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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 30-01-2020, 10:54 PM
Flexi-Girl Flexi-Girl is offline
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Earned Love Instead of Unconditional Love?

I came across this video where the speaker was talking about love. I forgot where I found it or I'd put it up. In it, he basically said he believes love should be earned and not given unconditionally with the exception of babies, and or people with certain mental conditions.

He went on to explain how in all your relationships friendships etc, you must always to continue to earn that relationship.

I thought about this idea, and I find it a somewhat appealing. I think the concept of unconditional love gets tossed around so loosely and yet it's never clearly defined in relationships. It makes it hard to know where your boundaries are.

I wonder also, if you have to earn someone's love and they have to earn your love, maybe people would value each other more.

I have to give this some more thought.
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  #2  
Old 30-01-2020, 11:28 PM
FairyCrystal FairyCrystal is offline
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If we want to get somewhere as a species, survive as a species even, we will have to become more loving, closer to unconditional love. It's the only way to stop the 3D aggression, violence, terrorism and war.
I find it pretty naive to say it has to be earned. That's a great way to trash people's self-esteem and teach them they are not lovable but only deserving provided they please someone else. What kind of life would that be? Worthless to live, soul destroying at that.

As for unconditional love 'tossed' around so freely... bear in mind that mostly no one is capable of unconditional love, certainly not in love relationships.
I think the closest we get to unconditional love is with our children. But even then many can be conditional.
So summarized I think in general we only can experience moments of that glorious feeling of unconditional love. (and many aren't even close to having those moments). I do believe that will change in the near future, the more we ascend. We cannot ascend, get to a higher vibration, without it, and without it we won't survive.
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Old 30-01-2020, 11:47 PM
Flexi-Girl Flexi-Girl is offline
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You raise some very good points FairyCrystal. Thanks for that.
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  #4  
Old 31-01-2020, 01:26 AM
Ordnael Ordnael is offline
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It is probably based on the Stoic maxim: Friendship only exists among the virtuous.

While we can't be true friends with everyone, because we always will have more affinity with some, less affinity with others, and no affinity with many, respect and love for people should be unconditional, otherwise we would be no different than wild beasts.
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  #5  
Old 31-01-2020, 03:35 AM
ocean breeze ocean breeze is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FairyCrystal
I find it pretty naive to say it has to be earned. That's a great way to trash people's self-esteem and teach them they are not lovable but only deserving provided they please someone else.

I agree. If love needs to be earned i don't see how you could even call that love.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ordnael

While we can't be true friends with everyone, because we always will have more affinity with some, less affinity with others, and no affinity with many, respect and love for people should be unconditional, otherwise we would be no different than wild beasts.

We are much worse than wild beast. If anything we could probably learn much more about unconditional love from wild beast and babies.
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  #6  
Old 31-01-2020, 04:41 AM
janielee
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by FairyCrystal
If we want to get somewhere as a species, survive as a species even, we will have to become more loving, closer to unconditional love. It's the only way to stop the 3D aggression, violence, terrorism and war.
I find it pretty naive to say it has to be earned. That's a great way to trash people's self-esteem and teach them they are not lovable but only deserving provided they please someone else. What kind of life would that be? Worthless to live, soul destroying at that.

As for unconditional love 'tossed' around so freely... bear in mind that mostly no one is capable of unconditional love, certainly not in love relationships.
I think the closest we get to unconditional love is with our children. But even then many can be conditional.
So summarized I think in general we only can experience moments of that glorious feeling of unconditional love. (and many aren't even close to having those moments). I do believe that will change in the near future, the more we ascend. We cannot ascend, get to a higher vibration, without it, and without it we won't survive.

I haven’t read the piece but it could also mean to reflect on yourself, and your role in the relationship, which seems fair imo

Jl
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  #7  
Old 31-01-2020, 04:44 AM
janielee
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Who is we? There are many kind people in the world.
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  #8  
Old 31-01-2020, 04:47 AM
janielee
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flexi-Girl
I came across this video where the speaker was talking about love. I forgot where I found it or I'd put it up. In it, he basically said he believes love should be earned and not given unconditionally with the exception of babies, and or people with certain mental conditions.

He went on to explain how in all your relationships friendships etc, you must always to continue to earn that relationship.

I thought about this idea, and I find it a somewhat appealing. I think the concept of unconditional love gets tossed around so loosely and yet it's never clearly defined in relationships. It makes it hard to know where your boundaries are.

I wonder also, if you have to earn someone's love and they have to earn your love, maybe people would value each other more.

I have to give this some more thought.

I believe that its better if we can learn to love others, but that it’s appropriate to know that one stays virtuous, grateful etc

If he meant valuing others, including those whom may love you unconditionally, then I think it’s a good message

Treasure that which you have, be grateful for the love in ones life

Jl
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  #9  
Old 31-01-2020, 09:47 AM
hazada guess
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You can't earn love.When it comes upon you,it arrives(with a vengeance) You can't help feeling it,it is not *earned*,that is false love.
We use the word too loosely these days.
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  #10  
Old 31-01-2020, 12:12 PM
Dargor Dargor is offline
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I do agree that love/respect should be earned instead of given for free. Unconditional love is a joke anyway… If some New Age hippy randomly out of the blue told me they love me unconditionally I'd have a very hard time taking them seriously because it's impossible to love strangers and people you don't know personally. Those who claim to love every inhabitant of the world are obviously lying and only concerned with their own status. So yes, I agree that earned love is the only way because there's more effort put into it, and at least it's genuine. Also, no point in loving/respecting someone who doesn't return the same courtesy. Not like there's any treasures in heaven awaiting you up there based on the amount of love you tossed around anyway.

''Go to Town, see new faces, learn to love and hate people.'' Astolfo - Fate/Apocrypha
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