A message for twin flames!

[Impulsv]

Originally Posted by bluebird21

Are you two in touch/is there a chance of him leaving her? If you don't mind me asking. My point is that if one wants Union to physically occur it must first occur within us, and we need to make that choice 100%. Maybe in your case Union is personal enlightenment and Union will occur on a spiritual level.

No we are not in touch
N how can I wish for break up when he has a child.
So I guess I don't want it. If it happens n he wanted it of course but that's not reality so I can't choose reunion without affecting others.

I feel guilty wanting him to leave his wife n brake a child's parents just to be with me.
I feel it's selfish of me to desire this.

[bluebird21]

I think you are your greatest guide, Impulsv. If what I say doesn't resonate, disregard. Don't be hard on yourself for desiring that sometimes. I will say as a child of parents who stayed together in an unhappy marriage "for the children" this is never what is best for the children. Happy healthy parents = happy healthy children. But if he is happy in his marriage then that is something else.

I find the quote "if you love something, set it free" helpful. Getting in touch with that feeling of letting go helps me when I feel pain.

[Impulsv]

Thank you for confirming that truth. I at times felt if he were to return i would turn him away based on that belief parents must stay at all cost for the benifit of the child.
I know I love the child n I'd be a great step mommy.
So u relating ur experience re ur parents helps me a bit

[bluebird21]

Great. It was extremely painful to have my parents be unhappily married as the unhappiness turned into deep resentment and then a downward spiral. I started asking my parents at 13 to get a divorce because I knew they would be happier. I am absolutely NOT a proponent of the whole twin flames don't break people up theory that I have read because I know that what makes the parents truly happy is what makes the children truly happy. Also, I don't believe it is fair for a partner to be with someone who knows their twin flame long term, especially if that person doesn't tell them, and by breaking up you free up the partner to possibly meet their twin flame or another soulmate who loves them and only them. I used to be very self sacrificing too as my twin was (is?) in a relationship with someone I have love for and deeply respect. I really care about her. Then I realized that it really is in the highest good for us to come together and I hope she will meet her twin flame down the road! She deserves someone who chooses her 100%. I also think that pain is a prerequisite to growth and that endings are beginnings in disguise. So in short - I think the twin flames not breaking people up is based on a societal/old moralistic view that it not actually in accordance with Love.

[ArchIndigo]

Another story for you..... My parents were together for 12-14 years. I knew at a very young age that they weren't in love; it always bothered me alot. It got so toxic that the physical abuse became more bareable than the mental anguish. My dad brought my mom down with every downward spiral step he took. They had a bad fight one night to the point of physical violence/nde. I'm now a grown man and this ****. still affects me. Aswell as baggage with new relationships; I don't have healthy relations with my parents or siblings as a result. Ontop of that I'm extremely family oriented/loving; so its hard to portray to others who are narrow minded with no physical proof. I always wondered what having mature parents would be like. Or atleast if they didn't live a lie for so long and left on good/proper terms. Imagine 2 sets of parents in true love VS. Biologically toxic parents. Sorry for being negative. Also want to point out that the longer my parents waited the worse it got.

[Impulsv]

Up until recently I had given into the idea that has been forced upon me that u sacrifice for the sake of children.

This past week An aunt in her mid fifties just disclosed her childhood love had returned declaring his love for her n to leave her toxic relationship. She said no for the sake of her family n grandchildren. She loves him still but is self sacrificing her happiness for her family.

It made me so sad n made me lose all hope of a chance he can break that same belief. It made me realize he will never leave his family no matter how horrible it mayBe. I know nothing if this is the case for my tf but it just me if it was
Would he have the strength to chose himself over everyone :(

Then I started to think maybe I'm selfish for wanting him to return n she's right when so many are affected

[Impulsv]

But none of this is happening so wasted speculation
Just made me realize how I too have that self sacrifing aspect to the detriment of me. Specifically when I honestly thought if tf would return I'd turn him away n tell him to work on marriage for sake of kids. Going against what I'd truly want

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by wednesdayschild

So, my 'suggestion' helped?? So glad! :)

Yes! It did help! We're in a great place and working on a charity project together.

[bluebird21]

Originally Posted by Impulsv

This past week An aunt in her mid fifties just disclosed her childhood love had returned declaring his love for her n to leave her toxic relationship. She said no for the sake of her family n grandchildren. She loves him still but is self sacrificing her happiness for her family.

I know nothing if t is the case for my tf but it just me if it was
Would he have the strength to chose himself over everyone :(

Then I started to think maybe I'm selfish for wanting him to return n she's right when so many are affected

Choosing ourselves = choosing others. We can not show up and care for others if we aren't showing up for and caring for ourselves. This is what being codependent is, focusing on the happiness and healing of others and ignoring our own because we either consciously or subconsciously believe that if they are happy, we will be. Which of course isn't how it works. We need to love ourselves as if we are our own children. Only when we are loving ourselves can we love others. Yes the pain of change would be there initially for those affected, but the Love and Joy a true love Union would bring would be exponentially worth it!

I believe that twins or, in other words, two people who feel true pure Love for each other and who help each other become their best most wakeful powerful selves, coming together is ALWAYS for the greatest benefit for all. How could this brilliant Love coming into blossom not be?