Any aghoris in here?

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by kralaro

Also thank you for asking him about free will and thanks to him for replying :)

I suspect that the "Are you God?" was influenced by i asking you that have you ever asked him.

Thanks.

No problems.

Yes, a few of those questions I asked on your behalf and also for anybody else who wanted to know. I'm happy you understood this.

Om Namah Shivay

[Shivani Devi]

Namaste.

Just saw an awesome movie yesterday. It has been on my 'must watch' list for about a month now and last night I finally got around to doing so and was not disappointed!

It is called Naan Kadavul/Aham Brahmasmi/I am Brahman.

Here it is with English subtitles:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFxEEDTgK-E

Yeah, by watching it, I made the whole re-connect to what it was I have been experiencing, but couldn't put a label on it or apply it anywhere and in any way.

Not to mention that Arya is a delicious piece of sub-continent eye candy. I'm not totally dead yet, let's just put it that way! lol

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1mSaiGx_gu...Actor_arya.jpg

शूलटङ्कपाशदण्डपाणिमादिकारणं
श्यामकायमादिदेवमक्षरं निरामयम् ।
भीमविक्रमं प्रभुं विचित्रताण्डवप्रियं
काशिकापुराधिनाथकालभैरवं भजे ॥३॥

Shuula-Ttangka-Paasha-Danndda-Paannim-Aadi-Kaarannam
Shyaama-Kaayam-Aadi-Devam-Akssaram Nir-Aamayam |
Bhiimavikramam Prabhum Vicitra-Taannddava-Priyam
Kaashikaa-Pura-Adhinaatha-Kaalabhairavam Bhaje ||3||

Om Namo Bhagavate Rudraya

[Shivani Devi]

Namaste.

I've been in very deep thought and rumination all day about my whole lineage and sampradaya. I say that I am Aghori because I worship Siva in the form of Bhairava, I am also a Tantrika, but I don't associate with The Trika School of Shaivism and I'm much closer to being a Jain than anything else.

I don't believe in eating dead people to prove a point and I don't smoke cannabis either (or very rarely), I do not have a human skull as a begging bowl, but apart from that, all the Aghora rites and rituals are also my own, but there's also a lot of Puranic influence in there as well and at times I am praying to Siva in full-on duality, at other times I am recognising myself as Bhairava...so yup it can be confusing to know whether I am Arthur or Martha most days...so I check the whole Saivite Lineage tree thing again:



Oh, I see...I worship both the Puranic and the non-Puranic form...I am both Shaivadvaita and Shaivasiddhanta in fact, the only thing there is in common with any of it is the 'Worship of Rudra'.

So, I forget about trying to put myself into a nice little box because I belong to all of those Shaivite schools, yet I come unstuck at the incongruous teachings...and how do I reconcile ANY of it with the Vedic concept of Brahman, which I strongly disagree with due to experience?

Then, I was steered towards a particular concept I have been trying to get my head around for days on here, as I reply to threads about 'spiritual sovereignty', 'discernment', 'is god's nature 'in house'? I reply to all these threads trying to put my finger on what I am trying to realise for myself, yet just slightly missing the mark every time.

...until just now!

The concept of God I am most aligned with is called Svatantrya:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Svatantrya

This proposes that God exists as separate from our will/ego, but we can avail ourselves of His Will and Grace (good name for a TV show) at any time, simply by acknowledging it thus and it is impossible to 'become' it without acknowledging it as something we already are and yet, it still exists independently from what we are as well...it wouldn't be Siva if it were any other way (as per the Puranic viewpoint).

So yeah, pretty much still Aghori, as that comes the closest, but it's not quite it either. I'm still fondly embracing the duality until non-duality is achieved, then going back to embracing duality again...I mean, why do realised souls still worship the Gods anyway? They should all be just sitting in meditation in that state of Samadhi for the rest of their lives...but nope, even the Aghori, after realising they are Rudra still do the Rudra oblations as if to 'worship themselves' somehow and I often think 'why does God need to worship and love Himself? talk about Divine vanity here...' but that's a topic for another day.

Aum Namah Shivaya

[Shivani Devi]

My consciousness is undergoing a huge re-construction as I move from the path of a Sadhaka to the path of a Rishi.

All day long I have been singing the Sarvalinga Stava and Shiva Darshana Stotram without knowing why.....they are hymns to Shiva I learned in my youth and thought I had totally forgotten it...until now.

