Dealing with Masculine Inferiority

[Volaju]

Originally Posted by knightoflenity

Here in the UK I have noticed that employers want you to essentially swear allegiance to the company.

It also appears that the interviewers buy into a lot of body language techniques etc which work on some basic level but are also so basic that there would be other signs to go along with say eye contact as an example.

I for example feel that my gaze is too strong, the windows to the soul etc so I'm not going to concentrate my eyes on some 50 something old man unnecessarily. They might interpret that as lack of confidence but that's just moronic if you also have great answers & anecdotes etc.

There have been jobs that I am super over qualified for yet have not had a call back because I think that the next guy in the line hit all of the talking points.

I had a group interview once where even though I had handled thousands of ££'s every day & made on-the-fly decisions in my previous job the interviewer clearly liked the stock answers given by the Romanian next to me.

She wrote assessments on our answers & whilst I didn't see what she wrote this guy could say something like "I have always wanted to work for Walmat" & she would write lots down on the paper about him. Where can you go with that answer, does it show initiative or confidence - no.

It's like a lot of things in life whereby the people asking often want a certain answer, my best jobs came from going completely off script & just talking to the interviewer but if they are just office minions then you can be in for a rough ride unless you speak minion.

Waaaay extreme but have you ever considered the police or military? In the UK anyway you can earn class 3 driving licences as part of the training which are a great back up if your stuck for work later in life.

.

I couldn't join the military. I do not support America's proxy wars and would rather die than be forced to kill an individual over something as measly as territorial disputes and money games.

Originally Posted by Blue Tiger

You may want to report the staffing agency to whatever your regional labor relations authority is.

It is illegal to "profile" or blatantly declare some jobs best suited for females and others reserved for males. It isn't just annoying, it's against the law.

I wish I could, but they get away with it by making it as subtle as possible. If you ask them for a job in an office setting, they'll first say things like 'oh, we already have those positions filled,' or, 'You're not qualified to meet them,' event though I have certifications and vocational training them, but there are, somehow plenty of warehouse and labor based positions for you-then, you suddenly realize that all the women who come in are telling you they are getting office, low-labor and many other positions like that- and when you ask them why all of the suddenly there are office positions and why you weren't asked to take one even though you're qualified-((and this isn't just me, several other guys brought this up too)) they say, 'oh, sorry we held those positions for people who are more qualified,' which is funny. because some of them don't even have experience or even certifications in working in those environments and yet they get assigned before us because some off reason.

I'm not some heavy lifting guy who can pull these jobs effectively, I already get reassigned from a labor job because I was 'too small,' and couldn't handle the lifting necessary for it. It was an on-field fencing company where we had to handle 9.G almost 300lb+ rolls steel fencing, I could easily help someone carry them, but ask me to get it on my own and my body just isn't made for it. Every other guy there had a hundred and more in terms of pounds above me and it made wonder why the hell I was even there.

I have great endurance, I do parkour and train in the fifteen different martial arts both in weapons and hand-to-hand when I get the time, but I'm not a dead-lifter and I don't have the money, metabolism and needs necessary to keep up a body like that.

Originally Posted by EndoftheRoad

Focus less on what's not working or what you don't have. Trust in your SELF. Beyond being well spoken, charisma and charm are in my experience easier to reach if you're relaxed and confident in your shoes. Good luck

Thanks, I usually feel very confident but as said as of late I can't even get to many of these jobs as I have to rely on staffing agencies to make use of my position right now.

[CrystalSong]

It's interesting your being pushed into physical jobs by the temp agency's.
I maybe way off base here but it could be they are seeing an athleteism in you as opposed to an 'office demeanor'.

When I was fresh out of High School I didn't have money for University, the Military was out because I wouldn't have made it through Boot Camp due to fierce independence and butting up against oppressive authority. lol I was able to scrape a few thousand dollar together waitressing and so I chose to go to Barbazon Modeling School to fill in my education.

Learning how to dress, hold myself, enter a room, hold a conversation, leadership, public speaking, presentation, voice pitch, inflection, good manners at the table, feminine posture and walk, classic cuts of cloths, how to select high quality cloths inexpensively and so on .....gave me a boost in life. Some modeling gigs to practice the new skill sets at and when I entered the job market again I had an entirely different air and have been management quality ever since. Hiring in at the bottom and advanced up in the first year every time.

