Difficult, I try to give a sincere answer which isn't always appreciated here but I won't sacrifice that for an emotionally nice-sounding but hollow one. As I haven't had anything like your experiences I can only comment from observing others who appear to have. So my comments are entirely my opinion and others may not agree.
You have a crush on him and he obviously lightens and warms your being. But you have never met him.
Remember, his youtube manner, body-language, verbal language, well, his presence
, is to a camera not to you personally. He is unlikely to react in exactly the same way as a camera. People generally try to behave themselves in front of a camera.
Also, remember your own background. You don't say whether you've been dated often. A presumption I know, but it sounds like you haven't. Correct me if I'm wrong. Also, if you're going through a very difficult period in your life - how might that affect meeting someone for whom you've built up a passion? It isn't usually a good time because your woes will permeate the event unless you're very good at concealing your facial reactions. The signals are most subtle and a sensitive boy will pick them up.
You say nothing about what this difficult time is about - perhaps you don't want to here - but if the sight of him makes you feel better you have questions to ask of yourself. You've probably already asked them so you have to try to be as honest as you can with the answers. It isn't easy. Most people unwittingly lie about their emotions.
Just being attracted doesn't mean face-to-face over a table would be comfortable. It could be if you're well matched - I don't know if you consider yourself an outgoing person - it doesn't sound like it - so you have to psych yourself up to be relaxed and easy going while seeming a little
exhilarated about the date.
to understand: You know nothing about him more than his looks/camera maner. He knows even less about you. You seem to be caught in romantic possibilities. You've raised expectations rather high (not good).
I'd say you're besotted with an idea. It goes you comfort and hope.
As for the timing, I tend to be pragmatic. Some people (you'll find them here) set store in this being some magical sign from the "universe" that this is their destiny. It could
just be but I'd reckon that's pretty remote, usually just a romantic notion to invoke a sense of entitlement. The huge danger is turning that idea into superstition.
assessment of this man poses a couple of questions: 1) if he was going to get married why wait 11 or 12 years? 2) Why did they break up - honestly
There could be simple answers to both but if you were to find yourself in a relationship with him they need to be answered (hopefully subtly). Read from the situation that nothing is permanent and that people change across time. In a sound relationship they grow closer or at least in parallel. But they can diverge, as appears the case here.
Are you going to contact him?
I do kind of understand your passion toward someone you've never met. It has happened to me a couple of times - you always remember their faces/presence but the passion fades in time.
Wishing you well.