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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #11  
Old 07-12-2018, 03:20 AM
ocean breeze ocean breeze is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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I don't have friends. That doesn't mean i don't interact with people or get along with them.

I also don't believe that everyone needs a friend. People are on different paths in life. To some a helping hand may be exactly whats needed while with others a friend is the last thing they need, as they may be better off alone.
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  #12  
Old 07-12-2018, 04:14 PM
Bornonthecusp Bornonthecusp is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 119
 
Hey everybody, thank you all so much for sharing your experiences, thoughts, feelings... I realise now that we all come at this from different sides and perhaps, this does come down to our chosen paths, some paths/ phases of paths will involve friends and others just won't. I've definitely gained an acceptance of this within myself, right now I need to be alone. Just to recharge and get some focus back. I hope everyone reading these messages are getting they need.

All the best.
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  #13  
Old 09-12-2018, 03:54 PM
Da494 Da494 is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5
 
Hello, we do need friends. One would end up going crazy in total solitude.
You might be at a point where you feel you do not need anyone because
you are accomplishing all yourslef. But that could change in an instant.
The problem is many friendships are one sided or conditional friendships.
The need is for convenience, or emotinal supprt or some other help.
Some of these that are too dependant or toxic could be cut out or distanced.
The problem is that many are not true firends, not sincere about
undconditaionally liking you just for who you are and not expecting something in return.
So perhaps fewer freindships with less contact with more sincere people
is indeed a better thing.
It is important to set boundaries if they become violated to cut those people out or set ditance in between.
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  #14  
Old 31-12-2018, 06:57 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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I don't know anymore...I am just SO depressed on New Year's Eve, while everybody else is enjoying themselves...listening to music they all love, but I hate...eating food they all love, but I hate...talking about stuff they all love but I hate...how can I even PRETEND to have a good time? and yet, when I go away in quiet solitude, they tell me I am being "antisocial"...and so I say "you want me to be social? play just one song that I like...just ONE" and they are like "this is a PARTY and nobody likes 'your music' but everybody ELSE likes the music we are playing" and so I go "well I don't like it, so what do I do?" and they say "just PRETEND you like it just to make everybody ELSE very happy" and I go "even if doing that makes me totally miserable and suicidal?" and they go "exactly!"

They invite me, but make NO attempt to include me!

Apparently, they all can't pretend to be happy for just one song! =(

So they can all sod off...BIGTIME!

Now I know why I am a loner and an introvert...I cannot pretend to be happy and/or fake ANY emotion because I feel like an ingenuine hypocrite by doing so.

Parties are definitely OUT for me in future...TAKE HUGE NOTE TO SELF!
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  #15  
Old 31-12-2018, 09:55 AM
Altair Altair is offline
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I can sympathize Shivani.. I don't like New Year's Eve either..

I don't see the 'point' in celebrating a ''year''. As far as I'm concerned we're in year X or Y because centuries ago we decided to place special meaning to the birth of Jesus, which for all we know perhaps wasn't even 2018 years ago.. Then, due to colonialism, that calendar became global.

But what I don't like about this day is first of all the fireworks. It's an environmental disaster, it's pollution and the wind will blow it in rivers and it will go into the ocean. We're a global ecosystem yet we allow rubbish like this to carry on and pretend it's all fine in the name of ''partying''... I also have a general distaste for loud noises! I also don't like conventional parties and the need for staged excitement, alcohol, and bad food. In my country we always have food for this day that actually is sort of nice but the after taste is so horrible (and it feels as 'tamasic' as food can get!) I am not going to touch it this year knowing what I know.

In the past I would desperately be with people on this day and yet it actually managed to make me feel miserable towards myself. That awful feeling of giving in to other's needs and feeling like you are abandoning yourself to the core..!!

Be true to yourself and you won't be depressed.
Don't let negative thoughts steal your energy..

Like any other day I'll just do my evening asanas
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  #16  
Old 31-12-2018, 10:08 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Altair
I can sympathize Shivani.. I don't like New Year's Eve either..

