Advice For an HSP Mother

[LolKat]

I'm a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), so I can really feel the emotion and energy someone is holding/putting out. And toddlers put out A LOT of energy and emotion. My son is currently in his tantrum two's faze, and it is really difficult to stand strong on some things when I KNOW how he is feeling. There are certain things I will not budge on, because I want him to be safe (pants and shoes when playing in the backyard, sunscreen at the beach or pool and so on), and I always give him a hug and an "I love you," when he does get upset, but I don't know how to stand firm on other topics that aren't a big deal. He wants, and he can't/I won't let him (letting our dog go into the front yard. Throwing a stick in my general direction, refusing to let me change his diaper, making him help put away his toys, ect.)

Any advice to help me better handle things, at least from my end? I would really appreciate it!

[FairyCrystal]

Learn to have healthy boundaries. So important when you're HSP. I used to have none until a few years back. I wasn't even aware I had none until I was 38-40!
Also learn to ground and shield and to cleanse your energy system at least daily. It should be part of your daily self-care routine.
And if you're really HSP I'd strongly recommend a course in intuitive development. There you will learn to deal with your energy system, how to ground, not go to someone else with your energy (SO exhausting!!! yet HSPs can tend to do that all the time. Again cos you have no boundaries).
You will also learn to cleanse your energy system.
I did the first 3 courses, each course being 3 months with a course day every fortnight.
Before I could not handle much. People visiting, going out, loud music, and so on, it wore me out. I even needed to go upstairs sometimes when people visited us to recharge.
After those courses I was totally fine. You learn control. Meaning you learn to switch off your intuition (feeling your son's feelings and/or being affected by it). But especially learning to not energetically go out of your body towards another (this is why you get tired of visitors) AND learn to ground and cleanse.
Priceless!! I am so glad I did these courses as they changed my life around.

There's also books and courses for HSP parents AND for parents of an HSP child. Have you ever considered the fact he is one too and as such he picks up your feelings and emotions and emotional wobbles? Maybe you rub each other up the wrong way.
New Age parents also get New Age children. And all children that are born these days are New Age children. Has been that way for quite some time now.
If you learn to control your energy and HSP -which is possible- you may find your son becomes much easier to deal with. Toddler or not, they're not all so extreme ya know :)

[LolKat]

Oh, courses! I'm going to try those because I understand everything you mentioned before you took the courses. My husband has a big family, so after spending a little while with them, I have to go upstairs and chill or nap. I'm definitely the butt of the joke there. Lol But I do love them.

I have definitely considered he may be an HSP as well. He has been very sympathetic at a young age. And I feel so horrible for him! He doesn't know how to deal with his own emotions, let alone other people's! That's why I try to be as comforting and "safe" for him as I can be. I know what it's like when someone sees that you are upset and tells you to "suck it up." He won't be hearing that from me. Right now, I'm trying to help him name emotions (he's still pretty young, so it's usually just me saying, "Oh, bud, I know you feel so frustrated." Or "I know you're angry, and I'm sorry.")

I will look into everything you mentioned. I honestly just realized a was an HSP very recently. I can't remember how or why or when, but it occurred to me that I was taking responsibility for feelings that weren't even mine. "Oh no, they feel sad. I can tell. How do I fix it? Did I do something wrong?" etc., etc., etc. So, any suggestions are truly welcome! I'm sort of branching out from what I've been doing in the past, and it's kind of a slow go, and a lonely one, as well.

Thanks FairyCrystal!

[ajake11231]

Every mother in this World is Highly Sensitive Person(HSP). Yeah you right but you have to stay strong for your child because i believe your child age is in between 2 to 4 years. am i right? you have to divert his mind from those thing which you think that it's not capable for him. but main idea is you have to give your all attention to him because that period of age time he needs you. He needs you more than anything. It's mother duty or you can say it's mother first priority to give her all attention to his child. Now lets talk about your main issues. If you are not managing those stuff like pants and shoes etc then go for a low quality because its not about World what they say or criticize your child. Its all about your love and care for your child. Do it for your son not for the World. Yeah that's a good idea you hugged him and says i love you add one ingredient kiss his forehead and appreciate him with all your heart. Mam one more thing sometimes life send us where we can't stable our self where we can't stand up. but that's the time where you have to take step for your self for your loved ones. Always remember time flies.
You know time flies so fast, day by day lefts us. with or without smile but have faith that the new day will come and you got what you need what you want. That's the spirit what World need from you.

[abhishekmayya]

Being a highly sensitive person means you've got to parent yourself as much as anyone else. Give yourself breaks to avoid getting overstimulated, take some quiet time and get enough sleep. And don't forget to have your milk and cookies and read yourself a bedtime story.

[LolKat]

Originally Posted by abhishekmayya

And don't forget to have your milk and cookies and read yourself a bedtime story.

Milk and cookies! Got it. ;P