The problem is when someone persistently lies to you, you can't trust them. There are people who are sufficiently self-centred that they can go through life like this: have a partner who is more like a co-lodger with a bit of sex thrown in.
But for those who seek the love of togetherness, the sort of love where you
know, where you don't have to keep talking all the time, where it's got past the stage of needing to trust each other, then suspicion and doubt will leave a wish unfulfilled.
People often talk about "cheating" being extra-partnership/marital sex. To me, lying and misinforming is just as much cheating. Of course it depends on the rules both set, usually unspoken but understood. Breaking those rules without informing the other is cheating, to me.
Beside the point though. Yes, MarieW, but you expected the "let's make up" act. Unfortunately it would need an element of forgiveness on your part which, with a person like this, from what one can divine from your writing, would be granting a license to let things drift back to the same situation eventually. It sounds as if relinquishing his brother is too much of a quantum leap for your hubby.
But things are on the move now and I wish you all success.
Keep well and bon chance!
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