Here's the crazy collection of happenings these days in my TF experience...can anyone relate?
1.
TF and I are in very regular contact (text, phone, facetime, & in person), super connected, & we openly acknowledge the connection and love between us: Just today I sent him an article and his response was "thanks, me." As in, I am him and he is me. Its clear to us both - we are one and the love and connection between us is beyond human.
2.
We aren't and can't be "together" or act on the attraction right now - we both get it and feel that we understand the meaning of this. We speak openly about the idea of this showing us that we both still have things to work on for ourselves as individuals. I am doing my best to give my relationship the respect it deserves while at the same time trying to determine whether its what I really want. As for him...
3.
He's dating someone else, he is open with me about the confusion he feels around it, I've met her, and I love her. He got divorced last year. There is this other woman in his life whose presence/role he can't make total sense of. He feels very drawn toward her. He describes that being around her makes him feel nervously excited. He feels that he has unfinished business with her on a soul level. She is now getting divorced and is reciprocating his feelings. He talks openly about this with me which is some combination of good/healthy, weird, & yes, somewhat painful for me.
I 100% get that I have no right to expect him to wait around in standby mode while I figure out what I can live with/what I want. I don't want that for him, and I know I need to be able to focus on myself without the pressure of having someone waiting to see what I'll do. But, I'm still human.
So, he's exploring things with her, they have a lot of that "new relationship energy" happening which is always very intoxicating. And meanwhile, he still says the most heart-wrenching things to me. Just a couple weeks ago he told me every time he has a thought about her like that he's following his higher self/soul, that they are meant to come together, or even about how drawn & attracted to her he feels, he immediately gets this other little jolt of something. He describes it as negative, like maybe anxiety or guilt. I asked him what he thinks it is and he said "I know exactly what it is. Its my soul/higher self/guides reminding me that it's really supposed to be you."
So anyway, I finally met her recently. And I love her. She feels like sunshine.
He is beside-himself-happy about this and has now started talking about how cool it is that there is no negativity among us and how it almost feels like a family. He says he won't even think about distancing from me. He actually told her about me and told her that he could not & would not have anyone in his life who was not comfortable with me and with our connection, end of story.
For me, there is absolutely no way that I could attempt to do the same. My husband has zero interest in anything spiritual and thinks of my interest/exploration as a strange, hopefully temporary thing. Like scrapbooking or joining a book club. He only vaguely knows that my twin exists, does not know any details of our friendship, and would most likely not be comfortable with it. He is not actually particularly jealous, he's not controlling...but he wouldn't be comfortable with the depth/extent of it. I think its fair to say most people wouldn't.
So that's where things are.
Anyone have any thoughts?
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