I don't see the 'point' in celebrating a ''year''. As far as I'm concerned we're in year X or Y because centuries ago we decided to place special meaning to the birth of Jesus, which for all we know perhaps wasn't even 2018 years ago.. Then, due to colonialism, that calendar became global.

But what I don't like about this day is first of all the fireworks. It's an environmental disaster, it's pollution and the wind will blow it in rivers and it will go into the ocean. We're a global ecosystem yet we allow rubbish like this to carry on and pretend it's all fine in the name of ''partying''... I also have a general distaste for loud noises! I also don't like conventional parties and the need for staged excitement, alcohol, and bad food. In my country we always have food for this day that actually is sort of nice but the after taste is so horrible (and it feels as 'tamasic' as food can get!) I am not going to touch it this year knowing what I know.

In the past I would desperately be with people on this day and yet it actually managed to make me feel miserable towards myself. That awful feeling of giving in to other's needs and feeling like you are abandoning yourself to the core..!!

Be true to yourself and you won't be depressed.
Don't let negative thoughts steal your energy..

Like any other day I'll just do my evening asanas
Thank you!

Negative thoughts about ALL of the above, was stealing my energy very badly until I read that, which gave me some of it back.

Everything is just SO staged and SO fake...and I had JUST got over feeling like this about Christmas....and a week later...MORE...and the fireworks are scaring all the local dogs into insanity!

Like any other day, I will be doing my meditation...IF I can manage to get more of my energy back and not stew over the total irresponsible s*** that people do.

I know now, no matter what, I am NOTHING like them! separatism be damned!

I shall also pray to God to relieve me of this burden on/to society...I am not meant to be here..

*listens to all the women in the kitchen cackling like chooks as they gossip about people who are not even present*

Is it wrong to hate people?
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  #17  
Old 31-12-2018, 12:39 PM
Trinitydown Trinitydown is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: North Dakota
Posts: 1,942
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I agree with ocean breeze. You may not even need friends at this time--I know I lost a majority of mine while awakening. I have a couple of friends left and they are kind of the quiet type--we got each other's backs even if we do not talk much.

Also,

The idea that the smarter you are the less friends you tend to have is bullpucky.

I have never had many friends...and I am not the sharpest tool in the shed. Not necessarily a bad thing, it's just where I am in my development.

There is a definite correlation between being authentic and claiming your voice and having haters as a result of that tho.

I am polarizing to many on the astral realm.
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Give me Liberty, or Give me Death! - Patrick Henry
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  #18  
Old 16-01-2019, 11:06 AM
Schwetzingen Schwetzingen is offline
Newbie ;)
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 5
 
I think that the more you age, the more you value quality over quantity in terms of friendships. Maybe in this season of your life you donít need them, but someday maybe you will :))
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  #19  
Old 16-01-2019, 12:40 PM
SlayerOfLight SlayerOfLight is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 2,637
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Don't mind me, I'm just your average guy somewhere far away in the background. But I must say that I find the idea of ditching your friends over a boyfriend somewhat selfish and not very noble. Especially the few TRUE friends you may have had.

On the other hand, if the only thing your friends did leave you 'negative baggage' then why even call them 'friends' to begin with? Real friends don't bring you down but lift you up. In this case it's understandable to ditch them.
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People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it. - dr. Gregory House
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  #20  
Old 22-01-2019, 07:44 AM
Pheonix Pheonix is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 8
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bornonthecusp
Does anyone else feel this way? I understand that spirituality, life itself is all about connection and love, I do. But, the friends I had, I don't want to be around them, I don't feel the need for friends at all. I have a boyfriend and he's my best friend, of course but I don't have any desire for friendship. I'm cruising along nicely in my life right now, I feel like allowing friends back in could add in a lot of negative baggage, does anyone else feel this way?

I so understand were you are coming from but we are not born to be alone. We are very social people. You just have to find your tribe so to speak. I have lost most of my friends due to a divorce and because I moved away to a new home where no one knows me and hours away from my old home, but in a way it is a blessing. I am getting to know myself again and living the life I want.
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