Lord Shiva

[Vinayaka]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

Namaste, Vinayaka.

I agree so much that relationships with Shiva are very personal. So personal in fact, I don't really belong to any of those 6 schools and yet, I belong to all of them, but seeing as how the Puranic version was the first to make presence known to me, I'll always hold a very dear and special place in my heart for it, as you can probably tell. lol

For everything else, please forgive me for trying to get people out of their heads here and into their heart through using mine.

Aum Namah Shivaya

I think first impressions, if they're strong, can only be explained as carryover from a previous lifetime. When I first saw Nataraja, (not a picture) it was like my path was already chosen, right then and there, no hesitation, no decision, just Bingo, I'm home. Only later did I find he is at the very core of Saiva Siddhantam, dancing his eternal dance in the great hall. It was meant to be. There is no turning back.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Vinayaka

I think first impressions, if they're strong, can only be explained as carryover from a previous lifetime. When I first saw Nataraja, (not a picture) it was like my path was already chosen, right then and there, no hesitation, no decision, just Bingo, I'm home. Only later did I find he is at the very core of Saiva Siddhantam, dancing his eternal dance in the great hall. It was meant to be. There is no turning back.

Yes, precisely! That's why I always say that Shiva chose me and not vice versa.

As for Shaiva Siddhanta and the other schools, I just got through reading the Shaiva Agamas (again) and the Thirumurai, but there will be times I will also study the Lingayat Vachanas, times where I'll just read the works of Abhinavagupta, times where I'll get lost in the Spandanirṇaya, times where I will just go and watch the Shiva Purana again (for the dozenth time) or study the Tantras and the Trika school offerings, or do the Aghori ceremonies.

I wish I could just stick to one, but all of the schools have worth, merit and all worship Shiva in different ways and I like all the ways!

However, ever since I saw that photo above, some 40 years ago now, I couldn't stop staring at it. I knew...I just knew that I was 'home'....I was 'His'.

Aum Namah Shivaya

[Vinayaka]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

Yes, precisely! That's why I always say that Shiva chose me and not vice versa.

As for Shaiva Siddhanta and the other schools, I just got through reading the Shaiva Agamas (again) and the Thirumurai, but there will be times I will also study the Lingayat Vachanas, times where I'll just read the works of Abhinavagupta, times where I'll get lost in the Spandanirṇaya, times where I will just go and watch the Shiva Purana again (for the dozenth time) or study the Tantras and the Trika school offerings, or do the Aghori ceremonies.

I wish I could just stick to one, but all of the schools have worth, merit and all worship Shiva in different ways and I like all the ways!

However, ever since I saw that photo above, some 40 years ago now, I couldn't stop staring at it. I knew...I just knew that I was 'home'....I was 'His'.

Aum Namah Shivaya

I don't read so choosing what to read is never a problem.

[Shivani Devi]

Something just happened to me which has shaken me to my very core.

Last night, I was on ebay, looking at rudraksha bracelets, seeking to replace the one I had which broke.

I looked through them all, but they were either too big, too small, too fancy and not the same as the one I had...just plain 11mm panch mukh, rudraksha.

So, I turned my attentions towards silver bangles in the same category and I looked through them all and one grabbed my whole attention.

It was quite unusual and it had: ॐ नमः शिवाय engraved upon it, with a lotus flower at each end, surrounded by an intricate design.

I was going to purchase it, but I thought to myself "no, I'll hold off and if I still want it in a week, I'll get it then".

So, I was out shopping today and I dropped into the small, Salvation Army charity op-shop I go into every so often to check their CD's and books to see if there is anything 'spiritual' that I may find uplifting.

I found a CD of Himalayan Chants which I got and I also found a book on Zen Buddhism...I thought "now that's pretty cool!" and I proceeded to the checkout with those two items.

As I waited at the register, there was a basket of silver bangles on the counter and my attention was drawn to it...and what did I see? on top of that pile of bangles, was exactly the same bangle I saw on ebay last night!

Exactly the same!

It had ॐ नमः शिवाय engraved upon it, with a lotus flower at each end, surrounded by an intricate design. It was $10.

As soon as I saw it...as soon as I realised what was happening, I started to climax physically...I was having an "o" right then and there, in the op-shop and I was like "nooo...not now!...don't do this to me!" lol

I quickly paid for the books, bought that bangle as well and rushed out of the store to the privacy of my car where I just let it all go and went into bliss.

Om Namah Shivay.

[Omsatchitananda547]

Would like to share my latest experience.

This shravana month was blissful, complete month all i felt all day was "Life is awesome life is beautiful" but from the end of shravana i have faced hell.
Everything was psychological mostly, was wearing rudraksha for a month but now when I wear it all I could feel was the sad mood for no reason.
All the understanding of Advaita Vedanta, all bhakti of Shiva/shakti was showering no help.

my guess is eating meat might have added effect on my mind and body but i was supposed to be unmoved in these situations.