I don't think one needs to go to modeling school these days to accomplish the same thing. These days there's enough free information online one can train them selves between YouTube and Ted talks on leadership there's a great free education available for one willing to do the surfing and practice the skill sets into a naturalness and thus to sculpt themselves into what is desirable in the market place.

I lived for years by the saying "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." That means how one carries themselves, speaks, interacts and everything (not just cloths.)

A $500 beater car with 6 - 12 months left in it and a weeks worth of 'office style cloths' from a nice thrift store or 'gently used clothier' and you may just land a job you really prefer to doing over what you are doing now, with minimal financial investment and wise use of self training.

Just a thought :) Blessings to you.

[Volaju]

Originally Posted by CrystalSong

It's interesting your being pushed into physical jobs by the temp agency's.
I maybe way off base here but it could be they are seeing an athleteism in you as opposed to an 'office demeanor'.

When I was fresh out of High School I didn't have money for University, the Military was out because I wouldn't have made it through Boot Camp due to fierce independence and butting up against oppressive authority. lol I was able to scrape a few thousand dollar together waitressing and so I chose to go to Barbazon Modeling School to fill in my education.

Learning how to dress, hold myself, enter a room, hold a conversation, leadership, public speaking, presentation, voice pitch, inflection, good manners at the table, feminine posture and walk, classic cuts of cloths, how to select high quality cloths inexpensively and so on .....gave me a boost in life. Some modeling gigs to practice the new skill sets at and when I entered the job market again I had an entirely different air and have been management quality ever since. Hiring in at the bottom and advanced up in the first year every time.

I don't think one needs to go to modeling school these days to accomplish the same thing. These days there's enough free information online one can train them selves between YouTube and Ted talks on leadership there's a great free education available for one willing to do the surfing and practice the skill sets into a naturalness and thus to sculpt themselves into what is desirable in the market place.

I lived for years by the saying "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." That means how one carries themselves, speaks, interacts and everything (not just cloths.)

A $500 beater car with 6 - 12 months left in it and a weeks worth of 'office style cloths' from a nice thrift store or 'gently used clothier' and you may just land a job you really prefer to doing over what you are doing now, with minimal financial investment and wise use of self training.

Just a thought :) Blessings to you.

I wish that were the case, but I don't really give off an athletic vibe, in fact I'm constantly on the brunt of being underestimated in that field-its odd, even my work history and resume information specifically show that I'm more catered to skill based positions. In fact the staffing agency was astounded that I can type an accurate 60+WPM, but even still I haven't been offered a single position. I even showed that I'm computer literate as I have Certifications as an IT Specialist, Technician and in Network Administration and Maintenance which they told me, for some surprising reason they don't cover positions in those fields at all. Martial Arts honestly has taught more than I need to know in terms of handling people-as many might not know, presentation is important to a martial artist who practices discipline and we are constantly taught in ensuring we dress well, talk correctly and deal in functions that's not just about the body and fighting but sharpening the mind as well. And I don't mean in military sense-the way I present myself has even caused me to be isolated from my race as they see me as 'odd,' and too 'proper,' as they put it.

I realized actually, my issue is simply the position I am in right now, no reliable transportation and many of the jobs I want to go for outside of these staffing agencies being too far out of the way-so am stuck with dealing with their issues.

I thank everyone for their output though.

[Nature Grows]

If you want a job, imo you just have to sound good to people..and also dress nicely, you know what's impressive tho when you go for a job interview? when you already know all about the place your trying to get a job at, you have done your homework and can suggest/discuss things to the person interviewing you what you think is really good about the place or what you think could be better (in a nice way) you just say alot of what you can do for them, you can say you would like the job alot, thats good but not good enough all the time. If you don't have skills for the job you want to do, alot of people say "sorry you need experience" you know? an then your like "how the frig am i ment to get experience if no one is letting me get experience? huh?" you can just do some short courses and then learn about it and put it on your resume.

Thats another thing aswell i think, it's good to have alot of things on your resume, courses you've done and jobs.. even if you haven't had a job in a while you can just make one up and put the referee to that job as your friends phone number and ask them to speak highly of you.. i have done that twice before, it was funny and worked both times.

