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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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Old 22-01-2007, 12:56 PM
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I'm not sure what to do????

Hi all

My name is ColleenI'm 32 and feel like I''m going nuts or already nuts!!!! I was in a relationship 4yrs ago now and it was amazing.... He was actually my boyfriend in year 7 (12yrs old) nothing serious of course at that age, there was just a connection. Both our parents are from different countries and came to australia he was not born here and I was. Anyway we met again 15 years later. I was at a pub with some friends and went to get a drink as i was walking back I heard my name being called as I looked up it was him!! I recognized him straight away, there was a connection....... I had to have him all of him and i never believed in love at first sight before until now. I was so nevious and excited the feeling was amazing and I have never felt it again! We spent a year together I knew he was my soulmate, but he didn't tell me he had a girlfriend!!! By then it was to late so much damaged was done towards the end nothing could change what had happened we were both responsible. But in the time we where together it was magic so intence it was like being on some kind of drug all most urealistic a fairytale. I had never want to touch, kiss, make love, hold, caress, spend all of my time with well I guess you get the idea..Anyway since the break up I have had this heavy place in my soul, heart, dark, lost, tight etc..... I just learned to live with it. I am in a relationship now he is wonderful and has been there for me he does not know the extent of the feelings of what i had for my soulmate, but my boyfriend has stood by me in every possible situation unlike my soulmate. This is where I feel like I'm going nuts because in the last few days it has been stronger this feeling of my soulmate an urge I can't control but hiding so well as I don't want to hurt my boyfriend, even though he knows a little of this past relationship. My boyfrind has helped me set up my business, we have made a home and redecorating, planning holidays all of what you do in a great relationship. Is there somethig that is unresolved, did I not see him for what he really was, is he my soulmate - is there such a thing as a soulmate?
Is there still a connection no matter where you are in this world? Or am I just mental or selfish cause I have a wonderful man and not letting go of the past? I appreciate, love, understand the partner I have and don't take him for granted. Can you have a physic connection with someone? I'm so confused....
Old 22-01-2007, 01:06 PM
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I empathise with the situation love can be a very twisty system. First ask yourself do you understand the idea to love oneself? If you can love yourself in truth then you can love others and may find it easier to feel "real" love.

Here is a quote which I think can help people "Trust someone you have no reason to trust, make a promise to someone you just met, love someone who loves you"

Love is a very difficult trial. Its all with you and I believe you will make the right choices.

Love and blessings
Old 23-01-2007, 07:26 AM
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Welcome to the forum Colleen. I really like what Makoorakoo said about loving yourself first. Unless you do, you can often find it hard to let go of old relationships. I believe in soulmates, but they don't have to be romantic, and you cn have more than one. The first fellow may or may not have been a soulmate, maybe you simply felt a connection from when you were younger. Ask yourself, would a soulmate deceive you, betray you, use you, and then dicard you?

Your current guy sounds more like a soulmate candidate than the other fellow. There's more to relationships than emotions, and your current boyfriend sounds loving, supportive, and honorable. Maybe you should meditate with the intent to fully embrace your current relationship, and let go of what might be false emtional ties to the past. Best of luck.

Old 23-01-2007, 03:01 PM
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Hey colleen,

I think Johns right, if the ex was right for you he would have been honest about his girlfriend and chosen you ahead of her. Would it have been better if your ex had been honest up front and saved you the hole in your heart?

Maybe if you are honest with your current partner about this it will give him the opportunity to show you something that will help you love him more, maybe the thought of him leaving you will clarify how you feel about him or maybe you would be better apart. If you are honest, whatever the outcome it allows you to have the best, if you are not honest you will be settling for second best which will always be unfullfilling IMO.

You are definately not being selfish though, just wanting to be true to yourself. It sounds like a really difficult situation and I really wish you the best with it.

Last edited by dreamer : 23-01-2007 at 03:03 PM.
Old 23-01-2007, 11:44 PM
Mother Goose Mother Goose is offline
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I believe in soulmates...we have many of them...there are many different kinds of soulmates. Of course, I prefer to think of them as different degrees of soulmates. Some are much closer than others...but they're all in our lives for different reasons. They're here to help us learn some lesson that we've decided was necessary this time around.

Most soulmates are not likely to be romantic soulmates though. The intesity of your feelings for this other guy...well, they can indicate a strong connection...a very close soulmate, and it may be that what you're experiencing are actually 'residual' feelings from a past life. I've experienced this myself, it can be quite difficult to deal with, especially when you're already in a loving relationship. I know not everyone will have the option of knowing just WHERE the emotions are coming from...but I was luckily enough to remember a life that explained so much of what i was feeling and I was able to step back & realize just what those feelings were all about.

I wish you the best in sorting through your feelings and making your decisions.

JOY is the evidence of internal growth ~ Marie Montessori
Old 24-01-2007, 09:49 PM
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Coleen I know exactly how your feeling. I have the same situation with my boyfriend now and had the same type of relationship with my ex except i'm not in love with him now and don't think about him in that way. Personsally I think these types of relationships happen because we need to learn something for some period of time for example.my ex like yours was cheating on me for ages. My new boyfriend has supported me and has helped me to trust again etc. Lessons about trust etc is what I had to learn. Its my personal belief that you will find a good relationship when your happy with yourself and life. If your unhappy i'm a firm believer in doing something about it. Perhaps you need to leave the relationship perhaps you don't...just listen to your intuition. It knows what's best for you. Keep in mind as well though that if you and your partner have come to the end of the road theres no point either of you being together. I hope everything works out

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