Continuing unwanted drama

[AnneC2013]

I been married to my husband for 7 years, we been living in his parents home. We have three kids together. There has always been drama with this family even with my brother and sister in laws. His mom makes 95% of our arguments. I almost divorce him 2 years ago but I thought about my kids that’s what stopped me. He won’t leave his mother it greatly bothers me. He ignores what I feel and simple things I ask help with but does everything for his mom. I just want us to separate from his parents and we get our own apartment or home. But he saids he can’t. She tells him that he is nothing without her, she’s the only good woman in his life. I feel insulted because then who am I?? The precedes to tell him if he leaves her he will be poor and live on the streets and hand to mouth existence. I said immediately it’s not true but he believes her. And his mom and his family makes small things into big dramatic things and say what ever insulting things to me and he won’t stand up for me. I Told him we can stand on our own we don’t have to move far from her but u will always be her son and u can see her. I need u as a husband and as a father to our kids. Furthermore explained I can’t live like this anymore. It’s causing depression in me. He gets mad at me told me to grow up. Indeed that’s a selfish thing to say. So i want to leave him actually divorce him. I don’t see my place in this situation his mom over rules my decision and I’m told to let it go let her have her way. This isn’t fair. Any advice or anything anyone sees clairvoyance on this I would appreciate the help.

[iamthat]

He gets mad at me told me to grow up.

It sounds as if your husband is the one who needs to grow up and stop being tied to his mother's apron strings. Perhaps he feels a desperate need for his mother's approval, and so he will never take your side over hers.

This situation is not working for you, and I suspect in the long run it is not healthy for your children. What kind of role models are they seeing in their life?

Leaving him and getting a divorce may be difficult in the short term but in the long term you may think it is the best thing you ever did.

And as long as you are stuck with him and his family you are denying yourself any real chance at happiness.

Good luck.

[AnneC2013]

I’m very miserable that’s the thing it’s like I married a man child he wasn’t like that when we married he became more like that after our second child

Hi AnneC2013,

The current situ is toxic and not going to go anywhere as is.

You need a break from this and your husband NEEDS a wake up call-big time.

Alternatively,maybe separation,rather than divorce,and see if his outlook changes.

Either way,it's not healthy for you,nor is your husband going to change anytime soon.

Drastic times call for drastic measures.

Take care and best of luck with whatever you decide.

[AnneC2013]

It looks like I’m going that route of leaving him

[The Eternal Soul]

Originally Posted by AnneC2013

It looks like I’m going that route of leaving him

There really is no other option.

That sounds like a messed up way to "live". You owe it to yourself to get out, and the sooner the better.