Relationships and fake friends

Some people find the relaionships in this family somewhat strange, and as a result I lost what I thought was a good friend, turns out she wasn't!
Let me explain.
I am engaged to my female partner, we go together in April 2011.
My ex (who is also father to all 3 children) also lives with us.
He also fathered Aiden in 2012. Karla (my current partner) and I wanted a baby to bring up as our own, so rather than going through the costly and emotionally draining IVF, we decided my ex Martyn should father the baby.
So, with Karla's full permission we decided that we would try it for just one month and if it didn't work that would be it, end of story.
So that's what we did, and it worked!
Most people have told me to kick Martyn out, that we're not together now so he shouldn't be here etc - which sounds perfectly normal BUT those people have not seen the tears fall from our children's eyes when we brought up the subject with them.
So Martyn stays here, there is no bad words between us, we all get on well, we pay for things between the 3 of us and most importantly our children remain happy in a stable and loving household.
We've been called sick, been told it's so wrong, it might not be normal fair enough, but all that matters to us is that our children are happy.

[samantha]

I don't see it as being sick and it could probably work as long as you all are happy with the situation, and the kids are the main thing if its going to cause them too much distress i wouldn't change. It was real kind of ur ex to do that for you and ur partner. Never mind others if ur ok and happy stay as u r

[SpiritCarrier]

I'm sorry that your friend was not genuine. As far as your family is concerned I think as long as you and your partner are happy and the children are content with the situation then don't worry about what others think or say. I found out long ago that people judge far to easily and I made a promise to myself that I would not be that way. "Until you have walked a mile in someones shoes then you don't have the right to judge them", my mother use to say that and I believe it is one of the wisest things I hold on to.

Be happy and don't let anyone make you feel, 'sick or unhealthy' just because you may not have a conventional family. Whatever works for you is all that matters. I admire that you are willing to put the children first.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Peace and Light be with you,
SC

What might be good for the kids may not work out for the entire family ...
You & Karla have choosen to raise the child as your own, however, Martyn will always be the legal biological father ...
He has rights that could interfere w/both your plans once the newest addition to the family arrives ...
I'm not a nay sayer ...
Its something worth considering ...
You & Karla might want to have a Plan B in place ...
For now, it sounds great ...
Good luck ...

Livingkarma - the newest addition arrived almost 16 months ago now!! :)
Things are going well, we all get on still and everybody's happy x

Originally Posted by Lexie060812

Livingkarma - the newest addition arrived almost 16 months ago now!! :)
Things are going well, we all get on still and everybody's happy x

Congratulations!

Sounds like your friends each have a problem w/understanding love & relationships ...

[muileag]

Much happiness to your family!

Your family dynamics must have struck a raw nerve with your friend; perhaps she isn't happy with herself and her living situation, so she had to "tear yours down."

[MermaidDreamer]

Do what works for you all. I would love for this to be my reality once I begin a family. You're proof that it can work. Thank you for sharing your story.

Sometimes, ego gets all the way in the way, but that doesn't seem to be the case here. AWESOME!!!

As for friends... BLAH! Often times, the opinions of OUTSIDERS is what tears situations apart. Focus. Your children are happy. Their father is cool. Your partner is cool. You're cool. Those are the only things that matter. Eff those that can't get with it!!! They only WISH that they were as free as the three of you.

God Bless!

Thank you all :)
well the "friend" that treated us like rubbish has since become a single parent after pushing her husband away, so I guess there's an element of jealousy there.
Oh well, we can't please everybody can we! :)

[HauntedTexas]

Only you have enough information regarding your life decisions.. I've learned that when I'm told what I should do by someone, if (or when) things get tough, I have somebody to blame it on. Where as, if I make the decisions after gathering all the info I can from folks, I tend to work harder to follow through and succeed.
The other thing about "friends" reminds me of something I read. When you have worked hard at improving your life and made the tough decisions, people tend to automatically sabotage all your work in order to knock you back down to their level so they don't feel so bad about their lives, and laziness... All the best to all y'all and I hope your situation is always filled with love.