In separation, any advice to deal with the longing?

[olhosdeamendoa]

Originally Posted by Jatd

I'm sorry I must have misunderstood you. I thought I read that you said that you didn't want to love him from afar that it didn't feel right.. so it sounded as if you wanted to be with him, my apologies for assuming.

I agree I definitely have a lot to learn. I keep unlearning and relearning things, and some of it I don't even know if its true or if its just imagination or belief rather than factual truth.

Either way, its been 7 years for me and the longing NEVER goes away. However, I will say that I am not so sure this longing is for HIM persay or for that feeling, OR just for closure/answers. I have no idea anymore.
I am not sad without him. I love my life, .. so what is the longing?
Good luck to you.

What I want above all is to be happy and in alignment with my true self, with or without him.

The way we were when together was not alignment at all, with disagreements, break-ups, push and pull, ego shyt and so on. So yes it was better to separate. I was very hurt at the time because I didn't want to separate, but I can see now that it was a blessing.

When we separated I was able to return to myself in peace, and address all the shyt that was triggered in me during our time together. I've had a lot of "ah-ah moments" during this time, and now I even understand better a lot of his behaviours that I took personally at the time and shouldn't.

As I was saying in my previous post, during our separation I never felt the longing. The longing is very recent, from a few days ago.

I feel it like a force is pushing me to him again. I think about him all the time, I want to be with him again, and I can only see and feel love now. All the anger, resentment, etc, is gone.

I think the longing is that, life pushing you to what is yours, after all TF's are one soul in two bodies, right? So the longing is normal, because it is YOU!

[JosephineB]

Well that sounds hopeful the following on social media.

[olhosdeamendoa]

Originally Posted by JosephineBloggs

Well that sounds hopeful the following on social media.

I followed him back as to give him a nudge, will see if he contacts me now.

[JosephineB]

Originally Posted by olhosdeamendoa

I followed him back as to give him a nudge, will see if he contacts me now.

Fingers crossed.

[olhosdeamendoa]

Originally Posted by JosephineBloggs

Fingers crossed.

Yeah, will see what happens. I like open communication like for example in one of our past break-ups I did contact him saying I miss him and would like to make things work. I like that in my partner too.

Following on social media is very different than contacting me directly and saying that. I know how he is, he gives me a nudge like that to see if I contact him. This time, nop, it has to be him.

Because I feel that things can only work between us with that kind of open communication from both sides.

[JosephineB]

Originally Posted by olhosdeamendoa

Yeah, will see what happens. I like open communication like for example in one of our past break-ups I did contact him saying I miss him and would like to make things work. I like that in my partner too.

Following on social media is very different than contacting me directly and saying that. I know how he is, he gives me a nudge like that to see if I contact him. This time, nop, it has to be him.

Because I feel that things can only work between us with that kind of open communication from both sides.

I agree about the open communication. So important. Both sides have to be making an effort for sure.

[bkmac]

I empathize with you. I met my TF not long ago and we are in the runner/chaser phase. I hate the silence and waiting. The longing kills me slowly as I think of her constantly and I had no idea why she stopped talking to me.

After 2 weeks of silence, we reconnected. I initiated the conversation 'cos I was not sure if she ran away because of something i said. Turns out she seemed quite happy to reconnect with me too.

I also experienced the emotions similar to what you described - feeling negative emotions after separation and then love and longing after the resentment subsides.

It is normal to feel the deep longing for one another. This is a twin flame relationship after all. Real TF should come back. So meantime, just go easy on ourselves. Trust the universe to guide us in this journey.

Agree on the importance of open communication. Although we are similar at the core, we are 2 individuals with different personalities and sets of past experiences. Some work has to be done to reach a common understanding.