What NOT To Do Before Deliberately Attracting

[Nicholas D'Arezzo]

This is about an unspoken yet very important rule to follow when attempting to make personal changes in your life via manifestation. These changes can be the changing of your career, the modification of your personal beliefs, or the manifestation of a fulfilling marriage. The reason this is commonly overlooked is it must be understood and committed to before you decide on exactly how you want what you want.

What I’m talking about is keeping to yourself. It will most likely be in your best interests not to discuss your decision to start making self-improvements if the person you would like to tell has nothing to do with the changes you wish to make. Otherwise, you risk exposing yourself to unneeded opinions and ridicule.

I'm not saying that everyone is going to give you an unpopular opinion, but it will happen and a small remark can go a long way. This can lead you to discouragement and your eventual abandonment from your attempts to change. Therefore, it's best to keep to yourself, accomplish your goals and let your new lifestyle be the example.

Keep to yourself and lay low when going through any transition that requires focus and willpower. Don't tell anyone what you are doing. Don't tell anyone what you are attempting to achieve. Don't tell anyone until you reached your goals and you can't be stopped from achieving them, because you are already there.

When undergoing change your mind is rewiring itself, which adds extra stress to your life. Also, when making changes, you begin to resonate differently which causes friction in different areas of your life. All of these instances are happening simultaneously. All of these instances require you to keep a dedicated focus in order to stay grounded because they will poke and jab at your intestinal fortitude from different angles.

Instead of getting up and leaving your current way of living, you have to outgrow it until your current lifestyle can no longer hold you in, like when children outgrow clothes. This is because when you grow, you’re sustaining higher energies and higher frequencies which will be higher than the current vibrations you currently coexist with. As you grow, your new energies repel the old energies as they draw in the like. This swapping in and out will create some chaos.

It's bad enough that you will automatically be surfacing unintended and unwanted consequences in the form of friction, the moment you move in a new direction. It’s bad enough you will be dealing with old issues you thought you left behind long ago when they surface and slow you down. It’s bad enough you are a human being who needs plenty of time to develop, grow and change for the better. It's bad enough that old wounds don't heal overnight.

It’s bad enough!

That said, the last thing you need is an outside influence telling you that you're going to fail or suggest anything that promotes uncertainty. Worse than that is, usually the people you share personal information with are the ones who you are close to. Adverse responses coming from those who are close to you will sting harder. Also, their response, if disapproving, may be enough to discourage you.

Don't let that happen. Stay quiet and be diligent.

Sometimes your attempts to make changes are perceived as a threat to the relationship you hold with the person you are telling, so they discourage you in order to manipulate you to keep things as they are. Sometimes the people you tell don't want to hear it because it forces them to look within and realize that they should do the same, so they talk down to the idea to feel better about their lack of initiating any responsibility for the way they are living. I’m sure there are enough reasons to fill a book on why you may receive disparaging remarks towards your attempts to become better. The bottom line is we can only speak from what we know, and if we don't know much then we will speak with what little we know from a closed mind.

There is one exception to the rule of keeping to yourself while making self-improvements. It is the only exception to the rule of keeping your affairs to yourself. If you are in a close relationship with someone or married to someone, then I suggest you both do this together. The more the merrier when it comes to manifestation, assuming the combined focus is on the same outcome. Two people in a close relationship, who are living with each other, will have a common foundation. This foundation is where they can build a mutually fulfilling lifestyle that can be mutually enjoyed. If this is your case, then keep it between the two of you until you have both succeeded.

In some cases, your dreams and goals may require you to make changes in your schedule and daily routine that will directly influence others. If this is the case, and you are inquired about it, then don't give the holistic version that includes your aspirations. Tell it as it is on a need-to-know basis.

As far as reading self-help books go, I find it refreshing to see a self-help book on someone's desk or side table. I don't think it's self-sabotaging to let people know you are reading a self-help book, just as long as you don't admit that you are applying its methods. Just tell the people who like to pry “and probably need to mind their own business” that the book looked interesting to you, or you heard about it from a friend and want to see what it’s all about.

You should entirely avoid the people who like to pry into the lives of others. These people are gossipers, and dealing with defamation is the last thing you want when trying to make personal changes. Also, if you find that you are uncomfortable in your own skin, you should avoid the topic altogether. As I see it, mentioning to others that you are trying to make or manifest changes in your life can only work against you.

On a side note, if your attempts to relate to my suggestion creates turmoil within, then you might be dealing with an obsessive need for approval. If this is your case, then you must do whatever it takes to remove your constant need for acceptance and approval from your repertoire. Always looking for the “green light” from others will put you on a never-ending emotional roller coaster.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Nicholas D'Arezzo

What I’m talking about is keeping to yourself. It will most likely be in your best interests not to discuss your decision
to start making self-improvements if the person you would like to tell has nothing to do with the changes you wish to make.
Otherwise, you risk exposing yourself to unneeded opinions and ridicule.

Very true!

[Truth307]

Originally Posted by Nicholas D'Arezzo

This is about an unspoken yet very important rule...

Great post once again :)

[Izz]

Sometimes your attempts to make changes are perceived as a threat to the relationship you hold with the person you are telling, so they discourage you in order to manipulate you to keep things as they are. Sometimes the people you tell don't want to hear it because it forces them to look within and realize that they should do the same, so they talk down to the idea to feel better about their lack of initiating any responsibility for the way they are living

Yes I've seen things like this happen

I as very commited to something I really want

[Ewwerrin]

Reasonable advice.

You can also simply understand that "other people" are conditional, and conditions don't really exist outside of you. Infact, conditions don't exist at all. It's always all you.

So other people messing with you, is basically you messing with yourself. And when you stop doing that, then... Conditions will stop messing with you? No... YOU will stop messing with yourself. YOU get out of your own way.

Because there exists no one here except you. If you cannot trust yourself, then you eternally have a problem. Because that distrust of self and its self contradiction is relative to who you truely are. As all as one as all as one.

You create your own reality. Very easy. Does that mean you cannot create the experience that other people exist outside of you? Yeah you can... And thats you. And your experience that you create out of your being. As there will never be anything else to create anything from.

So are you afraid of yourself? That is a helpful and meaningful and significant question to ask.

Instead of trying look outside of yourself for a fix to problems that you create for yourself. Get rid of the fear of yourself, and you will naturally stop creating problems for yourself. Because those two are the same.

[Rebecca Waters]

Wow this thread really good, lots of great information.