I always thought I could pull it but unknown, reasonless, gloomy feeling had eaten me alive

I wished to burn all the gods if they were even present.

was suffering from insomnia in these days, so i had to remove rudraksha mala<wear and do japa of mahamrityunjaya mantra> and put it aside, this move allowed me lil sleep.

also chanting gayatri mantra had a very cooling effect.

I always thought no object can ever have the effect on me, if I had a grace of lord but looks like Karma makes you suffer and lord was absent.

anway stopped worshipping linga <small linga to whom I used to abhishek every day>.

doesn't feel divine but atleast i get sleep.

#Shivoham everything felt void, my last resort SELF.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Omsatchitananda547

Would like to share my latest experience.

This shravana month was blissful, complete month all i felt all day was "Life is awesome life is beautiful" but from the end of shravana i have faced hell.
Everything was psychological mostly, was wearing rudraksha for a month but now when I wear it all I could feel was the sad mood for no reason.
All the understanding of Advaita Vedanta, all bhakti of Shiva/shakti was showering no help.

my guess is eating meat might have added effect on my mind and body but i was supposed to be unmoved in these situations.

I always thought I could pull it but unknown, reasonless, gloomy feeling had eaten me alive

I wished to burn all the gods if they were even present.

was suffering from insomnia in these days, so i had to remove rudraksha mala<wear and do japa of mahamrityunjaya mantra> and put it aside, this move allowed me lil sleep.

also chanting gayatri mantra had a very cooling effect.

I always thought no object can ever have the effect on me, if I had a grace of lord but looks like Karma makes you suffer and lord was absent.

anway stopped worshipping linga <small linga to whom I used to abhishek every day>.

doesn't feel divine but atleast i get sleep.

#Shivoham everything felt void, my last resort SELF.

Namaste.

Welcome to the forums, albeit with that sad tale. =(

I understand how difficult it is to reconcile Advaita Vedanta with Bhakti from years of personal experience and as harsh as it may sound, it will eventually force you into a position where the choice needs to and must be made.

I went with Bhakti, trusting that the Lord knows what's best for me in regards, and in the final wash, both paths lead to the same place anyway, thus you can 'taste sugar' and 'be sugar' simultaneously.

We have moved from the month of Shravana into Navaratri and I've been looking on eBay at all those glorious Buddhist statues of Dakini and Tara. I'm going to buy one for my altar...to join my 13 inch statue of Kali and my beautiful picture of Ardhanarishwara.

I've also replaced my Rudraksha mala with a Parad Mala (mercury mala) for the time being and I've also recently purchased a Shani Yantra.

Sometimes things happen which force us to travel outside that little box we place ourselves in, to see the contents of that box from a totally different angle. For we both know that Self = Shiva anyway, but Shiva is not only what we are, but what everything else is as well.

Having said all that, often in the case of Bhakti, we need to go beyond name and form and all the trappings of worship to identify with the whole meaning and purpose behind it...why it is we are doing what we do...and why we feel like we do and of course, it all boils down to total, abject, unconditional love!

If that is still there, deep inside and you allow yourself to fully surrender to it and give your all to the Lord, then nothing can go wrong and even if it does, you'll understand that this love will shine through, no matter what happens.

If all that love is gone...if you search your soul and it's no longer there and you feel like destroying all of your associations, your pictures, your rudraksha, even God himself and resting within Self, which is only an aspect of Shiva anyway, that's also a good thing!

In Tantra, we say "what doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger" so if we can use Bhakti to transcend Bhakti into Parabhakti...awesome! If we feel we don't need Bhakti anymore and say "neti neti" until Brahman is experientially realised, awesome! It's exactly the same difference (Bhedabheda) in the end anyway.

All the best wishes.

Om Namah Shivaya

[Divine Consciousness]

I worship Rameshwarji, so that I have Shiva & Rama both with me. I worship Mother Goddess Parvati aka Mother Goddess Bhavani aka Mother Goddess Durga aka Mother Goddess Shakti too.

[Shivani Devi]

Namaste.

I managed to drag myself off to the local Indian grocery shop to get some ayurvedic supplies (Chyawanprash tastes awful) and while I was out, I noticed that there was a stall in the centre court of the local shopping mall selling gemstones...my mind, of course, was totally fixated on Lord Shiva (as it always is).

I looked around at all the various stones, charms and pendants on offer and nothing took my fancy whatsoever...I didn't want to adorn myself like a christmas tree with lapis, agate, amethyst or 'dream catcher' and 'tree of life' charms...

So, the stall keeper approached me with a "is there anything I can help you with?" and I sorta said rather nonplussed "I'm looking for a Shiva Lingam" with the tongue-in-cheek awareness that she'd probably give me a totally blank stare and say "a what now?"

That was not to be the case! With my words, she took out a sealed box from under the counter and inside were natural lingam pendants from the holy Narmada river!...yeah, all of my "ooohhhhhs" and "aahhhhs" followed, as I was lost in total lingam heaven.

I said she should put them out on display and she said "nobody really buys them"...and with that, I bought one...a wire snake coiling 3 and a half times around it sealed the deal.

So, I am looking like a "Shiva Christmas Tree" now. lol

Om Namah Shivay