The adorable Lord of all bliss, all love, all mercy
The supreme light that shines in my heart
The Lord who fed Sambandhar and Appar
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

The Great Ancient, the Goal of Yogis
The Supreme Purusha that dwells in the Puri
The Adi Deva, whom the Vedas sing of
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

The pillar of light which baffled Brahma and Vishnu
The ocean of mercy who saved Markandeya
The Lord of Madurai whom the Pandya beat
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

The supreme Teacher who taught the four
The Adi Deva who has assumed the five
Parama, Vyuha, Vibhava, Archa and Antaryamin,
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

The Lord who pervades the universe
The thread-soul, the Sutratman,
The over-soul, the purport of Srutis
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

The effulgence who is above the Three
Who exists even after the Pralaya
Who saved Kannappa and Sundarar
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

He who drank the poison and saved the world,
He who danced at Chidambaram,
He who shines as the Jyotirlinga
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

He who brought the jackal-horses to Pandya
He who gave pearl-palanquin to Sambandhar
He who is the essence of Panchakshara
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

He who dwells in Banares and Vedas,
In Ramesvar, Arunachal and Kanchi,
In the hearts of all beings
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

He who pleaded on behalf of Darumi
He who dwells in Kailas with Uma
He who restored the eyesight of Sundarar
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

The Lord who gave stick to blind Appar
The Grace who begged alms for Sundarar
The Marga Bandhu who showed the way to Appayya Dikshatar
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

The Mercy who took the message to Paravai
The Love who wrote the poem for Darumi
The Fire that burnt Nakirar
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

The Lord who became a cooly at Madurai
And carried earth for stopping the floods
For the sake of a little sweetmeat
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

The Lord who created tank and garden for the devotee
Who became the slave of His devotees
Who sent the pearl-palanquin to Sambandhar
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

The hunter who quarrelled with Arjuna
The untouchable who debated with Sankara
The groom who took the horses to Pandya
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

The Lord who has Uma as His left side
Who is also Narayana of the milk ocean
Who is the child sleeping on the banian leaf
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

The Lord who is the Holiest, the Oldest
Who is Jyoti within the Jyoti
Who is praised by the Devas and Rishis
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

He who is Ambalam in Chidambaram
Who is brilliance in Arunachalam
Who is the great thief hiding in forms
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

The Satguru who reveals in the Chidakasa
Who breaks all the three bonds
Who leads the aspirants to the land of Moksha
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

The Lord who dwells in the Sahasrara
Who is the way, the goal and the centre,
Who is the truth in the Mahavakya
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.

Aum Namah Shivaya

[Shivani Devi]

People can see what I am inside and it terrifies them.
They scream and run off in the opposite direction.
I wish I could tone it all down somewhat, make it easily digestible so it doesn't scare the living hell out of them, but then it wouldn't be being who/what I am.
It's no fun having the final word to say, when people stare down their own mortality in the face, trying to put on the garb of being human and all that entails...
It does get a tad boring, ya know? lol

The Satguru who reveals in the Chidakasa
Who breaks all the three bonds
Who leads the aspirants to the land of Moksha
Him I saw at the abode of Rishis.


Aum Batuk Bhairavaye Namah

[Shivani Devi]

Namaste

...and so it is, I feel things are starting to reach their natural conclusion now.

More and more, I am off studying the Shiva Agamas, meditating, watching Maha Shiv Puran and my hopes of having a nice chat about Vishishadvaita as it applies to Shaivism is quickly fading, if not vanished altogether.

This forum is dead, or if not dead, it's nothing that cannot be addressed by me coming on here once a month or so to see if anything has changed in that regard...where is Vinayaka? where is Jonesboy? where is anybody? yoo hoo!!...even Shivatar hasn't replied to the Rudra post and I'm not holding my breath.*sigh*

The rest of the forum isn't much better, unless I have a 'Twin Flame' that sorta doesn't include the fact Shiva is, or I can somehow work out what colour my Aura is...or I am a 'Starseed/Indigo' or what have you...and all the while, I check up here to see if anybody else besides myself ever posts...wants to even talk about Adi Shankaracharya...nope, and so I visit the Non-Duality forum and as soon as I start discussing the Upanishads there...the universe implodes and threads die.

