Identifying a block to my progress that might help

[Sozerius]

Each time I raise very strong feeling spiritual energy (through meditation,) it is often followed by a 'down time' where my faculties do not seem to sync as effectively with energy for at least a few days. I often thought that this was just natural, but my recent findings about myself, and the nature of energy interactions, have led me to discover that it may be due to an issue I have had - and one that may be helpful to understand for others who also work with energy. This issue may be a common one.

Essentially, I have an emotional issue where, for various reasons, I reject the feelings of love on a subconscious level in order to protect myself. I can feel this in the energy too - it is felt as a heaviness that surrounds my chest and seems to block out feelings of warmth. Now, for those who don't know, the heart and chest area draw and generate a significant amount of the energy that you work with on account of their natural interaction with it. Additionally, the energy that I was drawing powerfully in my meditation sessions was directly feeding this heavy energy that I felt around my heart - thereby strengthening the residue of my past trauma instead of reacting to my intent. This also caused me to become weakened in my spiritual senses for awhile, as the powerful energy was working against me in this way.

On account of this, and because it took me several years to realize what the true issue was - I decided to share this here. I am currently working on releasing my thought patterns and residual spiritual energies, and feelings, which relate to my past issues, so that I can heal and also work more effectively with spiritual energy. While I always knew that emotions were important, I always attributed this importance to volatility, such as bouts of anger. I did not realize that my feelings relating to love would also affect the energy that I raise so strongly.

Hopefully this information helps others in their workings. I know that it helps me. Not everyone seems to understand the direct impact that subconscious issues have on spiritual energy. Your conscious mind is important, but your subconscious, and your heart, directly affect energy that you work with. For this reason, it is important to deal with the psychology, even that which is latent, of the mind and heart, to become fully capable in a spiritual and magical way.

[Unseeking Seeker]

***

Thanks for sharing.

Blocks are essentially fears (mirror image of desire) rooted in attachment to mind-body identity. As such, this is natural. Simple polarity rotation between the external ephemeral and internal eternal gently steers our attention inwards, until it becomes our priority, our fulcrum, our reflex instinct.

***