However there has been a couple times i have not gotten a job because of my race, one lady even said to me "sorry but your not like us" ... i just laughed, ok what ever.

[Raziel]

Originally Posted by Volaju

I couldn't join the military. I do not support America's proxy wars and would rather die than be forced to kill an individual over something as measly as territorial disputes and money games.

Ok ... but that wasn't all that I said was it - in fact it was the last sentence but seems like you waved the rest of my points away?

.

[Volaju]

Sorry, I should have noted that my response to it was entangled in the rest of the comment. As said, I already have a great work persona-in many different fields for that matter. The issue is my position in life at the moment, I am incapable of getting around due to no reliable transportation-and many of the jobs in the field I want are very far away and require very cumbersome amounts of commuting-which sometimes don't even align with some of the work-hours I have to deal with. Which, is why I'm dealing with an unpleasant staffing union that segregates work into gender-based templates on such a low profile that they get away with it.

[Volaju]

Originally Posted by Nature Grows

If you want a job, imo you just have to sound good to people..and also dress nicely, you know what's impressive tho when you go for a job interview? when you already know all about the place your trying to get a job at, you have done your homework and can suggest/discuss things to the person interviewing you what you think is really good about the place or what you think could be better (in a nice way) you just say alot of what you can do for them, you can say you would like the job alot, thats good but not good enough all the time. If you don't have skills for the job you want to do, alot of people say "sorry you need experience" you know? an then your like "how the frig am i ment to get experience if no one is letting me get experience? huh?" you can just do some short courses and then learn about it and put it on your resume.

Thats another thing aswell i think, it's good to have alot of things on your resume, courses you've done and jobs.. even if you haven't had a job in a while you can just make one up and put the referee to that job as your friends phone number and ask them to speak highly of you.. i have done that twice before, it was funny and worked both times.

However there has been a couple times i have not gotten a job because of my race, one lady even said to me "sorry but your not like us" ... i just laughed, ok what ever.

Ah, yes I'm well aware of the 'experience vs education,' thing going on lately. Luckily I was apart of job training school that also gave me vocational certifications who taught me how to create a resume that looks as impressive as you make yourself. There's skills on my resume that I didn't really even get from training, just from life experience, and it passes well. Business Administration does good things for people in my fields.

I've had people deny me for race, even my hairstyle, as I have dreadlocks and not the more unkempt versions of them. Thanks to some misconception, people think we can wash are hair and choose not to and that's actually very far from the truth.

[Nature Grows]

Originally Posted by Volaju

Ah, yes I'm well aware of the 'experience vs education,' thing going on lately. Luckily I was apart of job training school that also gave me vocational certifications who taught me how to create a resume that looks as impressive as you make yourself. There's skills on my resume that I didn't really even get from training, just from life experience, and it passes well. Business Administration does good things for people in my fields.

I've had people deny me for race, even my hairstyle, as I have dreadlocks and not the more unkempt versions of them. Thanks to some misconception, people think we can wash are hair and choose not to and that's actually very far from the truth.

Oh ok, well thats good, sometimes in my spare time i will just do a course here an there at random just to build my resume, my resume really looks quiet random because iv done so many different things, job wise and course wise, but its good.

Oh dread locks huh, yeah i guess some people don't like them, i don't know what else to say about that, i know people do wash there dread locks i have a friend with them. I see a few people with dread locks working in like cafe's or garden type jobs, but just do your best i guess, we know what people want to see, look presentable from society's point of view and give them some reasons why hiring you is a good idea for them.

At one of my jobs that i don't have any more the dress code was strict the boss of my boss was a funny character to if he saw me with even just a part of my shirt un tucked he would pull me aside and other people to and give them a talk about how they have to look presentable, in my mind i was just thinking like "ohh man get a life, its not a big deal" but i guess they are paying us its just part of the job.

[Volaju]

Dreadlocks are a part of my culture and represent a lot of things. Sadly they get bad rap due misidentification. Though thankfully bring denied or them has only happened once in my liife.

[Nature Grows]

Thats good then, keep ur dreadlocks! do they touch the floor?