how do you heal from a narcissist?

[WildHairedWoman]

Originally Posted by Native spirit

Please be aware that a Narcissist suffers from a mental health disorder
any advice given should reflect that.

At some point it is more about choices, choosing to believe the worst of people rather than accept the evidence in front of you.

Yes, that is mental illness, but it is self induced, not something like schizophrenia that can be helped with medication or counseling.

[inavalan]

That is symptomatic thinking for an abuse victim, which she obviously can't control, and results in more abuse. This is why she needs competent help.

It isn't self induced.

[one-light]

Hi alexis.l.s.h you must be so confused right now - so why don't we keep it simple, you 'don't' have to reply to everyone individually - just say what you want to say when your are ready, step at a time...

[alexis.l.s.h]

do you think its ok to guard even if you know you have a duty to forgive people? basically can you still guard and forgive? honestly though alot of these people seem to be unwavering with their ways of manipulation, dishonesty, and conflict, its like they love it. when you want to branch out and make positive connections with other people but these negative people wont allow it, how do you respond to that while keeping positive toward people, how do you choose health and healing for everyone involved, how do i choose love now?

Health, Healing, and happiness

[xoxoOraclexoxo]

I will add a post because I have a specialization in mood, personality and character disorders (as a counselor) and studied cluster b disorders extensively.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is organic, genetic, inheritable and unalterable. Those who are truly diagnosable (it is a spectrum) do not possess empathy, have no sense of wrongdoing, cannot differentiate between right and wrong and are incapable of remorse.

It may be a malformation in the hypothalamus and it cannot be treated.

As to forgiveness, I would submit that one would forgive those with the heart to accept and honor it-and have the capacity to learn and grow.

An NPD is emotionally arrested at approximately 6 years of age. They do not feel love. Instead, the feelings of rage, anger, etc. produce the same neurotransmitter releases in the brain that normal people experience when feeling love.

It is exceedingly complicated, but narcissistic abuse can cause what is termed “psychological homicide”.

The only sound advice, in a therapeutic setting, is “no contact”, “limited contact” and the practice of non-reactivity.

One thing to keep in mind is that you cannot do them any emotional harm-because they are not able to emotionally connect with others. I hope this helps in some way.

❤️

[inavalan]

Originally Posted by alexis.l.s.h

do you think its ok to guard even if you know you have a duty to forgive people? basically can you still guard and forgive? honestly though alot of these people seem to be unwavering with their ways of manipulation, dishonesty, and conflict, its like they love it. when you want to branch out and make positive connections with other people but these negative people wont allow it, how do you respond to that while keeping positive toward people, how do you choose health and healing for everyone involved, how do i choose love now?

Health, Healing, and happiness

It depends on your beliefs.

I don't believe that we have to (must) forgive anybody.

Such a belief is negative to us, because it creates in us the fear of making the mistake of not forgiving.

Spiritually, fear is the worst we can do to our selves. Fear isn't inflicted on us from outside, it is something that we do to ourselves.

[Maturee]

I don't know what you really want or confuse at, consultation gives anwser to your confiscation and healing,reply your with your name for your consultation.

[SikuX]

Originally Posted by alexis.l.s.h

sorry, but i need to talk about something dark for a minute. ive had to deal with a narcissistic father for years, ive yet to even come close to not fearing them. these people that seem to defy the laws of existence to me, how could they be?im still having to learn not to guard around everyone, to give people a second chance to have a relationship with me, even if they try to hurt me at first. i still struggle with forgiveness. how do you heal after being drained from narcissists?
Health, Healing and Happiness

Hello! My views on this subject are a bit unorthodox. And you'll see. I'm an empath and I've had many dealings with narcissists. Been catfished twice, etc.

I've realized over time, opposites attract. It's almost like a part of you wants a challenge or you are so loving that you want to see the best in anyone. If that sounds like you, don't lose it. It's beautiful and should not ever be extinguished by ANYONE. Let that be your suit of armor when you fear narcissists.

I used to be on the science side of things very strongly mirroring others here. But a spiritual awakening and roller-coaster of pain journey showed me otherwise. I used to deem it purely mental health and genetics and did A LOT of doorslamming. I regret it all now.

Now, I call it the loved and the unloved. Narcissists need love, which is why victims exist in the first place. Part of them knows what they are missing. If you're smart enough to take advantage you are smart enough to change your stripes. Us loving people need to call them out on their **, and make them change or leave them behind. Force the belief that love is not naive, they are! That's my advice to you. Don't be afraid of them, love them until they backstab you. Give anyone an honest chance. Otherwise, you've done what they wanted you to do, closed off your strong-loving heart in fear in the guise of experience and full of your past hurt you wear like a badge of honor. A false armor imho. Your heart is now only stitched up, not healed.

The fact that you want to even forgive, says a lot about you. Beautiful, you. <3

Personally, and take it with a grain of salt; I see narcissists and manipulators as children. Children who have enough empathy for themselves but suddenly not others'? It makes zero sense. They just confuse pleasure with love. Again, the un-loved. Force your love with careful and strong boundaries when dealing with them. Just don't doorslam, otherwise the cycle will continue on continuously. Never give up on a fellow human-being except if they are truly 'that' far gone beyond redemption. Most of these narcissists are full of traumatic pasts or seen too much "real" ****, that we're quick to forget that while we're book smart about them in the third person. Empaths can 'feel' them and their very real hurt underneath all those layers of "science" explaining their behaviors....

Whatever you do, stay YOUrself in all this. I say, you don't really even need to be in here with your already strong sentiments. ;)

Tread lightly with your mind and past. Walk fast and strong with your heart. Love is strong, love is a super-power! Don't ever let anyone think your strong heart is naive. <3

I grow weary of people with high IQs not acknowledging or grasping the concept of someone with a high EQ, as "competent". Ever. Especially when it comes to matters such as these. Quick to books and experience over OP's feelings. Imho, I don't like you all rudely talking about her in the third person and using her as a subject for your views. Please. :( All I personally see as symptomatic is that some people aren't be accountable for their actions (deemed mentally disabled) and society, one's ego, and popular opinion are abusive towards people who love with a huge heart. Making them lessen themselves. Calling them overly emotional and naive. Worst of all... FAKE. THAT is the cycle which breeds more narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths imo. Telling them that true love does not exist when bestowing "competence" and false wisdom fueled by an ego or self-hurt/"realism". Which makes them so clingy to the real thing without changing who they are when they should. Give people something to believe in and no more hypocritical words such as competence! No one is in any of their shoes.... Divine love to ALL! That is healing to the unloved. Examples that tear down their broken hearts not able to feel the divine love in us all. Love is in the heart, not the mind.

[Izz]

Take steps to undo the gaslighting (narcissists often start subtle or have done damage more so in subtle ways rather than obvious ways), focus on certain goals and objectives (keep some of them away from the narcissist), and do not give in to a narc's isolation games

Keep in mind that a narcissist truly hates when anyone be it the spouse or children out-shine them in any way

(some of it)

[RedEmbers]

I have a mentor who I found online - her videos and course have given me a practical framework for recovery and emotional - regulation which is very common (DISREGULATION) in people with CPTSD from abuse.