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Old 10-03-2018, 02:04 AM
WhiteBirds WhiteBirds is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 12
I need help, please

I'm 24 years old.
It all started 6 months ago. I saw a 32-year-old boy on YouTube, and suddenly I started to feel an attraction too strong.
I felt as if he were me. His smile, his way of acting, his way of being, his look ... EVERYTHING.

All right. I think I realized that everything in my life led me to him.
I will explain.

- This guy is from a city different from mine. Throughout my life I have met online people from that city, who always invited me to go.
- He has always felt as if he did not belong to this world. I also.
- Right now I am going through a very difficult moment in my life. I also have health problems, and only when I look at him do I feel better.
- Throughout my life, I felt out of place. A very big loneliness. I was lost. And I never connected with any person, as if they were all far from me. When I see this boy, I feel good. As if he had finally arrived home.
- This guy sings rap. And here I realize that everything started much earlier than I thought. 10 years ago I listened to him, without knowing what he was.

And now here comes something very strong. Which is the reason why I write here.

As I mentioned, I met this guy on YouTube 6 months ago (I do not know anything about him in person).
This guy uploads videos every day for 8 years, recording his routine.
All right. When I saw him 6 months ago, he had a girlfriend for 12 YEARS. And not only that, they were getting married this year.
All right. I was fantasizing about him for 2 months. I felt that he was my man. And also, I watched their videos every day. Since there were no changes, I stopped seeing them.

And 2 months ago, I got the news that this guy and his girlfriend had broken their relationship.

It does not seem to me a coincidence that they were 12 years together, and they broke only 3 months after I "came into play". And more, considering that he knows absolutely nothing about me.

Please, I ask for help to understand this.
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Old 10-03-2018, 10:51 AM
Lorelyen Lorelyen is offline
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 7,141
Difficult, I try to give a sincere answer which isn't always appreciated here but I won't sacrifice that for an emotionally nice-sounding but hollow one. As I haven't had anything like your experiences I can only comment from observing others who appear to have. So my comments are entirely my opinion and others may not agree.

You have a crush on him and he obviously lightens and warms your being. But you have never met him.

Remember, his youtube manner, body-language, verbal language, well, his presence, is to a camera not to you personally. He is unlikely to react in exactly the same way as a camera. People generally try to behave themselves in front of a camera.

Also, remember your own background. You don't say whether you've been dated often. A presumption I know, but it sounds like you haven't. Correct me if I'm wrong. Also, if you're going through a very difficult period in your life - how might that affect meeting someone for whom you've built up a passion? It isn't usually a good time because your woes will permeate the event unless you're very good at concealing your facial reactions. The signals are most subtle and a sensitive boy will pick them up.

You say nothing about what this difficult time is about - perhaps you don't want to here - but if the sight of him makes you feel better you have questions to ask of yourself. You've probably already asked them so you have to try to be as honest as you can with the answers. It isn't easy. Most people unwittingly lie about their emotions.

Just being attracted doesn't mean face-to-face over a table would be comfortable. It could be if you're well matched - I don't know if you consider yourself an outgoing person - it doesn't sound like it - so you have to psych yourself up to be relaxed and easy going while seeming a little exhilarated about the date.

So, trying to understand: You know nothing about him more than his looks/camera maner. He knows even less about you. You seem to be caught in romantic possibilities. You've raised expectations rather high (not good).
I'd say you're besotted with an idea. It goes you comfort and hope.

As for the timing, I tend to be pragmatic. Some people (you'll find them here) set store in this being some magical sign from the "universe" that this is their destiny. It could just be but I'd reckon that's pretty remote, usually just a romantic notion to invoke a sense of entitlement. The huge danger is turning that idea into superstition.

My initial assessment of this man poses a couple of questions: 1) if he was going to get married why wait 11 or 12 years? 2) Why did they break up - honestly?

There could be simple answers to both but if you were to find yourself in a relationship with him they need to be answered (hopefully subtly). Read from the situation that nothing is permanent and that people change across time. In a sound relationship they grow closer or at least in parallel. But they can diverge, as appears the case here.

Are you going to contact him?

I do kind of understand your passion toward someone you've never met. It has happened to me a couple of times - you always remember their faces/presence but the passion fades in time.

Wishing you well.
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Old 10-03-2018, 11:38 AM
Raziel Raziel is offline
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: England
Posts: 1,077
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Just check his subscriber count ..

You can guarantee there are many more who feel the same way about him,
you'll be a face in the crowd.

Go & mix with people & you'll soon see that many people can take your fancy.

Its very rare for "celebs" to spiritually connect with random people - that being said I know of two.

Randy Orton saw his lady at a show he performed at & asked for her number.

Morrissey I believe got together with a fan who camped on his lawn ?

I can't bring myself to Google Morrissey the pretentious driveller to check.

Ultimately remember your essentially a fan/groupie but I bet a million guys would treat you like you are the star.


"I am your creation.
Now, as before - you criticise your own work."

- Legacy Of Kain
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Old 17-03-2018, 01:08 AM
gypsymystique gypsymystique is offline
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,313
Why not just start an email or social media communication about the videos without mentioning the feelings and see if he responds and chats. He will wind up letting you know if he feels he should talk with you.

If not, there's your answer.
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Old 17-03-2018, 04:54 AM
Inika Inika is offline
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 2,301
- Right now I am going through a very difficult moment in my life. I also have health problems, and only when I look at him do I feel better.

be careful of this. it can lead to co-dependent attachment. giving you the illusion its over to someone else in order for you to 'feel good' or better. What i quoted you saying there, should be what you work with/on. Maybe he could be your inspiration.
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Old 17-03-2018, 09:09 PM
ONEsoul ONEsoul is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 100
Why are u asking a question that you already know the answer to? You connected...You want someone to validate your connection. If you want me to do that I will. Yes, it is a mutually felt soul connection, and the two of you are destined to be together. Do you believe any of what I just wrote.? Probably not. Dont confuse, your own souls journey, to seek and find, with the attraction of your first glimpse into it. That is all this is. You have been given a glimpse of what a real soul connection feels like, and now what you do with it is up to you. Consider yourself blessed....Turn that energy into something positive. Often times on this board, what you will read about,is where REJECTION turns into OBSESSION. Do not fall into that trap
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Old 23-03-2018, 06:14 PM
t lady t lady is offline
Newbie ;)
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 6
same here lost
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Old 23-03-2018, 06:15 PM
t lady t lady is offline
Newbie ;)
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 6
same july has started
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