Up date on my situation .

[Kiwigirl11]

I don't come on here very often anymore but after reading a few threads on here thought i would kind of update my situation .It may answer some questions about what to expect on this crazy tf/sc journey .
My tf/Sc journey began in 2011 ,well actually in 2009 when a complete stranger sent me a friends request on fb ,i say complete stranger ,i had see him about our sports club but had never spoken to him ,didn't even know his name .Anyway ,i wont go into details on everything that has happened as it would take forever but we have been doing the so called tf dance all these years .We have done the long periods of time without contact ,1 year was the longest we were without contact but yes he always comes back ..Last year he moved to Sydney Australia ,then 8 moths later moved back to my home city .Although it completely devastated me when he moved, i now look back and it had it's purpose .We were in contact most days and we completely opened up to each other about our feelings while he was over there ,if he had been still living down the road i know there would have been too much fear to open up ..Anyway ,he told me he wanted to come back and he wanted me ,well he did come back in oct last year and sent me a message saying he wanted to stay with his wife and told me family was everything etc etc .Yes to say i was hurt would be an understatement ,i was a complete mess for days but the next week after that here he was again messaging me about random little things .This went on for a few months up until his birthday .I had been debating wether or not to message him on his birthday ,i always have ,even though he doesn't alway wish me a happy birthday ..Anyway i decided not to ,the next day he contacted me about something random and then posted on fb about how amazing his birthday was and that it was the best birthday he had in a long time and that his family were everything etc etc ...Then just after ,he poked me on FB ,it was like he was wanted a response ,so yeah i gave him a response .I sent him a long message ,saying he's made it quite clear he doesn't want me and that his family is everything ,so quit messaging me ,poking me etc ,basically let me move on if you don't want me .He just said he was sorry and that was that ..I went to unfriend him and my computer shut down and when i got it going again i just decided to unfollow him ,so i don't see his constant ** on fb ...Just my p
ersonal opinion but i find those who post how happy their life is are anything but happy and i know and can sense he is not happy at all ...Anyway moving on to 2 weeks ago ,i hadn't heard anything from him for 5 months ,then i posted up a pic of myself and my sports team and out of the blue he messaged me saying i looked nice and he hoped i was ok .I wasn't going to message back but i did and just said thanks ...He then messaged that we should catch up over a drink sometime and we need to keep in contact ....I could'nt believe it ..There was no apology ,no explanation ,no romantics ,him saying he had missed me ,nothing ,just lets meet up ...I just said nice hearing from you and have left it at that .I know he was upset but what do they expect ?....I have never chased this guy ,i have never asked for anything from him ,except his honesty and it seems he can't even give me that at this stage .So am just going to keep on working on me ,he needs to work on himself .

Well that's where i am at at this stage.I am doing ok ,i think as time goes on and you heal, the less it hurts and the less you take personally but it still does confuse the heck out of me ...But i do know this for anyone who has questions ....

1-they always come back ,if it is a true Soul connection
2-this is not a romantic connection ,so don't expect roses ,nice birthday messages etc .
3-this is about personal growth and you do grow and heal after going through some really tough times
4-always go within and actually do the work .


Much love and hugs to all ,kiwi x