Finding the lesson

[Belle]

I have a true and deepseated belief that the challenges we are confronted with are ways of the universe or the source or the gods calling to us to heal a karma, an ego, or an area of life which needs resolving.

I don't say that lightly or glibly as it is not a straightforwards issue and I would not, for one minute, suggest that our pains or afflictions are a result of something we have done wrong or a punishment. And, whilst I would present them as an opportunity I don't think that is an easy issue to acknowledge. We don't sit there on a cloud and say "oh i have had my leg amputated what is the lesson" as there are real pains that need to be healed - physical, mental, psychological, psychic and so on. So please don't shout me down as being trite.

The question is, how do we see our lessons. For example - I've written about it - I have a friend (or ex-friend) who owes me a considerable sum of money. And it's really niggling me badly. I'm looking at it from a detatched position (sometimes) and I wonder what the universe is asking me to learn. Is it assertion - the ex-friend is super-assertive and I am the opposite? Or is it negotation? Is it managing the ambiguity (he refuses to communicate with me on repayment). Or is it letting go (I don't want to her that lesson but it is a possibility).

All of these things are valid possible lessons and I earnestly seek the lesson in this and all challenges in my life.

Another example - I'm job hunting and I am not doing too well. Does that mean I'm going the wrong path or I need to be patient to wait for the right job? Or perhaps something else?

The list goes on but how do folk find the lesson in the challenge that is presented to them to bring about the deepest healing, rather than a papering over the crack such that the lesson will present itself to you again (probably in a stronger term)

Belle - re. the money owed to you.. I see that the lesson here is to let go of the attachment to money. Clear, simple.

I have long been seeing life's problems as challenges/lessons so the message inherent within them is usually quite clear to me. For instance, I am currently a full-time carer for my mother (since last October). It has many lessons that are apparent to me:-

- obviously being a carer is a healing thing to be part of and I am aware of the mutually beneficial aspects this brings.
- to strengthen my relationship with my mother (we have opposing values - she's very materialistic).
- to challenge my love of freedom. I am stuck in this house - only able to leave it 3 times a week (for 4 hours each time, basically to do a food shop). It is often quite painful to feel the restriction but I find ways of overcoming it, e.g. being able to hear the sound of strong wind rustling the leaves on trees somehow is a wonderfully (new found) liberating sound to me.
- I am challenged on patience. My pet hate is to repeat myself...and I am required to do this SO often since her memory is very poor. My tolerance level is improving!

There are lessons on so many levels in our lives ...some we may be aware of, others realised in retrospect. With awareness we can face them and learn from them. Without awareness, patterns tend to repeat until we get the message.

[Native spirit]

Hey Belle,

not everything you do in life is a result of karma or learning lessons.its a trust issue you borrowed money in good faith,hoping that it would be paid back,i too am in the same position, but im like a dog with a bone i wont give in.so the person who owes my money back knows she has a couple of options pay back or i will take them to the small claims court.you should visit citizens advice with this they have lawyers who work with them.they could advise you on your next course of action

Namaste

[Adrienne]

Originally Posted by Native spirit

not everything you do in life is a result of karma or learning lessons.

Good to hear you say this , sometimes it seems that karma and learning lessons are used as the explanation to everything that happens.

[Belle]

Ok - slight rephrase - there is the opportunity for a learn.

But interesting views, I relax myself a little ...

[Adrienne]

Belle, I wasn't specifically referring to you, it was more of a generic comment ... I understand your wanting to figure this out. I am not saying there aren't lessons in some things, just that I know a few people who blame everything on karma or use lessons as an excuse for their behaviour. I should have explained further ...sorry.

[Black Sheep]

The list goes on but how do folk find the lesson in the challenge that is presented to them to bring about the deepest healing, rather than a papering over the crack such that the lesson will present itself to you again (probably in a stronger term)

I do agree that lessons or opportunities to learn can be challenging to figure out, but I like puzzles.

Here's what I do if it helps.
I understand what my natural state of being is(meditation really helps one get in touch with one's self/essence). If there is anything that pulls me away from my "default" mode, such as anger, sadness, irritation. I look to that as "something" I need to work on as in my own experience, it will repeat till I figure it out, gaining in strength/force till the ah ha moment.

So say with your friend, you know it bugs you, why?, what aspect?, explore those feelings, it's like a flag or signal to dig around and uncover the deeper issue.

Some lessons or learning opportunities have many messages...such as letting go, but also standing up, maybe the lesson is to let go of your attachment of your image you hold of your friend, and stand up for what's rightfully yours. I'm not saying stop being friends, but stop holding your friend to an image he/she doesn't live up too. If you seem to attach people who like to take advantage of your kindness, look into why? What is it in you that they see? (Maybe a good book on healthy boundaries might help.)

There is actually alot of subtle body language that goes on with people, when you change your belief system, it reflects on your body language, and carries over into all aspects of your life. Most of this goes on subconsciously, but it doesn't need to be.

With your job search? Maybe work on your confidence, or self-worth. You are worth a great job, know it, feel it, others will feel it too.

I do think that when you fix the situation with your friend it will carry over and give you some inner strength, that the prospective job interviewers will see, and go, ah! there is something about her I really like, and need for this job.

All the best.

[Belle]

Originally Posted by Dream Angel

Belle, I wasn't specifically referring to you, it was more of a generic comment ... I understand your wanting to figure this out. I am not saying there aren't lessons in some things, just that I know a few people who blame everything on karma or use lessons as an excuse for their behaviour. I should have explained further ...sorry.

Thanks Dream Angel, it's fine. I didn't take it as that I should totally back off the hunt for the lesson but perhaps lighten up a bit in some aspects in life and take a bit of personal responsibility. I thought your insight was valuable.

[Belle]

Black Sheep a lot of very careful and thoughtful and constructive words which I will meditate on. Thank you.