So I'm like "be like that then!" and I go off and read the Lingayat Vachanas or the Thirumurai for some inspiration...see what latest Shiva artwork is on offer, study the Spandanirṇaya and focusing on यतस्त्वं शिवसमोऽसिn (yatastvaṁ śivasamo'si) whilst gazing at Shiva's navel.

Arrive back on here recharged and refreshed, only to see that nothing has changed in this section and the rest of the forum seems to be overrun with people who I would consider personally to be 'not all there in the head' as their posts make absolutely no sense in the English language whatsoever and I'm tired of posting bloody Rumi quotes just to stay active on here - not that there's anything bad about Rumi, of course.

So, I go off again, find some nice videos by the Maharishi and Alan Watts, Study Vijnana Bhairava Tantra and do some Kriya Yoga...get all nice and relaxed again, come on here and it's all just 'blah blah' or nothing at all so I go off and peruse Hindu Dharma Forums, recalling that I was banned from there ages ago for swearing and I can't be bothered making another proxy server account just to rejoin..

Meanwhile hoping and praying that somebody is going to put a stick of dynamite under the behind of this forum and blow it up into some kind of metaphysical discussion on the nature of consciousness...who am I kidding here?

इतिशिवं
iti śivaṁ

[Shivani Devi]

Well, after what has been happening these past few weeks, I have basically been forbidden to speak about Shiva by Dakshinamurthi himself.

Whenever I do, I notice that very bad things start happening to other people - they die, have accidents, go insane...

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

Well, after what has been happening these past few weeks, I have basically been forbidden to speak about Shiva by Dakshinamurthi himself.

Whenever I do, I notice that very bad things start happening to other people - they die, have accidents, go insane...

My love...everything that has happened to you in your life...everything that has happened on these forums, was designed to teach you a lesson.

You are a child of the Dark and not of the Light never forget this!

You are Aghori! You are Tantrik! The fear and hate in the souls of other people is your Manna! - you felt that yesterday, didn't you? it felt good, didn't it?

You should stop with all the self-pity "why do others hate me?" and "whatever did I do?" and just realise others will hate and fear you for who/what you are, what you cannot karmically control, and then just laugh in their face. If you are lucky, you also get to curse them simultaneously!

It's time you lived up to your birthright! Time you put aside all your noble causes in the name of Tantra and started practicing the dark rituals associated with it and you'll find that those who hate and fear you will be the very first to come to you when their lives have turned to dung...and you just laugh in their face again. =)

When I told you to stop talking about me, I mean that it's time all your knowledge and practices became occulted. You already know that most people are not ready to listen to what you have to say anyway...we are now going to take that to a whole new level. - Shiva

[Shivani Devi]

Yeah, it's time now.

A member arrived on here, praying on my emotional needs....trying to feed off all my insecurities.

He told me that he was my friend...he told me that he loved me...

All just to have me listen to him, follow him around like a guru, hanging on his every word and furthering his own egoic agenda.

At the time, I had no clue this was going on, but Bhairav did and He stepped in to shield me from this energy vampire.

Bhairav made the member confront his own inner demons...made him realise he was wanting to believe those words he was telling others to believe for himself...made him see that he had a lot of deep hidden pain and anger he had not yet dealt with.

In the end, that member went totally insane...posting messages of self-righteous anger, hate, victimisation and vilification in almost every thread of every forum on here...hundreds of loathing spam messages saying how much he hated SF and me and how people on here were 'undeserving' to hear what he had to say.

I immediately protected myself with Bhairav Kavach Yantra, so I wouldn't get any karmic fall-out from this and started lapping it all up...I felt no pity...no remorse...I was in full feeding-frenzy mode and it tasted awesome! I then handed myself over to Bhairav and He ripped this guy to shreds - he was unable to speak...unable to move...paralysed with fear as his whole life was de-constructed before his eyes....he ended up getting banned from here because he just totally melted down after all that.

Then Bhairav cursed him, saying that from now on, if he tries talking about 'high ideals' and 'spiritual stuff'...he would be totally ignored, laughed at and nobody would ever believe him...the black dog follows him now.

After that happened, I could deny this no longer. I have put off studying the dark side of Tantra because my good-natured morality stopped me, but I am up to that part of it now and it cannot be ignored if I wish to learn about Tantra matters in entirety.

I know what I am, what I must do...it's time I fully embraced that magical dark being inside me.

[ajay00]

Well, nice to see that you have thrown off all unconscious company and came out undisturbed by it all.