The internal pain and sadness

[sapphirerose]

It hurts. It really hurts. No, I can’t be with her - I know that. We will never be. I feel so useless and empty. I am depleted of energy. I am numb. I am trying to accept the pain, and I can feel it all so deeply. Through our encounters, as I watch her from afar, while she talks, she has no idea of the effect she has on me. She will never know. She is so radiant, so warm - with eyes that tell a thousand stories and a soul that pulls me towards her. Her energy, her presence, her body, her words, her voice, her being - I feel so much love for her. Yet, it is hopeless.

I do not know how long she will remain in my life - it may be longer than I expect, but I know she is here to teach me a lesson. My heart is aching for her, yet I cannot express it. I want to scream - is it so wrong to love another whom is out of my reach? I have been through this before, and I know I can get through it again. I need to let go, and focus on myself. I’m just waiting for this longing, this craving, to disappear.

I simply wish her the greatest happiness. I hope she is loved, adored, fulfilled and happy within herself, and in her life.

[Ziusudra]

Originally Posted by sapphirerose

I simply wish her the greatest happiness. I hope she is loved, adored, fulfilled and happy within herself, and in her life.

This is beautiful and loving...
Thanks for showing unconditional love.
She is truly luck ...to have you.
In turn, you also should be loved, adored, fufilled and happy w yourself and in your life...

[Tortoise Walks]

Originally Posted by sapphirerose

We will never be.

It hurts right now, yes... take time for yourself. you’re love is beautiful!

This part quoted though... Isn’t a comment like this an expectation? How do you know this is a forever truth?

i read similar statements like this a lot on this forum... and while I understand the need to be ok with what IS, as in right now... and somehow bracing and shoring ourselves up for the undesired future we think we see coming. I feel like sometimes we can make more heartache and drama for ourselves by writing and projecting a final future story that really we have no idea about. Nor do we even want!

Maybe you won’t... maybe you will... maybe you will but it is different than what you originally desired or thought of.

I’m definitely not saying to flip it around and say “I know we will be...” but maybe feel inside if it is helpful for you remain open to unknown possibilities without creating expectation around it about tomorrow and develop acceptance and compassion for the very real discomfort and pain you are feeling now.

Or is saying “it will never be” or “it’s impossible in this lifetime” particularly helpful for you and others in ways I don’t understand? Maybe motivating you not to stay stuck? Does not knowing either way create a limbo such that moving forward is challenging? Or do you really feel like you know this future to be true without any doubt? Just curious about how we talk to ourselves...

Hugs,

TW