have moments when you are not happy. I just think someone whole will be more likely to work on what they need to work on to get to happiness. You can also be content, but not happy at every moment. I want to get to a place of being content, I think that is more important then feeling happy all the time. Being content with your life, where it is and what you have. A "whole" person to me is someone with minimal emotional issues or blocks. I have been doing shadow work to work through my own issues and blocks, so that when happiness does present itself you don't stand in your own way. That is why I think someone with few relationships can be whole.

[username4this]

jro5139
Thank you so much for your perspective on kids, they way you write about them it is so precious and in a way - beautiful :) I understand you feel tired but at the end of the day, its a good kind of tired :)

As for you guys mentioned being content as oppose to feel happy, rationally I understand what are you saying, and it does make sense. :)

But, there is a but now :) I guess I never felt content apart in moments when me and my TF were connected, then when we were friends then dated, and in moments when I felt positive that we are gonna be together, spend more time together and ultimately reconcile.
So for me being content was always about him, about me feeling that Im on the right track with him (we were friends at first, then dated and so on) so for me being on the right track with him meant to feel content (and happy).

Besides that I never felt content, always felt like something was missing (before meeting him it was unidentified piece of something that I felt is missing), after meeting him I felt that he both physically and mentally is missing in my life, no matter how many hours we spent in a day it was always not enough for me (thus me being clingy :P) and so on...

It is the strangest feeling of being misplaced all the time, and at the same time knowing that the only place I should be is with him.

The closest thing to explain that feeling is term
Saudade defined in wikipedia:
Saudade is a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves.
(source:en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saudade

Only in my case, after meeting my TF it was the specific longings for him, just him :)

And now in TF terms, people saying mostly on TF blogs and websites, you have to erase every trace of longings, yearning, craving, pining and anything similar in order to feel whole on the inside, to feel content.
It is hard, for ordinary people like I am, it is virtually impossible.

Well, yeah that's it, just wanted to explain and write more about it, Im super grateful to all of you guys for reading my texts and responding to me, it really means a lot :)

[Ripple]

I am in a similar situation to you OP. It is very hard to feel that energy around you and not have them in your life. I know that I must get the point of accepting that she is around me but not physically around me and be alright with that. For a while I blocked the energy because I feel much more content when I am just alone and dont feel her around me. When I feel her around me it makes me anticipate being together in the physical realm. That anticipation is uncomfortable and makes me feel less than "whole". I realized that I could not block her anymore. This is something I must learn before moving forward. I must learn to deal with feeling her energy and learn how to get beyond the anticipation. To just enjoy feeling her energy for what it is and not for what I want it to be. I am not there yet by a long shot but maybe one day it will click. I dont have much to add but wanted you to know that you are not alone in not feeling "whole" some of the time. It is a battle that many of us have to fight. The lesson is an amazing gift if we can learn to master it.

[username4this]

Ripple
thank you so much, it really means a lot to know that there are people that feel the same way I feel about my TF :)
Wishing you the best and to be reunited with you TF as soon as it possible :)