I let myself be dragged into family dramas

[symmetricalsnowflake11]

Hi, as the title says - I try not to get worked up and stay out of the family dramas. My brother is fighting a lot of his own demons (abusive childhood), and while I live my life and enjoy myself he does not. He argues with me and other family members, and his friends, about his childhood. He cannot stand that I haven't pushed family members out of my life because that's how he deals with them. So he gets mad and argues with me, says mean things and accuses me of saying things I did not say. We got into a big argument (yet again) and now we aren't speaking.

I try to remain open and let my higher/spiritual self assist me in remaining calm when he gets upset but I find it so difficult sometimes, especially when I am the target of someone else's emotional pain (mainly my brother).

Anyone have any success dealing with this type of thing? He really stretches my empathy very thin.

Thank you for all your thoughts and love.

[Ewwerrin]

You did not let yourself be dragged into family dramas. You dragged yourself into your family dramas. Not literally physically, but energy motionally. By virtue of your ability to focus into self contradiction, as a consciousness, you can thus create a temporary experience of lesser allowed realisation of all that is being and becoming evermore here and now, for yourself.
They have no ability to choose that for you or to do that for you. And that is also a nice and fun way to come to learn about your own true unconditionally worthy nature of being, and your own true power. To be do or have anything you so desire. You are so free, you can choose bondage. And so everything that happens in your life is all your doing. And that is a good thing. So own it. And then you can simply be do or have anything you so desire. Effortlessly. Naturally. Freely. And joyfully. Truely, vividly, consciously. Lucidly, ever refreshingly and replenishingly. Rejuvinatingly. etceteraly.

[Native spirit]

Your brother needs counselling he is hiting out at anything that annoys him if he was abused he can still go to the joke squad as I call them (police)
he can still get justice for what he suffered,
my friends sister is an Alcoholic because of abuse ,joke squad don't want to know because they say she is an alcoholic,
but your brother is on a path of self destruction if he doesn't get help



Namaste

[FairyCrystal]

Sometimes you got to say goodbye to family members. This can be permanent or temporary.
Fact he is your sibling doesn't mean you have to let him upset you and kind of ruin your life. You don't have to put up with cr@p because someone is family. It may not be easy to sever a tie when it concerns family, but sometimes we have to for our own well-being.

[Rachella]

My siblings and I are very close by age (in the first four years of wedding my parents had already the 3 of us.) Even so, our childhood memories are very different. We love each other, however when we reunite with our father too the tension is unbearable. I know that each of us resents the others for things happened during our childhood, each of us feels to have been wronged in their own way. One of us has also been in therapy for years, hopefully the other two will follow I have found that the only way to get along is to avoid reminiscin. Let's say that we have one full day together, we'd plan a trip somewhere, fix things around at home, go to the cinema, visit friends or relatives. It's important to focus on something else, to have common goals to work on. I have also learned to understand and accept their point of view, accepting that it is their truth and therefore it's true to them, like mine is true to me. As somebody else pointed out, your brother may need to start therapy whilst distance between the two of you may be needed for a while. But to avoid unnecessary drama it may be helpful to do something neutral together. All the best!

[wendy67]

Originally Posted by Rachella

My siblings and I are very close by age (in the first four years of wedding my parents had already the 3 of us.) Even so, our childhood memories are very different. We love each other, however when we reunite with our father too the tension is unbearable. I know that each of us resents the others for things happened during our childhood, each of us feels to have been wronged in their own way. One of us has also been in therapy for years, hopefully the other two will follow I have found that the only way to get along is to avoid reminiscin. Let's say that we have one full day together, we'd plan a trip somewhere, fix things around at home, go to the cinema, visit friends or relatives. It's important to focus on something else, to have common goals to work on. I have also learned to understand and accept their point of view, accepting that it is their truth and therefore it's true to them, like mine is true to me. As somebody else pointed out, your brother may need to start therapy whilst distance between the two of you may be needed for a while. But to avoid unnecessary drama it may be helpful to do something neutral together. All the best!

I found it helpful.